Couple days ago, I was startled to wake up and find a long, transverse rip up the middle of the bottom sheet on my queen-sized bed.
Day-UM! Those things are expensive! And this is not the time that I can afford to drop another hundred bucks or so on a new set of sheets.
Whoa! Make that $150 to $290. Holy sheet!
Fortunately, I have two extra sets of sheets, so there’s no hurry to run out and drop another wad of dough. Still… Those of you who can remember Back in the Day: can you ever recall a real, made-in-America cotton percale sheet just FALLING APART ON THE BED? That is freaking amazing.
Now I’ll admit, these sheets are not brand-new. But they’re not ante-Diluvian, either. And they’re not total junk. I’ve been buying sheets at Costco for the past couple of decades, because they seem serviceable and reasonably well made, as products available on the general consumer market go. I’ve also bought Target sheets. But these are not from Target.
The Target sheets did fall apart, but not by simply wearing through in the middle — they were a shade too small for the annoying new extra-thick mattresses, and so eventually the fitted-sheet “pockets” ripped. Those can be mended, though. A flat sheet with a tear up the center cannot be mended.
The pillowcases on one of the remaining two sets developed strange little holes in them. I thought maybe I forgot to pull a hair clip out before collapsing in exhaustion, but…that doesn’t really seem likely. Nothing will keep you awake more efficiently than a hair clip poking you in the head. I was able to fix those holes by embroidering flowers over them — primitive renditions of flowers, because it was mighty tricky to fill in a quarter-inch-wide hole, but good enough to get a few more months of wear out of them.
And…have you noticed how poorly the pillowcases are made? On one pair I got from Costco, the seams are sewed crooked, so they don’t fit the pillow straight. That’s annoying, but since no one but a couple of dogs shares the bed with me, I just ignore it. On another set, the fabric is fraying through at the seams! Which is weird, because no friction has ever been applied to the seams of the damn pillowcases. They’re just effing falling apart.
I’m thinking about going back to a department store to buy new sheets, that being where I used to buy immortal bedding. But my god: Macy’s is having a close-out on Martha Stewart sheets for 60 bucks PER SHEET, and they’re that icky “sateen” stuff. I do not like sheets that have been chemically treated to feel “soft” — the word I’d use for the feel is “oily.” Is there some REASON we can’t have plain, ordinary, crisp percale cotton sheets? How hard is this?
“Hotel Collection” sheets — a pretty good brand, I’ve found — are $95 a sheet at Macy. The “extra-deep” queen fitted sheet is $117, “marked down” (har har!) from $170. That’s obscene.
Dullard’s sheets seem to be a little cheaper, but their website hangs when you try to get a good look at the offerings. Hm. What are they trying to say to us? Hmmm… $160 for a 450-thread-count set. That’s overkill, really: you do not need a 450 thread count sheet. Most people can’t tell the difference once you reach 300 count.
Welp. Dullard’s price is no worse than Costco’s. I wonder if the quality is any better?
Probably not. The things are all made in China. Ugh!
Have you found a vendor that’s selling sheets made of real, un-gummed-up 100% cotton that don’t fall apart and don’t warp the pillowcases into a funny shape?