The ultimate frugalist’s candle

Aren’t these cool?

Literally! Those candles are burning with a flame that doesn’t melt wax. Real candles: fake flames.

I found a lifetime supply of LED-driven fake tea candles at Costco for about 18 bucks. Thought I could put them in the front windows to make some sorta low-key Christmas decorations, but they’re not tall enough to be seen from the outside.

Lurking in the back of a closet, though, were some old pillar candles burned about halfway down. Idea: set the fake tea candle down inside the hollow pillar candle and stepped back a ways.

As long as you’re not looking down into the candle from the top, this lash-up looks alarmingly like a real candle with a real flame flickering down inside it. Perfect for a mantel or maybe a bookshelf.

Intrigued by the possibilities, I put one in a glass Kosta Boda tea light holder. The LED is a little dim for authenticity, unless the room is completely dark. Then I came up with the idea of setting it in a short French canning jar. Because the jar’s thick, curvy walls distort light, the thing looks amazingly like a real tea candle sitting in there! Perfect for the table on the back porch:

In the dark, the camera doesn’t do justice to the effect, I’m afraid…

Is that or is that not silly? Since Costco peddles a lifetime supply not only of fake tea lights but also of fake tea light batteries, what you get for your 18 dollah is rescued pillar candles that will last forever, or nearly so. And enough fake votive lights to experiment with every crazy mood lighting scheme you can dream up.

You can buy fake LED tea lights online at Amazon.com, but I’m not seeing any quite like Costco’s, though some are rechargeable. The Amazon specimens all have a little fake flame sticking up like a leprechaun’s finger in the middle. The Costco set has quite a few with a fake wick set down inside the plastic (but waxy-feeling!) fake candle, which looks surprisingly realistic from a distance, especially when it’s tucked down inside a container.

Amazon has some wonderfully tacky versions, though: serious kitsch! Take, for example (please!), these marvelous underwater colored fake candles:

Amazing, huh? One admiring customer reported, “The LED lights are awesome. We put them inside fish bowls filled with marbles and water and they lasted the whole night.”

Lucky goldfish!

😀 🙄 😀