A morning designed to amuse the bored gods and goddesses, hanging out over their morning gin-and-tonics in heaven. No doubt of it. They have nothing else to do, so decide to amuse themselves by inflicting intricately woven complications on their critters’ lives. Athena, you may be sure, was highly amused this morning. And hevvin only knows what other shenanigans She has in mind for this day
Amazingly, this human slept in today. No kidding: it was almost 7 a.m. when I woke up! Can you imagine???
OoohhKayyyyy…. So the hot water is poured over the fresh-ground coffee in the French press. The dog is fed. The toast is toasted. The bacon is sizzled in the microwave. The food is on the table and the human is hunkered down in front of breakfast and…
BING BONG!
arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
BING BONG!
kee-rap, NOW what? It’’s not even eight o’fukkin’clock in the morning!
arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!!!!!!
Grab yesterday’s blue jeans and jump into them.
arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
BING BONG!
COM-i-i-ng!!!!!!!
Button jeans. Open door: it’s the new yard dude.
Jeez, Dude: you could’ve given me a li’l warning!
They’re here to clean up the yard.
Unlock the side gate. Point out new minor headaches that need their attention. Drag Ruby away.
Ohhhh well. Back to the breakfast table.
Sure. Back to breakfast: serenaded by the roar of a couple gas-powered blowers, a weed-whacker, and the dog barking.
Shortly, shovel the gentlemen back into their truck and wave them down the road. Find a dripper hose with the head broken off. Can’t find the baggie of dripper heads in the garage. Not at all in the mood to toss the garage cabinets and shelves in search of those things — make note to buy more next time I drive past the Ace Hardware. Meanwhile, clip the hose shut with a clothespin.
Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!
Cop helicopters take up the serenade. They roar back and forth….off in the distance, the wail of sirens — cops? fire trucks? ambulances? What. a. racket!
All. I. Wanted. To. Do. was sit down and have a modest, QUIET breakfast.
One unreasonable demand after another, eh?