Coffee heat rising

The ultimate frugalist’s candle

by

Aren’t these cool?

FakeCandles

Literally! Those candles are burning with a flame that doesn’t melt wax. Real candles: fake flames.

I found a lifetime supply of LED-driven fake tea candles at Costco for about 18 bucks. Thought I could put them in the front windows to make some sorta low-key Christmas decorations, but they’re not tall enough to be seen from the outside.

Lurking in the back of a closet, though, were some old pillar candles burned about halfway down. Idea: set the fake tea candle down inside the hollow pillar candle and stepped back a ways.

As long as you’re not looking down into the candle from the top, this lash-up looks alarmingly like a real candle with a real flame flickering down inside it. Perfect for a mantel or maybe a bookshelf.

Intrigued by the possibilities, I put one in a glass Kosta Boda tea light holder. The LED is a little dim for authenticity, unless the room is completely dark. Then I came up with the idea of setting it in a short French canning jar. Because the jar’s thick, curvy walls distort light, the thing looks amazingly like a real tea candle sitting in there! Perfect for the table on the back porch:

FakeCandleInAJar

In the dark, the camera doesn’t do justice to the effect, I’m afraid…

FakeJarredCandleInTheDark

Is that or is that not silly? Since Costco peddles a lifetime supply not only of fake tea lights but also of fake tea light batteries, what you get for your 18 dollah is rescued pillar candles that will last forever, or nearly so. And enough fake votive lights to experiment with every crazy mood lighting scheme you can dream up.

CostcoFakeCandles

You can buy fake LED tea lights online at Amazon.com, but I’m not seeing any quite like Costco’s, though some are rechargeable. The Amazon specimens all have a little fake flame sticking up like a leprechaun’s finger in the middle. The Costco set has quite a few with a fake wick set down inside the plastic (but waxy-feeling!) fake candle, which looks surprisingly realistic from a distance, especially when it’s tucked down inside a container.

Amazon has some wonderfully tacky versions, though: serious kitsch! Take, for example (please!), these marvelous underwater colored fake candles:

Amazing, huh? One admiring customer reported, “The LED lights are awesome. We put them inside fish bowls filled with marbles and water and they lasted the whole night.”

Lucky goldfish!

😀 🙄 😀

Best Guide to the Medicare Maze

by

If you or someone you’re close to is about to walk into the labyrinth that is Medicare, take a look at the December issue of Consumer Reports, now on the newstands. This month CR is running the best, clearest guide to Medicare I’ve seen to date.

Medicare’s rules are astonishingly complicated and booby-trapped with land mines. The government and a vast slew of vendors send you hundreds and hundreds of pages of information and sales pitches. As well-intentioned as most government writers are, the copy they pour out is verbose, involved, sometimes contradictory, and often impossible to figure out.

CR has boiled the entire mess down into two pages of do’s and don’ts. Their article explains why you should get signed up for Medicare before you turn 65, how Medicare Part B works and what will happen to you if you fail to sign  up in a timely way, how to avoid being screwed out of Medigap coverage—and why you really need it—and what the advantages and disadvantages are of Medicare and Medigap.

It’s crystal clear, easy to understand, and mercifully brief. This thing should be offprinted and sent to everyone who’s coming eligible for Medicare.

Hmh. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed Consumer Reports before I let the subscription lapse. Now that I’m feeling flush again (sort of…), maybe I’ll re-up. It’s a useful resource for the frugalist and the wily consumer. If you’d like to subscribe, you can click here to subscribe online at the same rate the magazine is offering on its blow-in cards. Come to think of it, those of us who are running monetized PF blogs ought to be able to write off the cost as a business expense.

🙂

It Never Rains but It…HAILS?

by
Hailstones
Half-melted hailstones

{sigh} I give up worrying about this stuff. What’s the point? Trying to get abreast of the money thing is like trying to exceed the speed of light: it violates a law of physics.

The AC guy was here for the seasonal maintenance visit. He says the recent hailstorm trashed the coils on the aged Goettl HVAC unit on the roof. Goettl went out of the manufacturing business several years ago, and so the parts are no  longer available. Therefore, says he, the unit will have to be replaced.

Cost? About $7,890.

Because the storm is regarded as a “natural disaster,” insurers are covering the damage without raising people’s rates (although you can be sure everyone in the state will see their premiums go up next year as a result of this). All very  nice…except that by way of saving some cash on the already phenomenal homeowner’s insurance premiums, I raised my deductible to $2,000.

This statement the guy gave me shows the $1,500 tax credit the government supposedly will pony up and suggests the power company may or may not rebate $250. Presumably The Hartford will deduct those amounts from whatever they’ll pay toward this thing. So…that hailstorm is going to cost me a minimum of two grand.

And you know it’s not gunna stop there.

The AC guy thinks there’s no roof damage, but The Hartford is sending a claims adjuster over to examine not only the HVAC unit but also the roofing. The deductible, I’m told, will only apply once if I have to also make a claim for the roof.

Meanwhile, no one has looked at the downtown house, which also was hailed mightily upon and also has a high deductible.

So much for any silly ideas I had about catching up financially, having a little breathing space, being able to pay the underwater mortgage’s premiums with my teaching salary. Damn!

I’ll have to dig into the very savings that were going to be used to stock my bank account with enough each month to pay the day-to-day bills. The money from my next three months’ salary will have to go to make that up. And that will not leave enough to cover the cost of next year’s mortgage payments out of the remainder of what I will earn by teaching in 2011.

LOL! Is there any question why my belly hurts and my blood pressure is high?

hail1

The law of physics?

You can’t win.

Veteran’s Day: Celebrate!

by

As Veteran’s Day comes our way, time to honor and pray for our troops in the way of danger. Last term, one of my best students re-upped to serve in Afghanistan. Last I saw of him, he was headed out the door to catch a plane. If there’s a God, may She keep them safe.

And, lest you’re young enough to wonder if America ever was involved in a just war, take some time to read this.

w00t! A Beautiful Bike!

by

Look what my friends in the choir gave me over the weekend!

(Click for an enlarged view)

My friends Joan and Lee offered me this beautiful purple bicycle, which happens to be exactly what I’ve been looking for and exactly what I can’t afford. These things cost something over $500 these days. They bought a pair of bikes about 16 or 18 years ago, because they were living in a nice house near the canal, which has been turned into a miles-long linear park with bike paths. They said they only used the bikes a half-dozen times or so, and then the things became garage sculptures.

Well! Can you imagine?

I took it over to my favorite bike shop, where they dusted it off and fitted it out with new tires, mega-puncture-proof innertubes, and a sort of bicycle Barcalounger for a seat. The bike guys much admired it. They were amazed that it was in such good condition. One of them said he used to sell that model, and that it looks brand-new.

Check out this little doodad I found:

It’s a little bell for binging at pedestrians so as not to catch them unawares when you come up behind them. Cool, eh?

I’ve been wanting a bike with gears for a long time, to make it possible to ride along the canal. The bike path goes under the roads, so that to get out from beneath the underpass you need at least three speeds. On my old beach cruiser, I have to get off and push the thing uphill out of the underpass, which isn’t much fun.

So! This will allow me to go for miles and miles. SDXB rides in from Glendale following the canal; it goes all the way through Scottsdale into Tempe.

Now I’ll be able to get the exercise that has been so direly lacking in my life the past few years. If there’s a blood pressure problem (it’s beginning to look less likely), a few hours of long-distance riding a week in addition to the daily dog-walking should take care of it. My friends may have given me more than a bicycle…they may be giving me several more years of healthy living!

Amazed Little Cassie

Thanks, Joan and Lee! ♥

Apple Turnover$

by

Yesterday afternoon while I was driving around I happened to pass by Outrageously Pricey Gourmet Grocery Store and heard the siren song of the bakery department…

Apple pies are calling,
Come to me,
Come to meeeee….

Who could resist?

Well… Truth is, I’m not crazy about sicky-sweet foods, though I do like apple turnovers, especially when they’re made with puff pastry. Once in the store, I’m eyeballing the turnovers and thinking, “That sticky-looking white frosting gunk they’ve drizzled on there looks like it’s mostly sugar. Ick!”

Still wanted a pastry; just not that pastry. As I was about to leave unsatisfied, I recalled that I used to make my own apple turnovers with frozen puff pastry and fresh apples. And they were pretty darned good. So! It was straight to the frozen food department, thence to produce, and then out past the checkstand for only $7. A package of frozen puff pastry shells and a couple of gala apples and I had stuff for not one, not two, not three, but six turnovers, for the price of one and a cup of coffee!

You can use the frozen pastry sheets, too. If you’re only cooking for one or two, though, the inchoate shells are convenient, because they let you defrost only enough for one or two servings. They’re incredibly easy.

You need:

frozen pastry shells or sheets
an apple
a few pecans, walnuts, pistachios, or almonds
sprinkle of nutmet, cinnamon, or both
turbinado sugar
flour

Preheat the oven to about 400 or 425 degrees.

Defrost as much frozen pastry as you need. One pastry shell rolled thin will make one good-sized turnover. Flour a clean cutting board and rub some of flour on a rolling pin.

Set the pastry shell (or small piece of pastry sheet) onto the floured board and roll it flat and thin, rotating the pastry dough a couple of times in the process.

Seed and cut up the apple (peel it if these are for guests). Break or chop the nuts into small pieces. Set some sliced or chopped apple and nuts in the center of the rolled-out piece of pastry. Sprinkle on a little nutmeg or cinnamon—or both, if you like. Fold the pastry over the filling and seal it around the edges by pressing the tines of a fork around the outside edge. Poke a few holes in the top with the fork, and set the turnover on a cookie sheet. Sprinkle the top with some crunch turbinado sugar.

Bake 15 or 20 minutes in a fast oven, until brown and delicious. And voilà! Apple turnovers, better than you can buy at the bakery, and cheaper!