Coffee heat rising

Bureaucracy redux

So I got up at 5:00 this morning to do a job I’ve been putting off: the community college district sent, to everyone who has applied for a job there, a notice that if you want to stay in the system you have to go back to the HR site and re-enter all the data you’d already uploaded. They’ve made some sort of change, and in doing so erased everyone’s data and required everyone to jump through their endless set of hoops again. This considerate move apparently comes to us courtesy of PeopleSoft, the bureaucracy’s bureaucracy. 

It took an hour and forty minutes to complete the needless, pointless chore. I quit early because the system would not allow me to upload the hideous, endless “CT” document: a form in which you have to enter every…single…college…course you have ever taken. Lower-division, upper-division, and graduate. D’you know how many courses you end up taking in pursuit of a Ph.D.????? This thing consumed over two hours the first time I did it, and I will be damned if I’m going to waste another two hours doing it all over again. 

In addition to typing each course number, course title, number of credits, semester, and year of every course you’ve ever taken in your life, you also have to turn in official transcripts, rendering the stupefyingly time-wasting list redundant. 

Maybe they’ve decided to give up on that stunt. Probably not, though: they still have the blank form posted for you to download. 

What excuse is there for PeopleSoft? Its metafunction evidently is demonstrate that employers do not give one thin damn about their workers: any company or institution that would offload HR and payroll tasks to an outfit that treats people this way cannot wish any good to its employees.

LOL! Someone once said that “bureaucracy exists to serve itself.” What on earth it’s serving remains to be seen!

Copyright © 2009 Funny about Money 

Buying a car? Watch out for rips

Speaking of the GM bankruptcy,  as individual dealerships crash and burn, some of them are taking customers with them. CBS MarketWatch reports that car dealers are failing to pay off loans on traded-in cars and often are not sending in payments for registration and taxes. This is usually not done with criminal intent but happens because the dealer’s creditors freeze its funds as its cash flow stops. Understandable, but it doesn’t change the fact that consumers are left holding the bag.

If you’re buying a car through a dealership, you need to be careful. A few things to consider:

• Don’t buy a car now unless you absolutely must. If the purchase is in any way optional, delay it until the chaos afflicting the industry settles out.

 If you still owe on your present car, sell it privately rather than trading it in. This will allow you to pay off the loan yourself. Also, private sales usually bring a better price than trade-ins.

 Try to get the dealer to let you send payments for the taxes, title, and registration yourself.

 Purchase only the most reliable vehicle brands, such as Honda and Toyota. There’s some question whether state lemon laws will apply after a dealer closes, making purchases of less reliable vehicles even riskier.

 Be aware that when a used car dealer buys new vehicles wholesale, the warranty starts running at the time the dealer buys the car, not at the time you buy it. Thus even though you’re the first owner, you’re still buying a “used” car without the full warranty.

If you’re buying used, consider spending a little extra to go through a private sale. This will at least assure that you can pay the taxes, registration, and title yourself.

What a pain! My Sienna is ten years old. I’d planned to trade it in this year, but with my job ending in December, obviously I can’t do that. I never pay for cars on time, but sure can’t afford to pay in cash now…or any time in the predictable future. As a practical matter, I may never be able to afford another car, certainly not new. My plan now is to drive the gas-guzzler for at least another five years; ten if it’ll last that long.

After that? Well…in five years, the light rail will come right past my neighborhood. Maybe I won’t need a car after this one gives up the ghost.

Copyright © 2009 Funny about Money 

Go figure!

Corvair: Unsafe at any speed   

Corvair: Unsafe at any speed

So…General Motors declares bankruptcy (!), and the stock market heads for heaven. The Dow reached 8760 and ended at 8721, better than it’s done in quite a while.

Dang! Let’s have every corporation in the land declare bankruptcy and see if we can’t push the Dow back to 14,000.

😉

Well, of course, this is far from the first time. Many times in the past, the Dow has shot up on news of some megacorp’s massive layoffs. But General Motors? Geez…it’s like it IS America.

Of course, I haven’t bought an American car since the last piece of junk that took up near-permanent residence at the repair shop. As a matter of fact, I believe that was a GM product: an Olds. Before that, there was the amazingly lemony 1967 Ford Fairlane—luckily, we lived within driving distance of the Ford dealership, so I could stroll to the shop, pony up another chunk of cash, go to the grocery store, have the car towed directly back to the shop, and carry the groceries home in my arms.

Dunno about you, but though I feel just terrible about all the Americans who are losing their jobs and all the American entrepreneurs who are losing a major customer, I can’t work up a lot of pity for GM itself. This is, after all, the outfit that brought us vehicles shown to be unsafe at any speed. Does anyone recall the rolling bomb called the Corvair? These are the people who told us Americans were not interested in safety, did not want seat belts, did not want better gas mileage, and were such fools for style that it didn’t MATTER that a new vehicle could be expected to start falling apart after three years, because no American worth his salt would keep a car longer than that. 

I personally got real tired of being insulted by GM’s leadership and put at risk by the company’s shoddy products. The first time I bought a Toyota—almost 40 years ago—marked the last time I wanted an American car.

Yep, I sure as hell did regret not being able to buy American. But never once have I ever regretted owning a Japanese car. I can’t say that for the Fords and Chevvies I’ve owned.

Darn it!

Copyright © 2009 Funny about Money 

Fight a-brewing over COBRA

Whatever it is, GDU makes it hard. And they use every electronic convenience that’s ever been invented to make it harder. Yesterday afternoon I discovered they’ve got a way to do people who are forced to take early retirement out of the reduced, marginally affordable rate for COBRA.

The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 mandates that employees who are canned involuntarily are to pay only 35 percent of the usual exorbitant COBRA premium; the remaining 65 percent is to be reimbursed to the employer by the government. Assuming the State of Arizona keeps its current healthcare plans at the next open enrollment (decidedly not a foregone conclusion!), my COBRA cost would drop from $488 a month to $171. This will make it affordable for me to continue my medical insurance coverage between December, when I’m to be thrown out on the street, and May, when I will be eligible for Medicare.

I wanted to confirm this. GDU’s HR page says nothing about the ARRA reduction. So I sent a message through HR’s faceless e-mail form asking what exactly the deal is with the reduced COBRA rates. They will not answer the telephone over there, so the only ways you can get an answer to a question are either to go in person to their office, which is far off-campus and requires you to move your car and park in a lot decaled off-limits to visitors, or to go through the e-mail form and wait about a month for an answer.

This is the same bunch, bear in mind, that told me if you are laid off, you’re not entitled to your RASL benefits, which for me amount to a severance package worth about $20,000. RASL is a program that pays retirees as much as 50 percent of their hourly wage for each hour of accumulated sick leave; the state GAO’s page is not accessible because it’s been posted in a program that Safari and Firefox can’t read. On the West campus, HR employees gave La Maya the same story. Turns out they were dispensing wrong information.

So finally, late last week ago along comes an e-mail from an HR underling, probably a student worker, referring me to the same HR page that contains not one word about the ARRA reduction for COBRA. So I responded to her form message and pointed out that there’s a new law providing a cut in COBRA costs but HR’s page says nothing about it. She didn’t have a clue.

Yesterday I get a snippy e-mail from someone else over there referring me to a State of Arizona web page. Notice that neither of these women so far has answered my basic question: what will the reduced premium on the EPO plan be? This is not hard, is it? Just confirm that the regular COBRA premium is $488/month and that ARRA applies. They don’t want to talk to you. They just want to send you through punch-a-button phone mazes or to the Internet.

So, while I’m navigating their incredibly complicated and only marginally comprehensible site, what do I come upon but this statement, hidden in a link under the FAQs, which appear at the bottom of the page:

Are retirees eligible for premium assistance?
No, retirees are not eligible for premium assistance. Former employees eligible for retirement should consider how delaying pension benefits (for the purpose of being eligible for premium assistance) would impact their participation in the Retiree Accumulated Sick Leave (RASL) Program.

Say WHAT?!?

To get the reduced COBRA, you have to forego your retirement benefits and evidently lose your chance to collect your RASL benefit!!!!!  (Understand: You have 14 days after your last day to claim your RASL. Fail to collect promptly, and you lose it.)

Of course, I came across this about 9:00 at night. So this morning as soon as state offices open, I’m going to have to get on the phone to the few people I’ve found downtown who will actually speak to you. There’s a woman at the General Accounting Office who hates GDU’s HR circus and who will give you a straight answer. I also have to drive my car out to Tempe, instead of taking the train, because I’ll have to go in person to HR and make an appointment to join one of the pending retirees’ classes so I can ask about this there.

It gets better! 

Continuing to explore the Internet, I went to the Department of Labor, where I found a link to an Internal Revenue Service document on the subject of COBRA premium assistance. Way, way down in this memo, on page 19, this interesting statement occurs:

The effect on eligibility for the premium reduction of an offer of retiree coverage that is not COBRA continuation coverage at the same time that COBRA continuation coverage is offered depends on whether the retiree coverage is offered under the same group health plan as the COBRA continuation coverage or under a different group health plan. If offered under the same group health plan, the offer of the retiree coverage has no effect on an individual’s eligibility for the ARRA premium reduction.

The State’s retiree health plans are exactly the same as the ones offered to employees. The cost to retirees is the same as the full cost of COBRA: exorbitant and unaffordable. 

So, apparently, the State of Arizona’s policy on the COBRA relief directly contradicts federal rules. No doubt they’ll have some way to to claim the four identical healthcare insurance plans are magically “different” because they’re offered to retirees.

Unless this is straightened out between now and December, I’m going to have to do battle over that. The feds have an appeal process for those who are denied:

ARRA provides an individual who requests and is denied treatment as an assistance eligible individual with the right to a review of the denial, within 15 business days after the receipt of the application for review, by the Department of Labor (or the Department of Health and Human Services in connection with COBRA continuation coverage that is provided other than pursuant to ERISA).

No clue in this document, of course, as to where you go to lodge such a protest. So it promises to devolve into a great hassle.

If I have to pay the full COBRA gouge, it will cost me $2,500 to stay insured for the five months from the time I leave state service to the time I’m eligible for Medicare. That’s almost a full month’s salary! I’m setting that much aside from emergency savings, but jayzus! How do they expect people to eat?

And notice how complicated it was to find information that hints the State’s policy is wrong! The whole idea is to make it as difficult as possible to get the facts by blitzing you with tons of boilerplate that looks like it’s telling you something but that does not answer specific questions and then by refusing to respond to real-world questions either over the phone or by e-mail. Most people would have given up before they came across that IRS document, and precious few would have plowed through 19 pages of bureaucratese to find the relevant statement about retiree health plans. I didn’t do so, myself: I found it by using the Mac’s Searchlight function to track down the character chain “retire.” Even that took some doing, since “retire” appears 14 times in the document. I’d venture that not  many workers nearing retirement age would know to do that—especially not those in low-paying jobs that don’t require computer skills, the very workers who most need the COBRA reduction.

Why do you suppose GDU and the State of Arizona want to avoid letting employees know about the ARRA reduction of COBRA premiums? In theory, it’s no skin off their teeth: the federal government reimburses employers for the 65 percent reduction. It may be just flaming incompetence. Or it could reflect the leadership’s doctrinaire right-wing dementia, which holds that anything having to do with government in any way is bad news and that workers should be made to work for the lowest wages and the fewest benefits possible. 

Whatever the reason, it looks like I’ll be spending the first few weeks or months of my enforced retirement in a battle royal with GDU and the State of Arizona. Wheeee! I can hardly wait.

Copyright © 2009 Funny about Money 

Ikea break!

M’hijito called early this afternoon to ask if I’d like to drive with him to the far side of the galaxy, for the purpose of visiting Ikea. The real, ulterior motive was to get my car, not me, to go with him: I have a van; he drives a rickety, out-of-production Toyota sportsoid car.

Couldn’t have called at a better moment. About forty-five minutes earlier, I had somehow managed to hit exactly the right mystery keyboard command to screw up six hours’ worth of work on the Carnival of Personal Finance. 

To start with, as usual the thing is about the size of the Andromeda galaxy. Then I got this bright idea about all these photos that oooooohhhh yes, I just had to download and plug into the post. Each of these dorked up spacing here and there, which had to be fixed by trial and error, because in WordPress WYSINQWYG (What You See Is Not Quite What You Get). After hours of lovingly fiddling around, I sat back and sighed: a true work of art! It was gorgeous. It was beautiful. It was freaking perfect!

Then…damndamndamn!…my fingers slipped on the keyboard. I have no idea what set of keys I hit, but it was at least four of them. The image on the monitor jumped, jiggled, did a little belly-dance…and settled into something that looked kinda strange.

Whatever th’heck I did, it 

• deleted every hard and soft return after every single unwrapped line;
• deleted the last image I’d entered, which I’d placed three from the end;
 undid the reformatting I’d done to the three images following the now-disappeared image;
• returned the red coloring on the little Editor’s Favorites heart symbols to black;
• undid the formatting I’d carefully instilled to force several entries to wrap around other images without looking stupid; AND…
• saved the result! 

Gaaaaaahhh!!!!!

Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z

And Hal: stop calling me “Dave”!

Well, no amount of Ctrl-Zing would restore the disappeared formatting and data. So I had to do all that over…it took about two hours.

If it had crashed the file after performing its reformatting antics, that would have been fine—I had saved just seconds before. Resuscitation from an unsaved version would have been a lot easier. Thought I wuz gunna die!

So all this made a junket to a crowded, crazy-making box store full of cut-rate merchandise sound good. 

M’hijito has been needing a bed, some bookshelves for his office, and a little table for beside the bed for lo! these past two or three years. He finally gave up on saving up enough to buy the Danish furniture he craves—on sale, it was over $3,000. That’s more than he wants to spend, under the best of conditions, when a) he wants to go to graduate school and b) he needs to preserve savings to maintain the albatross of a house his mother got him into. So, despite having resolved never to allow another stick of Ikea furniture into his home, he caved.

He did pretty well, IMHO: For $500, he scored a decent-looking platform bed, a matching side table, a seven-foot bookcase, a child’s low-to-the-ground table to hold the gigantic printer his father gave him, a colander, some CFLs, a couple of rugs, and a few other small kitchen items. 

So that brightened the day. The Carnival is now ready to go up tomorrow morning…it won’t, of course, because WP thinks 03:06 May 31, when it’s really 19:06. So I’ll have to fiddle with it whenever I get out of bed on June 1, if I live that long. Having been up since 3:00 a.m. and having worked or trudged around Ikea every single minute since then, I intend to drug myself with antihistamines by way of trying to sleep until dawn.

Which reminds me: I forgot the laundry in the dryer and I haven’t washed the sheets yet. And so…to work.

Copyright © 2009 Funny about Money 

Panzanella: Use-it-up Italian comfort food

The middle of last week, I noticed I had several ends of bread loafs languishing (but not yet moldy) in the back of the fridge, and on the countertop a bunch of overheated tomatoes threatening to spoil. What to do with this stuff to avoid (gasp!) throwing out food? Simple: panzanella.

La mise en place

Panzanella is a kind of savory bread pudding or salad, a peasant dish whose nutritional value depends on what you put in it, just as pasta dishes do. The result is not as pretty as spaghetti or some elegantly turned out pasta shape, but it sure tastes good. And it’s an easy way to use up food that might otherwise go to waste.

The basic principle: take stale Italian-style (or any other style…) bread, tear it up, toss it with chopped tomatoes, herbs, onion, and garlic, add a little vinaigrette dressing, and enjoy. If you think of the bread as sort of like pasta, you realize you can add just about anything you please. Here’s how I made this week’s version:

You need:

• stale bread (keep leftovers and heels in the fridge until you have about a loaf’s worth)
 ripe tomatoes
• herbs (ideally fresh), such as parsley, thyme, tarragon, summer savory, basil, rosemary
• water
• wine vinegar or lemon juice
• garlic
 onion (red onion or little green onions)
• olive oil
 salt & pepper to taste
• a nice bowl to fit all this stuff 

Run the bread under the kitchen tap to wet it pretty well. Let it sit for a few minutes, and then squeeze out the water over the kitchen sink. Cut the dampened bread into cubes and place in a bowl. 

Chop the tomatoes and add to the bread. Toss these around. If you’re using a sweet red onion, chop about half of it fairly finely—it doesn’t have to be minced, but unless you’re crazy about onion probably should be cut into pretty small pieces. Mince the garlic. Chop up whatever fresh herbs you have on hand, or use some dried herbs (a teaspoon to a tablespoon each, less for stronger flavored herbs). Mix all these with the bread and tomatoes. 

Now toss in a little vinaigrette. Add to the bread-veggie-herb mixture a tablespoon of wine vinegar or lemon juice and three tablespoons of olive oil. If you have a lot of bread & veggies, increase the dressing proportionately: remember, three parts oil to one part tart stuff.

Toss the whole thing well. Season to taste with salt and pepper. If you’re hungry, start eating. Otherwise, you can let it rest in the fridge for a while: the bread seems to like soaking up the juices and flavors.

You can add all sorts of other goodies, as desired: various veggies (chopped cauliflower? broccoli? carrots? radishes? celery? finely sliced spinach or chard?), a little anchovy, some cooked shrimp, a sprinkling of cheese. Just think of it as homely pasta and proceed accordingly.

 

Lunchtime!

Copyright © 2009 Funny about Money