Coffee heat rising

Hoppin’ John and Cornbread: The Good Luck New Year’s Dish

My father, being a Texas boy (he used to say the best thing about being from Texas is being as far from it as you can get), loved black-eyed peas. I was never nuts about them, because Southern recipes overcook them to an unappetizing state of sogginess. But in my grown-up incarnation, I learned that they lend themselves to butter-braising very nicely. If you buy them fresh or frozen and cook them to just the far side of al dente, they can make a nice side dish. But first…in honor of New Year’s Eve, when black-eyed peas are said to bring luck to the celebrants, below is an authentic Hoppin’ John recipe, along with the best corn bread I know how to make.

Hoppin’ John

You need:

2 cups dried cow peas or black-eyed peas
1/4 pound salt pork or one meaty hamhock
2 cups cooked rice
salt and pepper to taste
2 Tbsp butter

Ideally, you should soak the peas overnight. But if you’re getting a late start, cover the peas with water in a large pot; bring the water to a rolling boil and hold it there for one minute. Then turn off the heat and allow the beans to soak for one hour. (Skip this step if you’re starting with fresh or frozen black-eyed peas.)

Drain the soaking water and cover the softened peas with fresh water. Cook with the pork until the peas are tender, but be careful to keep them whole. Only a small amount of liquid should be left. When the beans are done, add the cooked rice and season to taste with salt, pepper, and butter; simmer another 15 minutes to combine flavors.

Serve with cornbread and butter. Add a nice green salad and you’ll have a full, healthful meal.

Cornbread

You need:

1/2 cup white flour
1 1/2 cups yellow or white corn meal
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 Tbsp baking powder
3 eggs
1 up milk
1/4 cup cream
1/3 cup melted butter
more butter to oil the pan

Butter a 9 x 9-inch or 8 1/2 x 11-inch baking pan generously. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Place the pan into the oven to warm it while you’re combining the cornbread ingredients.

In a mixing bowl, stir all the dry ingredients together to combine well.

In another bowl, beat the eggs well with a wire whip or hand mixer. Mix in the milk and butter. Using a wooden spoon or the wire whip, mix these liquids into the dry ingredients; stir to combine thoroughly. Add the melted butter and combine well.

Pour the batter into the hot buttered baking pan. Bake 15 to 20 minutes, until the cornbread pulls away from the surface of the pan. Serve with lots of butter and honey. Yum!

Yuppified Black-Eyed Peas

Here’s how I like them…

You need

1 bag of frozen black-eyed peas
a tablespoon or two of butter
herbs (fresh or dry) such as marjoram, oregano, or thyme: to taste
a little green onion
fresh parsley, if you have some around
salt and pepper, to taste
cayenne pepper or Tabasco sauce, to taste
water

Bring a pan of water to the boil. Dump the frozen peas into the water and allow to cook a minute or two. Drain the peas in a colander. Toss the butter into the hot pan. When the butter’s melted, return the peas to the pan. Add some herbs, as desired; stir to combine. Cover the pan and allow the peas to simmer gently over low heat until they’re cooked to your taste. I like mine softened but not soggy. At the end of cooking, stir in a chopped green onion and, if you happen to have it, some chopped fresh parsley.

To serve, season with salt, pepper, and (if desired) cayenne or Tabasco sauce.

This post  is a rerun of one published a year ago. Hoppin’ John is a perennial favorite, and the recipe is a handy one.

MozRank…Is This the New PageRank?

Have you noticed the groundswell of blogospheric opinion in favor of MozRank, a new website page ranking system? Google PageRank is moribund—some rumors suggest it will soon go away altogether—but even if it weren’t, many of us are frustrated with its inscrutability, immutability, and apparent unfairness.

From what I can tell, MozRank is a metric devised by an outfit that calls itself SEOmoz. It ranks your site according to a group of standards based on incoming links and purports to show the site’s relative popularity. Apparently advertisers are beginning to pay more attention to this metric than to PR.

Go to this tool to see how your blog MozRanks. It not only gives you some stats, it offers some useful, if machine-generated, observations and critiques that may help you increase visibility. You can also try this one, billed as a website grader—it gives slightly different information, also full of interesting data.

Google might do well to take note of the number of bloggers who are attracted to MozRank…strikes  me as yet another symptom of Google’s aloofness from its market. Check it out:

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff, MozRank – The Preferred Ranking System
Buy Like Buffett, Page Rank Schmage Rank
Everyday Tips and Thoughts, MOZrank vs. PageRank- What Is The Better Way To Measure The Value Of A Website?
Raven, Goodbye PageRank, Hello mozRank
Invest It Wisely, How MozRank Is Filling The Gaping Hole Left By PageRank
Faithful With A Few, MozRank: The Reliable Alternative to PageRank
KNS Financial, The Reliable Alternative To PageRank
Saving Money Today, The Death of Google PageRank
Money Green Life, mozRank Is The New PageRank
Simply Stacie, Bye Bye Google Page Rank – Hello MozRank
The College Investor, How Google Violates its Own Corporate Philosophy and How it Hurts the Little Guy
Barb Friedberg, MozRank, Competition, & Links
Sweep Tight, MozRank – Finally an Alternative to Google Page Rank!
Lindsay Blogs, Move Over PageRank, mozRank Is Here!

How does MozRank compare with Google PR when it comes to ranking your site?

PR still shows FaM at 3, where it’s been for the many months since Google decided to bump everyone down one or two levels. It was there before FaM rose into Alexa’s top 100, it stayed there all the time FaM hovered at that stratospheric height, and it’s still the same now that FaM has dropped into the 200s.

Using Blog Grader, MozRank gives Funny a grade of 90 (unclear what this means, but it seems to be more or less adequate) and a rank of 56,536 among 595,676 other blogs SEOMoz has graded. It shows an estimated traffic rank of 322,549 for highest unique website visitors out of 4 million blogs. The SEO Authority, whatever that might be, is 0, probably meaning something in the guts of FaM’s WordPress code isn’t activated or working right.

Running Website Grader on Funny generates a grade of 99; we’re told that “a website grade of 99/100 for funny-about-money.com means that of the millions of websites that have previously been evaluated, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 99% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness.” Okay…I’ll buy that! 😉 This tool provides some interesting insights. It doesn’t like the number of images, for example—slows loading (and it must be admitted, that silly infographic about the bees does take half your lifetime to load). It says the reading level is at the primary/elementary school level (seriously?). And it gives the site a Moz ranking of 5 out of 10. That’s more like what PR used to say, before it demoted all but the biggest sites.

Whaddaya think? Have you tried MozRank on your site? How do you like it?

Live-Blogging from Storm Central

It’s gettin’ mighty cold out there! And dark. Here in the middle of the afternoon, all the lights in the room are burning against the twilight gloom that seeps in through the windows.

A big cold front has lurched in from the West Coast. We’re supposed to see rain all day today, tonight, and tomorrow and then, as is common when a winter storm’s cloud cover lifts, a hard freeze. Thursday and Friday temps will drop into the low 20s, once again killing every plant in Phoenix that still possesses a leaf.

Under the kitchen counter and not pleased

I’ve hauled in every potted plant I could pick up or shove onto the dolly. The dining room and family room are populated with them. They’re not pleased with me for cheating them of their chance to soak up some unsalted, unchlorinated water, which is what falls out of our skies, so much superior to what barfs out of the tap. But it will rain again. This freeze will happen only once in the next four or five years. They will be glad to spend the next few nights indoors, those plants.

Gerardo came by with his 16-year-old son, one of those adolescents who starts to look like a young man before he can lift a can of beer to celebrate his new mustache. Wrestled the two surviving strings of old incandescent Christmas lights into the lime tree, in hopes of fending off a repeat of the dieback the last freeze dealt it three or four years ago. There really aren’t enough lights to do much good. We hung a shop light up in the middle of the canopy, too. Hope these will emanate enough heat to save most of the tree.

***

My neighbor Terri got a new air conditioner today. The AC dudes spent a third of the day, most of it in cold, pouring rain, wrestling the old unit off her roof and wrestling a new one on. It possesses a sterling new quality: QUIET! Yes. Last time I looked out there, it was humming softly to itself: quieter right outside my beloved west deck (the Leafy Bower) than the swimming pool motor. This is nice, very nice: in the past when Terri’s AC unit came on, the racket was enough to drive one inside. I hope it saves her as much on her bills as it does in noise relief!

***

Gerardo looked askance at the AC dudes. He refused to leave until he saw that I’d locked the security door on the garage’s west side, which the AC dudes could observe in action all the time he and his son were fooling around out there. {sigh} I’m afraid he’s becoming Americanized.

Gerardo emanates decency. He’s one of those men who revives your confidence in the human race. If you’ve ever traveled deep into Mexico, you’ve met a number of men and women like him: gracious, polite, and genuinely kind. I imagine when you live in a small village, it’s easy to see who’s morally challenged, and so one probably aspires to common decency. Whatever the cultural impetus, it seems to work. Gerardo makes me want to move to the Yucatán, whence he came.

When I first met Gerardo some years ago, he seemed preternaturally trusting. Naive, some of us might say. But alas, Candide takes instruction well, and now, even though with his friends he’s still his Old-World self, he doesn’t waste his goodwill on everyone anymore.

***

As we were untangling the strings of lights I’d heedlessly tossed into a box last winter, the mailman walked into the garage to deliver the first of the two pair of tights I’d bought to go with a couple of the tops captured in Monday’s bargain-hunting frenzy. These were the black Danskins.

They look great with the white Nygård tunic bearing the gaudy peony (or whatever it is) and good enough for government work with the long black knit top. The latter, I think, will be mostly for around-the-house; the former certainly fine for the grocery store and waypoints. But oh! They are so comfortable! Really, I didn’t want to take them off.

The style of wearing tights under a tunic, long a fatlady strategy, is probably passé—my daughter-in-sin, a chronic yo-yo dieter, used to affect this combination when she was feeling tubby. But gosh. Who cares? It makes me drop about 20 visual pounds! It’s far more comfortable than my usual uniform of Costco jeans and knit tops. And…mirabilis! These things don’t have to be ironed!

Quite a few other tunic-length tops reside in the closet, begging to be worn with them.

***

The American Express bill arrived too, along with the tights. Holy mackerel: $2,330!

What on earth happened to my $800 budget?

Well, $520 or so of that was paid by M’hijito, who bought a new dryer at Sears. We charged it on my card so I could get the AMEX kickback, and he instantly wrote me a check to cover it.

Then there was the down payment on the ottoman I’ve coveted at Crate & Barrel, which I planned to pay from diddle-it-away savings.

And the $450 for 2011 Delta Dental coverage. I have got to get my teeth cleaned! Been afraid to set foot in a dental office since my coverage lapsed last May. And I suspect I need at least two new crowns. There’s a waiting period…hope I can last through it! La Maya has a dentist whom she describes as the (hunky!) Dentist from Heaven, so as soon as his office opens after the New Year, I’ll try to get in.

The Times double-charged me again this month, one of those habits of hard-copy periodicals that tends to drive one away from subscriptions. Amazingly, they always contrive to do this in months when I’m already overcharged.

And, since none of this explains a $1,500 budget overrun, this was definitely an overcharge month!

At I Pick Up Pennies, Abigail describes a kind of spending exhaustion. That’s exactly how I’m feeling, even though most of this month’s outrageous expenditures were really not extravagances but things that were truly needed. I feel the same way: would like to spend the next month in full frugal mode. Hold the bills, please!

😀

In the Depths of the Dillard’s Outlet

I just bought $756 worth of clothes!

Yes. That would be eleven (count’em, 11) shirts.

And I paid $108 for the lot.

Yesterday morning La Maya suggested we explore the Dillard’s outlet store, in the Metrocenter Ghost Mall on I-17 just south of Peoria Avenue in Phoenix. I haven’t visited those precincts in years. The once-vibrant mall, North America’s largest at the time it was built, died a decade ago. A doughty Trader Joe’s hung on until, four or five years ago, it closed as the chain followed the white flight to the city’s overbuilt, overpriced suburbs. The Macy’s closed long ago. The Broadway died. Penney’s fled. A wan Sears store hangs on, for reasons I can’t fathom—no one ever seems to go in there—and a moribund amusement park runs seasonally. Otherwise, the main attraction is a bus station.

Dillard’s has chosen to convert its Ghost Mall store into a bargain basement, there to unload merchandise that wouldn’t move off the racks in its tonier stores.

I don’t ordinarily do well in such establishments. The lighting is dim, the atmosphere dingy, and the clothing jammed indiscriminately onto rack after rack after depressingly endless rack. It’s hard to separate the good stuff (if there is any) from the junk, and I have little patience with sorting through piles of orphaned, cut-rate clothing. Normally, all I can see is the rayon pink, green, and purple polka-dotted number, which seems to come to hand wherever one reaches.

So without La Maya’s urging, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to go there. In fact, I didn’t even know Dillard’s had an outlet store there. She said she’d found a bunch of sweet designer tops to wear on her recent trip to Hawaii. So…why not?

Hee heee! I’m sure glad I went along!

Pawing through the vast offerings of unsold clothing, we came across piles of upscale designer outfits in every size. We staked out a dressing room and, unimpeded by any nosy staff (as in “please…you want it? take it out the door! pay if you feel in the mood”), the two of us must have dragged forty or fifty tops back there.

About 90 percent of them didn’t fit. I’d guess a lot of the Asian-made clothing we find on the racks doesn’t sell because it’s mis-sized. Most were too large; some were too small. Several sleeveless shirts were cut unevenly, so that the arm-holes were different sizes. And these were fancy labels: Jones New York, Eileen Fisher, and the like. Every stitch was made in China or a third-world country.

Try on enough clothes, though, and sooner or later you’ll find something that fits and doesn’t look hideous.

Everything had already been marked down several times, and now the store was offering 50% off the most recent marked price. So a $7.50 shirt cost $3.25! The most I paid was about $18, and that was for an M.S.S.P. shirt whose original retail price was $128.

Wow!

So I came away with 11 tops ranging upwards of $60 apiece in alleged value, for just a little over a hundred bucks.

Two of them are tunic-length affairs. I’ve been coveting a pair of leggings ever since my favorite J. Jill saleslady suggested they’d be good with some of that store’s costumes. So as soon as I got home, I booted up Amazon.com and ordered a pair of ankle-length Danskins in black, to go with the M.S.S.P. top, and a pair of maroon tights from American Apparel, which should look awesome under the wild-looking Nygård thing with the fantastic Vera-like flower on the front—all very Finnish and politically incorrect in the worst way. Hope they fit—I haven’t worn Danskins since I was in my 20s, when I favored leotards to go with all those bell-bottoms and broom skirts. 😉

So it was a hugely successful shopping trip! We couldn’t have done any better at a thrift shop. And now I have almost a dozen much-needed, brand-new shirts, most of them far more feminine than the usual mannish stuff I pick up at Costco.

Twitter followers!

Hi, there, beloved Twitter followers!

Thanks for following Funny about Money on Twitter.

Just to let you know… After some changes made following the Gawker hack, Twitter decided it wouldn’t accept any iteration of either my new or old password. I am totally out of patience with this game, and so I’m not even going to try to jump through still more hoops to get back in. This stuff has occupied way too many hours of my time, and the chronic frustration over the wasted time and recurring annoyance is making my stomach cramp, my jaws clench, and my head hurt.

So it’s not that I don’t love you (I do, I do!!). It’s  that just Twitter has tilted the pinball machine: enough is enough.

Happy New Year to the All You Twitterers!

Tax Break Comin’ Your Way! What Will You Do with It?

Last week President Obama signed a bill that will lower your 2011 Social Security taxes from 6.2% to 4.2%, for next year only. This tax holiday, which, bizarrely enough, will cost the federal government $120 billion at a time when the government is facing astronomical deficits and we’re being told Social Security is headed for Hell on a skateboard, could save you as much as $2,136 next year. If you’re a couple both of whom earn over $106,800, you’ll see a $4,272 tax break.

The theory behind it is that the increase people will see in their monthly or biweekly paychecks will be small enough to look like gravy and so they’ll diddle it away on stuff and services, thereby supposedly stimulating the economy.

Could be. Could be voodoo works to cure warts, too.

I must say, if someone handed me $2,136 it would go straight to savings—even if I were wealthy enough for that amount to apply. O’course, that’s not what you’re going to see in your paycheck; it’ll be dribbled out to you in $178/month increments, or $89 per paycheck if you’re paid twice monthly. Considerably less, actually, unless you earn a top-tier paycheck. In my case, this vast new lucre will amount, over the entire year, to $288.

But let’s say you earn enough to matter. In theory, if you’re earning that much, you ought to be able to afford to spend two, three, four thousand bucks on anything your heart pleases. Two percent of my former, relatively modest salary, for example, would have put an extra $1,300 in my pocket—but in the palmy days when I earned a salary, that was less than I budgeted for the American Express card each month.

Several options present themselves:

1. Diddle it away. We’re told this will improve the economy, making us all richer and happier sometime in the gilded future.

2. Pay down debt, if you still have any after the past few years of our national frenzy to get out of debt. It would make sense, if this is your choice, to figure out how much the windfall will add to your paycheck and set your online bank account to automatically pay it to the creditor that holds your largest or your highest-interest debt.

3. Set it aside to buy a big-ticket item, thereby keeping yourself out of future debt. A couple thousand bucks would buy you a nice refrigerator or—yes! a MacBook! Here, too, the smart strategy would be to arrange an automatic transfer of the temporary raise from checking to savings.

4. Donate it to charity. With the de jure unemployment rate still hovering near 10 percent, the de facto rate around 20 percent, and thousands more Americans poised to be dispossessed of their homes in 2011, the civil thing to do would be to put the money where it can help someone else.

5. Save it for retirement. This is just a taste of what we can expect when the Republicans get back into office, which is likely to happen at the end of Obama’s present term. Continued raids on Social Security will kill it fast. If you’re under 65, you’re going to need this money when you find yourself too old to work.

Just now,  my investments are earning between 5 and 7 percent; let’s say that averages 6 percent. And let’s say you’re 35 and you earn enough to qualify for the full $2,136: by the time you’re 65, this year’s windfall will be worth $12,268. If you’re a couple both of whom earn six-figure salaries, you’ll have an extra $24,536 in the community property, assuming you’re still married after 30 years. Ah, the miracle of compounding interest!

If it were me, I’d figure charity begins at home. At the rate we’re going, a person in her 20s or 30s can expect never to see a nickel from Social Security. If you have a Roth IRA, this will be an easy way to fund it. Simply have your bank send the extra income straight to the Roth. Second-best: if you’re not maxing out your 401(k) or 403(b), have your employer increase your contribution from your paycheck. Otherwise, invest it in a brokerage account, also by automatic deposit.