Coffee heat rising

Pool Dude: MIA

hmmmmm…. It’s 9 o’clock in the morning…

Got the right day?

Yep: it is Monday.

Pool dude is usually here and gone long  before this. If he’s been around, I sure haven’t seen him.

And if he had been around while I was here, Ruby would have alerted me. She is hopelessly in love with the man. Not only does she fly into a frenzy of joy when she sees him, but…she knows what day of the week it is.  And in the Canine Calendar, today is definitely Pool Dude Day.

How on earth that’s possible, I cannot imagine. But on Monday mornings, she’s standing by the glass sliding doors watching. And watching. And watching…waiting for the mysteriously beloved Pool Dude.

Most optimistic hope is that he had car trouble, or that some major hassle arose at an earlier customer’s place. But…I tried to call him earlier this week to ask about a question that arose, and got no answer. Left word on his machine: no call-back.

I take these developments as bad signs. Though he’s been reliable all these many weeks that he’s been working for me, at one point in the course of a conversation he did make some remarks that revealed he has a prison record.

That in itself is not enough to put me off. In fact, it explains why he’s trying to make a living in rather low-skill self-employment, since he seems to be a smart and self-sufficient kinda guy.

But the problem is, if he got busted for something — anything, no matter how minor — that will make big, BIG trouble for him. He may be in jail or under some kind of house arrest.

If that’s the case, pretty clearly it’s the end of his pool maintenance business.

And that makes his problem my problem…  Because he’s been doing an awe-inspiring job on the damn pool! The water is crystal clear and the system is running beautifully. That thing has never looked better or been cleaner, not since I’ve lived here.

The remains of three pool tabs were in the chlorine floater. So…well…in this heat, you wouldn’t THINK they’d last a whole week. But that would mean he must have shown up on some other day. I haven’t seen him…but anything’s possible.

I tried to phone him a few days ago: no answer. Left word on his voicemail: no return call.

Not. A. Good. Sign.

Welp. If Pool Dude has flaked out on us — and since nothing lasts forever, that’s surely a possibility — I’ll have to find a new guy ASAP. In this heat, that water can turn green overnight.

So, drat!  The pool is running fine right now, and should continue so for a week or ten days. But I don’t seem to have the required skill to keep it running clear and shiny.

While I’m traipsing around the city, then, I guess I’ll need to go by the Leslie’s Pool store in Sunnyslop — the best branch of that outfit I’ve found so far — and ask if they can recommend any customers who are in the pool maintenance business.

However…I fear Leslie’s itself does that, which means they’re not going to refer the competition to me. So THAT means I’ll have to put out yet another notice on the neighborhood Facebook page, begging for leads.

****

O Gawd! the guy at the credit union couldn’t get me into my bank account. He told me to go home and call thus-and-such an annoying number.

It’s 108 in the shade, with thunderheads building up to the north.

How can I COUNT the ways I don’t feel like getting on the phone to the CU’s representative?

Wait…how can I count the ways I ain’t a-gunna do it?

Stopped at the Sprouts next to the campus on the way home. Snabbed a package of lamb chops, a package of beef steak thingies. Fresh asparagus. Box of fresh bright-green spinach w/ which to make a salad. Fresh corn on the cob. Fresh bottle of cheap wine.

SCREW COMMERCE! By damn. I’m a-gunna eat myself stupid and then fall face-first into the sack.

The heat and the humidity defy belief. This feels like the shore of the endlessly effing Persian Gulf…which is another way to say you feel like you’re swimming through the air.

The last time I can remember this kind of heat, they shut down Sky Harbor because the jet airplanes couldn’t get enough lift from the hot air to take off safely. Or at all.

Colonel, the Great Dane, and the Little Boy

Did I ever tell this story here? Don’t recall…so am gonna self-plagiarize from today’s Quora post:

****

Q: Do German shepherds make good guard dogs for homes and families with children?

Ohhhhh my goodness. If you have to ask this question, you’ve never known a GerShep. Lemme tellya:

First off, Greta the German shepherd, a mellow and laid-back beast who came to live with us after her humans divorced, saved my son from serious injury and probably permanent disability or even death. Long story short, we were ambling up the sidewalk with a neighbor’s 90-pound pooch, the not-very-redoubtable Colonel.

Colonel was leading the way, about 15 or 20 feet ahead of me, with my two-year-old son toddling along after him holding onto his tail. (Yes: Colonel was extremely mellow.) I was ambling along after Colonel, and Greta was bringing up the rear, sniffing the flowers as she ambled even more slowly.

The house on the corner had a wall around the backyard that extended up the side of the lot, running parallel to the sidewalk along the street, approaching us at right angles. In other words, our party is coming up a corner: a house and a wall are blocking our view of anything or anyone approaching us from our left.

All of a sudden, out from behind this wall comes a nubile young woman jogging up the street behind a great Dane, which she has on a leash.

When the kid sees the Dane, the likes of which he has never gazed upon in his short lifetime, he explodes in joy and excitement. He goes QUEEEEKEEEE QUEEEEKEEE QUEEEEKEEE!! at the top of his little-kid voice, drops Colonel’s tail, and runs straight at the enormous dog.

The Dane — quite reasonably, in the doggish context — sees this as an attack on its human. It lunges to her defense and RIGHT NOW has his head inside its maw.

I run after him — I’m a good 20 feet behind him and Colonel.

Colonel runs off in terror.

I lunge to try to catch him. Get my fingers on his little shirt, but he manages to jerk away before I get a good grip and continues to charge the Dane…right into the dog’s fangs.

Holeee ess-aitch-ai!!! At this point I think my baby is dead! if he isn’t killed, he might as well be!

And then a streak appears at my right side, about waist-high.

It’s Greta. And she’s airborne!

She literally flies up the sidewalk beside me and launches herself straight onto the Dane, which is half-again as big as she is.

The Dane’s human struggles and then dodges out of way as the two beasts tumble to the ground, fighting.

I grab my kid and pull him out from under the two falling dogs.

Now the Dane has Greta down, and I think omigod, this is IT for Greta.

All of a sudden, just as the animal is going for Greta’s throat, if collapses.

No kidding: it falls to the pavement, unconscious.

WTF?

The young woman has hauled on its leash so hard, it choked off the dog’s air and the beast passed out, falling right on top of Greta.

Greta gets up and repairs to my side. Colonel is nowhere to be seen. My son is still on his feet, incredibly enough.

Just about speechless, I choke out “I’m so sorry!!!”

She says — no kidding, these ARE her words:  “That’s all right. It happens all the time.”

{gasp!}

Greta put her life on the line for that little boy. And it wasn’t the last time she put herself between her humans and very serious harm.

 

When the Gods Are On Your Side….

Or playing a practical joke…  That’s possible, too. We’ll know soon enough.

Doorbell rings as I sit here loafing. Ruby goes dog-bonkers. Now what?

I haul myself upright, stumble to the front door, fling open the inside door…and… HOleee mackerel!

There stands THE single most GORGEOUS young man I have ever seen.

No exaggeration. The creature is beyond handsome.

Normally I’d tell a solicitor to walk on, walk on… Not this one, though!

Incredibly, he’s peddling something that I need seriously and soon:  roach and rat treatment.

Lordie! When, dear God, did you decide to be on my side?

Well, let’s hope this is not some kind of cosmic joke.

The monthly service he’s selling is reasonably priced, and he offered a pretend discount, cinching the more-or-less affordable market rate.

The rats and the roaches are not going away. Even though I did catch Rattie in a trap the other day, all the other traps have remained untouched (rats being no fools after all). And as for the sewer roaches…well…there’s not a lot the locals can do unless the city can be prevailed upon to come around and treat the sewers that flow under our sidewalks. We used to get that service, but the city seems to have quit it. Possibly lobbied away by the bug companies that want individual citizens to pay them royally. Kill off the roaches: kill of their business.

I do have to say that combined, the roach issue and the rat issue are getting a bit beyond the pale. I’d already decided to hire an exterminator…but when this spectacular being showed up at the door, it was ACCOUNT SOLD!

Seriously, I’ve been thinking I need to give up and hire a service. We used to have a bug service in our first house in downtown Phoenix. There — the Encanto district — the stately 50-year-old houses tended to be infested with termites. And really, everybody had a termite service. We eventually canceled because the bug spray made the cats sick…and it was beginning to make me sick, too. And yeah…when we went to sell the shack, lo and behold! Termite damage.

The Funny Farm, at least, is built on a concrete foundation. Our house downtown had a wooden crawl space…deeee-lishus! But nevertheless, the attic is framed in wood, and I believe the plasterboard walls have wood framing inside. And as for the roaches…Helle’s belles! They don’t care what your house is made of.

Anyway…dunno where the termite company found that spectacular young man. But they couldn’t have picked a better representative!

😀

EEEK!

Here we are at 7:30 p.m.  The sun has been down for awhile.

Just let Ruby outside to wring her out after her evening feast. Glanced at the thermometer.

Holeee shee-ut! It’s 110 out there!

Yes. That’s 110 in a spot where no direct sunlight ever hits, sheltered by fronds of ficus leaves. At 7:30 at night. Sunset was officially at 7:31, but it’s been dusky out there for awhile.

The hound and I have been hunkered indoors since we got back from the dawn doggy-walk. She can’t walk around on the pavement — especially not asphalt — in this kind of heat. I stepped out on the back porch barefooted just now…and the soles of my feet hurt! Because I go barefoot a lot — all the time that I’m not out in public — my feet are seriously calloused. Imagine if I were a nice girlie-girl who wore proper shoes most of the time!

Eeek, I say…

 

Summertime, and the Livin’ Is…

…annoying…

Fish are jumpin’,
’cause they’re boiling in their pond

Oh your mama’s rich,
And you’re daddy’s…uhm…good-lookin’
So hush, little baby,
Don’t you fricasee…

Summer has done come in! The heat here in lovely uptown Phoenix defies belief…but that’s normal. As a practical matter, though, it feels hotter than the 110 degrees we see on the back-porch thermometer, because it’s getting humid.

This time of year — a little later normally, as a practical matter — is our rainy season. So-called “monsoon” storms blow in from the Gulf of Mexico, usually producing thunderstorms and rain in the late afternoon and evening.

So far we haven’t seen any rain. But we have seen (or rather, felt) the usual accompanying humidity. This morning’s doggy-walk was sweltering and muggy — that was at 5:30 a.m. Now, at 6:00 p.m. and after a full day of blistering sun it’s hotter than the hubs out there.

The pool isn’t much good for keeping cool: it feels like a hot bathtub just now! Seriously: I like a fairly HOT bath…and when I got in pool this morning, the water literally was as warm as my typical bath. Wow!

Meanwhile, forests are burning down. A big fire is holding forth up near Payson, where Mr. and Mrs. Fireman moved after they sold their palace in the West Valley. State Route 87 is the road up the hill to Payson, a forested little burg habituated by retirees and ranchers.

In-Effing-Credible….

Whatever you want, whatever you need, whatever you have to do, it HAS to be the hard way!

LOL!

This morning I wanted to run by the grocery store to pick up an extension cord for the laptop and, while I was at it, replenish the pantry a bit. Visits to two huge supermarkets yielded NO extension cord. But I did find one at the neighborhood Albertson’s, my very least favorite place to shop because of the shady adventures in the parking lot. I head for the check-out with that and a bottle of cheap white…and am told…

Nope.

No. No, I cannot buy a bottle of wine.

Why? Because it’s Sunday morning. In Arizona, it’s illegal to sell alcoholic beverages of any kind before noon on Sunday. Holy holy holeeeeee….

Shee-ut!!! I’d forgotten about that!

Furious, I walked out and left the other stuff I’d intended to buy — admittedly not much, but if I have to go to some other store or shop at some other time, why should I stand in line at a cash register twice?

Aren’t you happy, don’t you feel privileged to have sanctimonious Kris-tee-anns looking out for your morals?

It’s 11:34 now. In another 20 minutes, I’ll set out for AJ’s, where I’druther fork over my money, if fork over I must. The only reason I didn’t drive down there this morning was that I do not feel like shopping and I just wanted to get the damned errand-running over with.

In another fine snafu, apparently American Express never received this month’s payment. Got a threatening collection letter from them.

Called. They have THE best customer service people! Talked at length with a sweetie-pie who has an exotic accent. Got that straightened out. They’re forgiving the late charge; first thing tomorrow morning I will head over to the credit union and get that bill paid electronically.

I still haven’t seen the bill. Don’t see it anywhere around the Funny Farm. Probably it got delivered to the neighbor who got SDXB’s house when the City bought it and gave to them (yes: FREE!) after the new airport runway displaced them. That address has the same street number, but a one-word difference in the streets’ name — like Neighborhood Lane vs. Neighborhood Road. Stuff is misdelivered all the time. I have to mark on orders from Amazon “ROAD, please, not Lane!” Otherwise, they take stuff to her and I never see it.

Bein’ from a totally different socioeconomic world, she and her family don’t forward misdelivered packages or mail. If it’s mail, they just throw it in the trash. If it’s a package, they apparently keep it for themselves.

Interesting how customs differ, even within a given country.

Welp…in another 20 minutes, God will allow me to buy a bottle of dinner wine. So I might as well get started traipsing down to AJ’s.