Coffee heat rising

So…you thought YOU were having a bad hair day?

There you are, driving along one of the mainest of the main drags in the fifth-largest metropolis in the nation. You get into the left turn lane of the Vast Main Drag A so as to turn south onto Vast Main Drag B, you pull into the intersection preparatory to making your turn, and….your car bursts into flames!

Soon all the employees of the nearby bank and the various grocery stores, expensive boutiques, insurance  and financial offices, and local corporate headaquarters are standing on the sidewalks watching your car self-immolate.

The Fire Department comes roaring up and stops traffic in all four directions. Now scores of homicidal drivers are cursing your name (if they don’t know your name, they make it up). Collective eons of time are wasted. Your insurance adjuster no doubt thinks you are…well, just another pain in the tuchus.

{sigh}

Luckily for me, as I was approaching said intersection minutes after the Bad Hair Day Victim’s car decided to destroy itself, I managed to dodge into the bank’s parking lot, maneuver my way onto the perpendicular main drag, and make my way across Vast Main Drag A (now conveniently brought to a halt) into the parking lot of Ridiculously Overpriced Gourmet Grocery Store, the purveyor of the sushi I wished to carry out for lunch. This would be the “it’s all about me” response. In reality I felt very bad for the poor soul whose car was melting down in the middle of the intersection.

Sushi packed away in the Dog Chariot, it was back to the Road Home.

Do I get home without incident?

Hell, no. At the intersection of Ordinary Main Drag A and Ordinary Main Drag B, what do I find but a chain wreck—at least four cars involved, two of which are totaled. Another road is completely shut down. Again, I manage to dodge around the closed road and continue on my way. Otherwise, presumably the sushi (and I) would still be cooking in the 90-degree  heat.

Holy mackerel! Just when you get yourself wound up about every GD light turning red as you drive up to it, you’re snapped back to reality, here on the homicidal streets of Phoenix.

Image: Ben Schumin, Aftermath of a Car Fire in Silver Spring, Md. Creative CommonsAttribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

2 thoughts on “So…you thought YOU were having a bad hair day?”

  1. Every time I run into a road-snag I remind myself to be thankful that I am not involved in the cause. Unfortunately, I was involved in the cause a few days ago. Now I’m just thankful to be alive.

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