Coffee heat rising

This, That, and Various Survivors

Lookit this little guy!

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Click on the images for larger, clearer view.

There’s a hibiscus that should not be with us. The mother plant spent several years living on the shaded west-facing deck, where it would occasionally put out a kind of peach-colored blossom but by and large just sat around looking sickly. I thought it was some sort of hybrid of a pink hibiscus. Last fall, it was attacked by a web-spinning bug that encased the tips of its limbs in nests for its offspring. Even though I cleaned and cut them off, the plant never recovered.

After planning to put it out of its misery, I relented. Transplanted it into a larger pot and dollied it around to the front patio, where it suffered through the winter — survived February’s hard frost by dint of being rolled into the living room, where it looked even more miserable than it had looked on the west deck. Carted back outside when the weather warmed, it hunkered in its pot, stunned.

I really thought it was going to die, and kept thinking, “Gotta throw that thing out in the alley!” It was saved, though, by the human’s innate laziness.

Weeks passed. The bug-eaten tips slowly, gradually, glacially emitted a few sprigs of post-apocalyptic-looking new growth. Didn’t look very promising, but I was still too lazy to drag the thing out to the alley.

But lo! As temps approached 100, the plant approached viability! Some actual leaves appeared, and yesterday out popped this scarlet red blossom!

Who’d have thunk it? Apparently hibiscus produce faded blossoms when they don’t have enough light. Why this flower has a hole in one petal, I have no idea…the place is overrrun by slugs at night — one of them probably snacked on the bud.

Speaking of survivors, we have this accursed thing:

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That is the undead remnant of the devil-pod tree from Hell, allegedly killed in December of 2011. That was 18 months ago! The thing spawns dozens of zombie offspring, each one craving to grow a hundred feet high, preferably out of the footing of a block wall or the foundation of a house.

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This little gem is a good thirty feet from the Undead Stump, where it arrived by tunneling under a concrete patio and coming up behind a set of block-and-board shelves. Another sprout is all the way on the other side of the swimming pool. Round-up, which I’ve been advised to use on the damn thing, seems to fertilize it, not kill it.

Talked to a couple of arborists. One said to just keep on spraying every sprig with Round-up. Another will come by later this week to see about grinding the stump out, though probably it’s too late for that. And a third recommended drilling holes in it and filling them with an herbicide. Lovely.

The other day I found a tiny praying mantis nymph clinging to a wall in the house. Glorioski!

Eventually I managed to catch her without harming her and place her in the plants outside. How cool can this be? This morning I found her prancing around in the parsley. 😀 Long may she feast on mosquitoes!

This weekend M’hijito and I went from scorning Mother’s Day as a grossly commercialized Hallmark Holiday to indulging in a Mother’s Day frenzy. Saturday he came over here and prepared astonishing pizzas and glorious globe artichokes, on which we gorged until we were stuporous.

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The sauce is mostly garlic — like a half-dozen cloves or more, chopped — with Italian canned tomatoes. Awesome! This tiny bit leftover from the pizza later got used to top a grilled steak and later still (this evening), enhanced with a dollop of red wine, made an incredible spaghetti sauce. With shrimp.

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Sunday we went to a Mother’s Day brunch at the home of his friends’ mother, replete with galloping grandchildren and the most elaborate organic aquaculture arrangement you ever saw. So that was a lot of fun.

Altogether, fairly mellow.

In other precincts…

Wild about Finance hosts the Carnival for Young Adults  and kindly included Funny’s squib about increasing property values and gentrification by young single urban adults in these parts. Neil Frankle hosts the Carnival of Personal Finance at Wealth Pilgrim, and he included the FaM post on the decision to drive the Dog Chariot until it dissolves into the pavement.

Finds and Links

Here is a really cool online publication put out by the Oregon humanities council. It contains interesting articles of wide appeal to readers with eclectic curiosity.

Mother Jones, that bastion of liberalism, has run an article that overlaps almost perfectly with what we Second-Amendment gun nuts have been saying all along: the problem with violence in American culture has little to do with the weapon at hand and everything to do with our abysmal mental health care system.

Psychiatrist E. Fuller Torrey calls a crime like Houston’s “a predictable tragedy.” That’s what he has also called the Gabrielle Giffords shooting; he says the same thing about the Virginia Tech massacre, the Aurora movie theater shooting, the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, and dozens of other recent homicides, some of them famous mass killings or subway platform shovings, but many of them less publicized. Ten percent of US homicides, he estimates based on an analysis of the relevant studies, are committed by the untreated severely mentally ill…. And, he says: “I’m thinking that’s a conservative estimate.”

While you’re there, check out this blood-curdling map of state-by-state cuts to mental health care.

Here’s a fun new-to-me blog that reflects the current rage for small-scale farming. Lookit this idea for herb jelly — what an interesting flavor combination! Sure goes beyond mint… The proprietor’s “farm” was part of an “edible garden tour” in an upscale district of Phoenix. KJG and I were planning to go to this, but they sold out of tickets very early.

And in the home farming department, 101 Centavos is still doing battle with late-season frosts. He’s got a couple of very interesting ideas for protecting young plants from low temps.

Crystal isn’t looking to turn the front yard landscaping into lunch, but she is thinking of ways to create nice gardens and landscaping for her beautiful new house.

Normally I’m none too fond of infographics, but Evan’s lead into this one at My Journey to Millions is startling. The graphic itself tends to confirm one’s suspicions about the megacorporatization of your daily lives, and then he follows it with another eye-opening chart.

At Blue-Collar Workman, guest writer Ronald J. Curell expresses a certain jaded skepticism about the marvels of the GPS.

Loving that twice-a-day trudge through the rush-hour traffic? Can’t think of a better way to start the day than by bolting down a toaster waffle as you fly out the door, or to end it with a Burger King grabbed on the way home from picking up the kids at day care? Looking forward to spending another day sitting in a cubicle breathing in your neighbors’ cold germs and listening to their banal phone conversations? No? Well, then you need to read this post at Afford Anything. Absolutely.

Edward Antrobus posts a series of involved strategies to avoid the extra gouges airlines inflict on customers with ever-increasing frequency. We really need to vote in a Congress that will do something about this — like bring back regulation. What a nation of sheep we are!

At  Planting Our Pennies, Mr. & Mrs. PoP contemplate a strategy for getting rid of a paid-off HELOC line of credit originally used to help finance their real estate empire.

Money Beagle has a close call but avoids having to pay dumb tax for not having followed a crucial checklist.

As usual, Blogger will not let me post at Frugal Scholar, Google having decided you must sign up for Google+ for the purpose. I have enough “social media” invading my privacy, thank you. Frugal Scholar has posted an interesting piece in which she describes a scheme to increase the number of points available to her students to 1000. This comes in response to complaints on Rate My Professor (a site where students may post anonymous libels against faculty members and rate their sex appeal) that “there aren’t enough points” in her class. The scheme is to multiply the number of points per assignment by 10; at the end of the semester, the vast total will then be divided by 10 to calculate the final grade. She compares this, with perspicuity, to J.C. Penney’s recent decision to increase prices on its retail goods and then have sales and distribute coupons, because consumers would rather imagine they’re getting a bargain on an artificially inflated price than get a fair price every day. The problem with applying that psychology to the classroom is that it requires the instructor to come up with flurries of small assignments (which, as Frugal says, she already does), an issue I’ve addressed at Adjunctorium in response to Frugal’s post. Since in fact you could assign as many or as few points as desired to any number of assignments, you certainly could generate upwards of a thousand points simply by giving every 10-item assignment 100 points. Or…by giving 250 points to each of four essays and holding the busywork. And yes, students who have to break out a calculator to divide by 10 will very likely be dazzled if you snow them with numbers.

At I Pick Up Pennies, Abby and Tim are off on an anniversary minivacation — not before a fine new plumbing bill, of course. Murphy’s Law strikes again.

And at NZMuse, eemusings is off on an extended honeymoon. If you’d like to see what she and her handsome hero look like, she’s posted two adorable photos at her site. Mazeltov, eemusings!

As for the rest of you, Happy Mother’s Day. I’m cutting choir to go to a Mother’s Day Brunch with M’hijito, and so to play…

Training Prosecutors: It WAS Entertaining

No, I didn’t get paid to trot downtown and spend 2/3 of a day in a mock jury trial orchestrated to train budding county prosecutors. Did it because an old friend, recent law-school graduate, worker at a grant-funded county project importuned. All volunteer…it was worth it. What a hoot!

So here was the scenario:

Boyfriend and Girlfriend go to a local casino to celebrate Boyfriend’s birthday. They have a nice dinner, imbibulating a few boozies to go with the food. After a couple of hours at the all-you-can-eat chow line, whereat Boyfriend scarfs up more BBQ’ed ribs than a starving African lion could dream of, they move on to the gambling room.

Girlfriend parks herself at a one-armed bandit. Boyfriend goes to the tables to play a game called Show Low, and as the evening and early morning wend on, he’s doing pretty well. He’s about $860 to the good, but more enticing to his feeble brain-pan, he’s now in the running for a chance at a lottery to win an expensive gift, and he’s also in the running to win a Bass boat, something he’s been coveting for quite some time.

She, however, is not faring so well. When she runs out of money, she applies to Boyfriend for a few bucks to continue playing the slots. As part of their live-in arrangement, they share incomes, so she regards this as a request for her own money.

He declines.

She throws a sh!tfit. The decibel level quickly accelerates. Just as quickly, the casino management asks them to depart. The argument moves into the parking lot.

In the ensuing discussion, according to Girlfriend, he throws her to the pavement, kicks her several times in the ribs, gets in his car, and drives away, thereby “abandoning” her in the casino parking lot. (In Arizona, that would be on an Indian rez, a good long distance from wherever the Belagana She and Boyfriend probably live.)

Nine-one-one is called. A cop arrives. As he’s interviewing Girlfriend, Boyfriend weaves his way back into the parking lot, where, despite creeping along at an ultra-cautious 5 mph, he knocks over three parking stanchions and inserts his car into not one but two parking spaces.

Girlfriend, meanwhile, has displayed several bruises to Cop, which she claims to be the outcome of the evening’s quarrel. Cop takes due notice but does not bother to photograph these alleged injuries.

BF staggers over and engages Cop in a quarrel, during which he expresses his suspicion that Cop, whom he calls “Mr. PlasticBadge,” is GF’s new boyfriend. Cop, not surprisingly, arrests the bastard for drunk driving and domestic abuse.

Fake Jury is asked to discern Boyfriend’s guilt in the matters of

a) driving with even a WHIFF of intoxication;
b) driving sh!tfaced (Arizona’s definition of sh!tfaced is a blood alcohol count of .08; Boyfriend’s was .094);
c) domestic violence in the matter of kicking the bedoodles out of the broad after he tossed her on the pavement.

Prosecution and Defense put on spirited cases. Fake Jurors learn a helluvalot about Arizona DUI and domestic abuse laws, after which we are despatched to a room to deliberate.

OK. In Arizona, it’s illegal to drive a vehicle if you’re even slightly impaired. (This would mean if you have the hiccups, to say nothing of having ingested the numerous hard-liquor drinks Girlfriend says Boyfriend consumed.)

In Arizona, it is believed that any blood alcohol count (BAC) over .08 indicates impairment. Boyfriend has registered over .09.

First off, Defense tells us Boyfriend is a Disabled War Hero, having sustained several concussions (six years prior…) and shrapnel to the knee in Iraq. The apparent unsteadiness on his feet and the inability to follow a point back and forth without jerky eye movements are the aftereffects of his war wounds. Next, Defense tries to insinuate that we have no way of knowing whether the crew of scientists who run the BAC tests have f*cked up said tests. Therefore, say they, we have a reasonable doubt.

Prosecution trots in a forensic chemist (called a “criminalist” in the dumbed-down language of the early 21st century) who bowls everyone over with her professionalism and expertise.

Girlfriend weeps on the stand.

Boyfriend,  limping in with a baroquely exaggerated stagger, proclaims his innocence.

All very informative. Soooo…

How do we hold in the matters of

charge 1: driving a vehicle with even a whiff of intoxication;
charge 2: driving a vehicle heavily under the influence;
charge 3: kicking Girlfriend while she was down?

When we went off to confer about this, I was amazed to discover that I was far from alone in thinking Boyfriend was three sheets to the wind when all these shenanigans occurred but that the evidence did not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he beat the bejayzus out of Girlfriend, once he had her in the parking lot.

We suspected the bruises could have been sustained earlier. We worried that Cop failed to photograph these wounds. Our suspicions were aggravated because Girlfriend didn’t go to an ER to see whether she had any broken ribs or internal injuries. Several of the younger members of the Fake Jury noted that casinos have video cameras coming out the ying-yang, and that Prosecution was remiss in not at least subpoenaing videos of the quarrel inside the building, to say nothing of the probable videos of whatever went on in the parking lot.

Verdicts:

Guilty on counts 1 and 2, DUI
Not Guilty on count 3, domestic abuse.

Here are a few things I learned:

• Police reports are not admissible as evidence. When an officer reports that X person said yyy, that is regarded as hearsay and is not admissible. Only what the officer actually saw and could measure on the scene is admissible.

• Imagining a police officer should document wounds from an alleged domestic violence incident with photographs comes under the heading of “CSI syndrome.” Lawyers should try to elicit these tendencies from prospective jurors and disqualify people who expect concrete documentation of violence.

• Even if you’re far from sh!t-faced, you can be convicted of DUI. Arizona, for example, makes it a felony to be driving to any degree impaired.

• A good lawyer can put on one helluva show.

Training Prosecutors…This Could Be Entertaining

Today I’m supposed to perform as a “juror” for mock trials used to train brand-new county prosecutors. It should be pretty entertaining…

One of my former assistant editors at the Great Desert University, a young woman who at the time of the Great Layoff had  just completed a master of fine arts in writing as well as the graduate certificate in scholarly publishing, used the period of the Recession-That-Was-Not-a-Depression to go through law school. She recently finished, and while waiting for admission to the state bar is working for this grant-funded training program. She e-mailed a couple of days ago frantically seeking volunteers for today’s mock trials.

LOL! Apparently it didn’t occur to them that most folks have jobs, and even those who can spend a day at the courthouse on Friday are inclined to regard jury duty as an onerous task and imposition, not the privilege of a free people.

Have to be at the courthouse door at 8:00 a.m.  So, to race around…

Image: Bulloch County courthouse, Statesboro, Georgia. Richardeleanechambers at the English Language Wikipedia. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Gimme that old-time household junk…

flyswatterHave you tried to buy a fly swatter lately? I mean, a real, old-fashioned screen-type fly swatter, not a piece of plastic that falls apart the first time you whack it against a counter, not an electronic gadget ironically tricked out to look like a tennis racket. You can order one at Amazon, o’course (that place is as good as The Country Store for carrying seldom-seen products of yore) — but only, we’re told, because it’s been made possible by the “Add-on program.” The Country Store, BTW, does not feature fly swatters in its online catalog.

Neither, in their brick-&-mortar incarnations, do Target, Walgreen’s, Safeway, Fry’s, or Albertson’s…least not so’s I can tell.

Nor do they sell a real, honest-to-God whisk broom, or a true dust-pan broom of the sort that actually picks up debris and is large enough to matter. Or a true, really tough scrub brush. Yeah, they have some stupid little brooms and brushes: flimsy imitations made with fake fibers that don’t have anything like enough substance to do the job.

flyswatter2Comes the Crate and Barrel catalog in the mail, and lo! They have exactly these items — real brushes and a strange little fly swatter that probably will do the job better than plastic and may work as well as a real one. They’re only available online, although you can call an 800 number and order through an actual human being. Through May 19, they’re offering a free shipping promotion.

Apparently this new department is meant to compete with Restoration Hardware, which, last time I was in one of those stores, no longer offers many of the dozens of extremely cool “hardware” items RH used to sell. All my fault, no doubt, for rarely ever buying the stuff: Restoration Hardware prices were out of my league, even back when I had a decent job. RH still offers some of those things online, but…well. A dustpan brush similar to Crate & Barrel’s $14.95 number goes for an amazing $38…and that’s with the 20% discount presently in place. The actual price is $45!!

Presumably it’s meant as a decorator item, something you hang on the wall in the kitchen to evoke homey days of old. You sure wouldn’t want to damage a $45 dust brush by actually using it.

Annoying, to have to pay ultra-premium prices for what used to be (and still ought to be) the most ordinary household products, available at every corner dime store. Well, I’m glad to see at least of few of them coming back, although it would be better still to find them widely and at more accessible retailers. Crate & Barrel is not only underpricing Restoration Hardware, its $9.95 price (!) for the fly swatter beats the $12 plus shipping at something called Nessentials.

When did the banal become the effete?

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Preparing for Emergencies: Small, Big, or Catastrophic

Summer is y-cumen in, and with it, presumably more catastrophic storms in the South and the Midwest and more catastrophic wildfires in the West. Most of us probably have thought about and made some at least cursory preparations for in acute emergency, such as a house fire, a power outage of a couple of days, or a temporary evacuation. For an event like that, it’s wise to have a “go bag,” holding important papers and identification, a credit card and some cash, prescription drugs, and maybe a pistol and ammunition. But have you thought about how you and your family would cope with a truly catastrophic, long-term emergency?

Several scenarios, some less unlikely than others, could wreak some very serious havoc and, over time, pose an extreme threat to individual safety. For example, a month or so ago the New York Times ran a report about the monster solar storm that occurred in 1859 and pointed out that if such an event occurred in the 21st century, it could take down a developed country’s electrical grid. Recovery could take anywhere from a week to several years. An ill-timed coronal mass ejection, known as a Carrington event, is thought not to be a “maybe” occurrence but a “sooner or later” one. John Kappenman, an expert on the effect of solar storms on utilities, says utilities will suffer severe damage to expensive transformers and other key components, resulting in outages that could last for months. “Think of Sandy magnified by a hundredfold,” he suggests.

We’ve already seen what Hurricane Sandy did. Many people are still out of their homes, and it remains to be seen whether the damaged development will be — or even should be — rebuilt.

Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, causing the worst engineering disaster in the history of the U.S. and leading to civil disturbances, breakdown of civil order, mass evacuations, and extreme threats to public health and safety.

Long-term drought and heat have brought catastrophic wildfires into cities such as Colorado Springs, Los Angeles, and and Oakland. Wildfire seasons seem to start earlier and be more intense each year. To those of us who believe in science, it’s pretty clear these are not flukes but events we can expect to see occurring with increasing frequency and severity. But even if you’re a climate-change denier, it’s impossible to overlook the fact that massive, catastrophic climate events have occurred in the past — one of them admirably chronicled by Ken Burns for PBS.

Be that as it may, we don’t need Mother Nature to cause trouble for us: we can do a pretty good job of that ourselves. A recent report from the National Academy of Sciences points out that a well organized and well timed terrorist attack on the power grid would cause cascading outages across North America that could take weeks or months to repair. Nor would a series of bombs be required to take down the power grid: a smart hacker could accomplish the same from the comfort of a desk chair. It is believed that countries unfriendly to the U.S. are already at work on building such a capability.

Consider what would happen if we had little or no electric power for an extended period.

We have, of course, the obvious issues: large parts of the American Southwest are habitable during the summer only by dint of air conditioning. The reverse is true in the upper Midwest and the North Atlantic states: people survive the winters because their homes are heated by electricity or by fuels that require electric power to produce and dispense them. Hospitals need electric power to keep patients alive. Airplane, automobile, and train traffic is made possible to a large extent by electric power. The vast computer system on which our commerce system depends runs on electricity. Even laptops and cell phones have to be recharged occasionally.

On an individual level, the ramifications are huge.

• You couldn’t refuel your car — gas pumps run on electricity, too.
• Most retailers couldn’t sell food, medications, or repair supplies to you: their computerized cash registers require electricity to operate.
• Electric stoves wouldn’t work, so if yours is one of those elegant glass-top stoves, you couldn’t cook food or sterilize water.
• Modern gas stoves, which have no pilot lights, also need electricity to run safely or, for many models, to operate at all.
• Not that you’d have food for long: whatever is in your freezer and refrigerator would spoil within hours or days.
• Without diesel or gasoline to power trucks, many parts of the country would quickly see food shortages.
• Absent air-conditioning or heating, the elderly and small children would be at great risk. In the event of an outage that extended weeks or months, people would die.
• Hospital emergency rooms would be available only for the most dire cases; obtaining medical care would be difficult or impossible.
• As conditions deteriorated, some of our honored neighbors would run amok, looting, robbing, and rampaging  with little to stop them. The difficulty of maintaining civil order in a large city would make conditions extremely dangerous for everyone.

So…even if you’re not washed out of your home by a flood, blown away by high winds, buried under earthquake debris, burned out by wildfire, or suffocated in dust storms, some very alarming scenarios are not only possible but even, to a degree, likely. It’s worth considering how you can be prepared for events ranging from short-term emergencies to catastrophic events that could disrupt commerce and services for days, weeks, or months.

Even a passing emergency could require you to evacuate your home. Your absence might be brief, or it could extend for quite some time. At a bare minimum, you should always have an emergency kit in your car. This should contain items such as these:

• water (at least a gallon per person)
• space blanket(s)
• towel
• toilet paper
• flashlight
• battery-operated lamp
• fresh batteries to operate these tools
• iodine pills or a water filter, or both
• first-aid kit
• jackknife
• matches/butane lighters
• rope
• twine
• jumper cables

Stored in a safe and accessible place in the house, you should have a grab-and-go kit containing certain key items; for example:

• important papers
• government-issued identification
• pictures you would like not to lose
• cash
• credit card
• prescription drugs
• a pistol & ammunition (assuming you know how to use a gun safely)

You should never have to make a mad dash for these things. Here, for example, we have a reporter describing just such a frantic search. You shouldn’t be running around trying to grab things as a wildfire is bearing down on you or floodwaters are climbing the front steps. Anything that you absolutely have to take should already be packed, preferably in a locked metal box.

Your gas tank should always be pretty close to full. Some people store gasoline in a safe place on their property; keep gas cans full and away from sources of ignition.

In case of a protracted evacuation, you might also want to store some gear that can quickly be packed in your car. This might include a full set of camping gear — if your car isn’t large enough for you and your partner or your family to sleep in, it would be wise to store a tent near the vehicle. In addition to the items listed for your emergency kit and your grab-and-go bag, you would need supplies like these:

• camp stove and propane
• lighter or store of matches in a waterproof container
• lightweight camping dishes & cookware
• knives, spoons, forks
• drinking vessels
• can opener
• rope
• twine
• soap
• detergent (liquid) for washing dishes and hair
• toilet paper
• towel(s)
• toothbrushes
• aspirin
• antacids
• anti-diarrheal agent such as Imodium or Pepto-Bismol
• sleeping bags or blankets
• jackets
• rainwear
• hats
• day packs
• camping food
• pet food, packed & ready to go
• pet dishes
• medications for pets, if any
• collars and leashes for pets (take steps in advance to deal with pets during an emergency)
• evidence of dogs’ immunization
• if you carry a gun, extra ammunition

If, on the other hand, you did not have to evacuate but instead faced lengthy power or water outages or had to “shelter in place,” as the new turn of phrase has it, you would want to have your home supplied for a period of self-sufficiency. It would be good at least to have staple foods and various tools and supplies in place.

• rice, beans, canned foods
• flour and bread-baking ingredients
• extra pet food
• propane
• propane grill, camp stove, or both
• crank or battery-operated radio
• battery-run lamp
• extra batteries
• bottled water in carboys
• barterable items, such as cigarettes, ammunition, alcohol, and the like
• pistol or shotgun, with appropriate ammunition
• gasoline, safely stored
• extensive first-aid kit
• supply of prescriptions
• OTC pain-killers
• OTC cough, cold, and allergy medications
• a land-line phone — not one that operates on cable, which requires electric power
• generator (either a small one or a whole-house system)
• fuel to operate the generator
• functional vegetable garden
• if you have a large enough yard: chicken coop & hens
• iodine pills, a water filter, or both
• a supply of cash — at least $1,000 stashed in a safe place (check your homeowner’s insurance: many policies provide coverage for up to $1,000 of cash)
• tools such as a hammer, screwdrivers, saw, hatchet, wrench, box-knife, and shovel
• fire extinguisher

If you have a camper or an RV, remember that some such vehicles have a propane fridge, stove and even a generator, all of which could come in handy. Be sure to have enough fuel on hand to run the RV’s features.

These are not exhaustive lists. But at least they should give you a start on thinking about emergency preparedness. With the three-pronged threats of extreme weather events, hacking, and terrorism now part of our reality, we all should have an escape plan and a stay-at-home survival plan that will tide us over for several weeks.