Coffee heat rising

A Few Twinkles of Hope in the Money Department

…or is it “all that glisters is not gold?” Not sure, but lately we’ve seen some hopeful signs that The Copyeditor’s Desk, the little editorial business my associate editor and I started together when we were canned from the Great Desert University, just might manage to make enough to support one or (preferably) both of us. Whence this shining image? And is it a mirage?

Well, first off, we decided that we needed to seek a different kind of clientele. We’d been networking with local publishers and authors. Nothing wrong with that, except that Arizona, renowned as a cultural backwater, is about as far from a hub of the publishing industry as you can get, this side of the Sahara desert. With a few notable exceptions (such as Pearson, Poisoned Pen Press, and the University of Arizona Press), publishing companies here tend to be DIY operations staffed by a Would-Be Author with a desktop computer, whose raison d’être is to print and, with any luck, sell a few copies of the W.B.A.’s magnum opus. To the extent that these entrepreneurs recognize their need for an editor, they’re willing to pay just a shade more than minimum wage. They’re running on a shoestring themselves, and they expect to get shoestring contractors. A number of vanity presses serve those who aren’t quite techie enough or just don’t want to invest the time to create camera-ready or Kindle-ready copy; these outfits, too, expect the hired help to earn less than a good cleaning lady commands.

Much of the material we saw from this set would be unpublishable in the mainstream market because it tends to the woo-woo: full of theories about space aliens, strange diets, and life on the other side of the veil. A great deal of it is painful to read.

Late last year we realized that other kinds of businesses—the client in hand was a plumbing and HVAC company—would actually pay a living wage. In fact, they expect to pay a living wage. And by that, they mean about six times what we’ve been charging.

If you offer to contract to these folks for the wages we’ve been asking, they think you’re an amateur. However, if you ask for $60 an hour—a number that looks stratospheric in our limited view—they don’t even blink.

As a matter of fact, if you take time to do some fairly extensive research on what people like us earn, you discover that sixty bucks an hour is on the low side. That is to say…what we think is an extravagant figure is actually competitive.

So, lately we’ve been seeking business clients, and we’ve been practicing the art of uttering “sixty dollars an hour” with a straight face.

And y’know what? It’s working!

In the past two months, we’ve landed four clients who hardly even gagged when we said the magic words. For one academic, we agreed to drop the fee to $45,  knowing what it means to be a tenure-seeking academic. For the others, we’ve acted like we believed what we were saying. In two months, we will gross more than half what we normally make in an entire year. And the content of what we’re reading is great: working documents for two excellent nonprofits, a new book for a handsomely published up-and-coming author, and an interesting academic study that’s already been accepted for publication.

Not a word of woo-woo among these folks.

Next, we’re taking some steps to encourage a steady flow of this kind of work. We hope. We’ve applied for a two-year business development program called AAAME, backed by the Small Business Association and Arizona Public Service, a large regional utility. You get mentoring, workshops, and project-based training with an emphasis on marketing (exactly what we need the most!), with regular meetings and opportunities to meet hordes of business owners and community leaders who could use our services. And amazingly, it’s free.

No guarantee that we’ll get accepted, of course—only about a dozen small businesses make the cut every couple of years. However, just writing a new, more formal business plan has already generated a few insights. We’ve begun to build a database of contacts and created a newsletter, the first issue of which we distributed to 57 past clients and current friends. I have a vague idea about how to market…what’s needed is some understanding of how to apply it to finding our client base and selling our service to it.

At any rate, just in the past month and a half, The Copyeditor’s Desk has found enough paying work to free me from teaching not one but two classes.

I came up with a spreadsheet to express our revenue goals for the next two years. If I earned $15,000, it would replace my teaching income with something to spare. Twenty grand would not only spring me free of the classroom but pay all the bills, and a similar drawdown would free Tina from waiting tables, allowing us both to earn our living at what we do best. Twice that much, and we’d both be living like queens. Why? Because I have about $12,000 worth of Social Security coming in, and Tina earns significantly more than that as managing editor of a large scholarly journal.

Interestingly, even two salaries of $40,000 plus enough to cover overhead would not require us to generate an unreasonable number of billable hours. At least, I think not: truth to tell, I don’t yet know what to expect as “reasonable.”

For each set of projected goals over the next two years, I calculated a bare minimum we would need to earn, what I think is probably within reason, and a figure that would make us do a wild dance of joy. Check out the Year 2 figures:

The amazing thing about this is the number of hours we would (or rather, wouldn’t) have to work to meet the goals. To earn enough to pay ourselves $40,000, between us we would only have to bill about 29 hours a week. You see…that’s 15 hours of work apiece. Assuming, of course, that we can get our $60/hour rate—which apparently we can.

Presumably work will not come in steadily. Right now it never rains but it pours, and we have no reason to think that will change. So I asked how many weeks we would have to work in year 2 to meet our revenue goals.

Welp, even if we’re still dorking around in classrooms and restaurants, we could make our goal by working half-time, because that 71.79 hours represents our combined workload. With two of us sharing the work equally, we’d each work about 36 weeks to earn enough for the corporation to cover its overhead and to pay us each 40 grand. If we bestirred ourselves to work at it 40 hours a week, it would take 35.9 full-time work weeks—18 work-weeks apiece—to make our goal.

LOL! Well, of course, we know all this glamorous work isn’t going to find its way in the door by itself. So I calculated the number of hours that would be left after finishing the paid work to spend on marketing. If I did all the work (which I won’t, because Tina will be handling some of it), I’d still have 11+ hours left in a 40-hour week or, in my more usual 60-hour week, 31 hours to devote to marketing activities.

This could work.

As long as we’re baking pie in the sky, I say to Tina, “how much would you like to earn from the editorial business?” Says she, “Well, my real goal is to someday earn $100,000.”

Holy moley. This could require us to quit carrying plates of chicken mole out to restaurant patrons. But…what would that actually look like? Could it be done?

In this scenario, I figure I don’t need any more than 40 grand, so there’s no point in my drawing any more than that out of the business:

Hmmm… We’d both be reduced to working at least 40 hours a week. However, remember that we’re sharing those hours, so instead of 60.9 forty-hour weeks, the actually load of billable hours would be more like 30.45 full-time weeks. And we also would be farming work out to print and Web designers, proofreaders, and the like, from whom we would engross a 25% cut. Still…the negative balance in the hours available for marketing doesn’t look good…possibly what would need to be farmed out is the marketing work!

Well, we’re not going to earn any of that unless I get back to reading some copy. And so…to work!

Image: Stars in the Sky (LH 95 star-forming region of the Large Magellanic Cloud). European Space Agency. Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Vote Now! What’s Funny’s Best Post of the Year?

Jacob at My Personal Finance Journey just emailed to say the blog is hosting this year’s Tour de Personal Finance! He asks PF bloggers to send in their best post of the past year.

As many of you may know, Jacob is a strong believer in charitable giving. He’s reserving 10% of his blog income for June and July (and this is a guy who actually has a blog income) as prize money and as a donation to the winner’s charity of choice. So as you can see, this competition is a worthy cause.

Well, heck. I don’t know which was Funny’s best post over the past 12 months. How about you tell me?

What do you think is the best post that’s appeared in these precincts of late? In case, like me, you can’t remember that far back, here are my own candidates:

Debt Consolidation: Proceed with Caution
Higher Education in America: A Modest Proposal
Opportunity Cost/Hassle Cost
Codeine Cough Medicine… Where’s Our Common Sense Gone?
Springtime, the Very Pretty Burglar Time
Entrepreneurs: Crystal Stemberger’s Blogging Empire
WTF Is In Your Food?

Which of these do you think, dear reader, is most likely to hold its own in the hot competition that is the Tour de Personal Finance? Or do you have a better candidate? Please let me know, one way or the other, in the comments below.

To get in Jacob’s spirit, if our nominated post winds the Yellow Jersey, I will donate my part of the prize winnings to Habitat for Humanity, as well as designating the part offered for the winner’s charity to go to the All Saints choir.

Deadline is June 24. But last year a lot of people participated, so if any of the posts above (or elsewhere) look like likely candidates, we should move fast.

Tell me your choice, and I’ll send the consensus winner to Jacob ASAP.

🙂

 

Dog$! Grrrrrrrrrr….

Well, I finally managed to get Charley’s attention this morning. How? By flying into a stratospheric rage and yelling at him for about 30 minutes, that’s how.

He now seems to understand “NO!” “STAY GODDAMMIT!!!” “OFF!” “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!” and “STAY AWAY FROM THAT THING!!!!!!!!!”

The “NO!” part has been a long time coming.

During the week he’s resided at my house, he has pretty well dismantled a $5,000 irrigation system. This morning I caught him contentedly chewing on the fourth dripper sprinkler of the week (you can get little sprayers to attach to dripper hoses, which work a lot more efficiently than the stupid drippers that have to run 8 or 10 hours to put enough water on a plant to keep it alive in 110-degree heat). He loves those things. He chews them off the dripper hose and then carries them to a comfortable spot where he can lay down and chew them into plastic confetti, presumably swallowing a fair number of chunks of plastic in the process.

Did I mention the vet bills for his chronic digestive upset? Did I happen to talk about the extravagantly expensive special food and the future of having to prepare 14 pounds of dog food a week in the kitchen of whichever house he ends up occupying, now and forevermore?

Oh. No…I see I didn’t.

The dog has had intermittent diarrhea since M’hijito got him from the breeder. He’s been tested for parasites and infections repeatedly, always negative. Just before M’hijito left on vacation, the vet put him on one of the blindingly expensive Hill’s P/D canned diets and handed M’hijito an expensive prescription and an expensive bottle of probiotics and then told him to feed the dog chicken and rice after the P/D runs out. Permanently.

So on the morning appointed for him to leave for San Diego, my son showed up with the dog, the dog’s mattress, a crate of staggeringly expensive canned dog food, instructions to feed a full can each morning and another full can each evening, a lifetime supply of Costco chicken thighs, and a sack of bulk rice from Sprouts that needed a camel to carry it into the house. He handed me a hundred-dollar bill with which to purchase more lifetime supplies of meat while he’s gone.

So most of the week I’ve been cooking dog food, which Charley consumes at an incredible rate. He’s getting better (although if he actually has IBS, the least drastic of the possibilities, my yelling at him for half an hour or 45 minutes will give him a relapse), and I think he may have regained some of the 4 pounds (that’s 6% of his body weight!) he lost during the last episode.

Meanwhile he’s chewed up at least four sprayers and drippers and snipped off lengths of hose at the ground, making it damn near impossible to repair the damage.

Several of these things, I can NOT find. They were installed before the plants grew up, so they’re hidden underneath shrubbery, where Charley can insinuate himself but I can’t even see. To aggravate things, the water pressure in his favorite part of the system is weak to begin with, so when I turn the system on, I can’t spot any geysers that would tell me where the broken parts are. Underneath there, the break that’s closest to the main is dribbling away, and everything downstream from that is dry as a bone.

This means I won’t find the broken parts until my (established! years old!!!!) plants goddamn DIE.

After I yelled until my throat hurt this morning, I went out and fought with the system for an hour—at 5:30 in the morning it was at least relatively cool out there. Yesterday while I was running around the city I bought a dozen new sprinkler gadgets and so was able to replace the ones in the potted plants (sort of…he’d shortened the dripper hoses enough that I couldn’t position them where they’d get all the pots) and dig a dripper that was watering a spot where a cape honeysuckle had been removed and seal it off and bury the dripper hose (which Gerardo’s ignorant sidekick will soon dig up again…he pulls that stuff up from the crushed granite and then just leaves it sitting there, the idiot).

The drippers are as nothing compared to the late-model kitchen cabinetry, into which Charley has dug great gouges in spite of having been told OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF to the point of blueness in the face. Yes, he does know what off means. He knows what no means. He knows what stay means. He will do those things when it suits him. Problem is, it rarely suits him.

And when it doesn’t suit him, he simply ignores the human in question.

Anyway, one of the cabinet doors now needs to be replaced. God only knows what THAT will cost. Those are custom cabinets that Satan and Proserpine ordered from Home Depot.

Interestingly, after this period of throat-scorching nuclear eruption, the dog responded to NO! by leaving it, by stopping, by not proceeding with whatever he was focused on doing. He responded to OFF! by sitting quietly with a contrite and respectful look on his doggy face. He responded to STAY! by actually staying long enough for me to dodge out the door. And he responded to STAY AWAY FROM THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! and to MINE, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!! by standing down from his contemplated exploit.

Temporarily.

I should be ashamed for yelling at a helpless dog. But I’m not. And he’s not.

Joe’s War: Great Book for Veterans and WW II Buffs

My friend Virginia Anders kindly visited this week’s Scottsdale Business Association meeting and delivered a guest presentation about her recently published book. Besides being a pretty interesting lady on her own, Virginia acquired, almost by serendipity, a treasure trove of historic documents written by her father, who was an officer on the U.S.S. Yorktown during World War II. He had written letters home to his wife, Virginia’s mother, almost every day that he was at sea in the Pacific Theater.

Long widowed, the love of his life carried his letters with her until the time came for her to move to a care facility. Virginia, helping her mom divest herself of her belongings and pack what remained, noticed a stack of envelopes sitting atop the trash dumpster, recognized them as her dad’s correspondence, and asked if she could have them—and of course the answer was yes. Virginia rescued the documents two hours before the recycling truck came along.

The pile of letters morphed into a labor of love (literally: no cliché here) for Virginia. To create a book, she transcribed them and then researched the history of the Yorktown. To build context for the correspondence, she interpolated military reports of the Yorktown’s position and activities for the dates her dad, Joe Clifford, wrote his letters.

Men (and the few women) at war were enjoined from sending details of military operations in letters home. To keep the censors from literally cutting (with a razor blade) passages from his correspondence, Virginia’s dad Joe was careful to keep to the daily life on board ship. But he was a natural storyteller, and the result is a vivid revelation of what it was like to live on board a carrier in the middle of a war zone, where kamikazi planes (which Joe coded as “buzzbombs”) targeted American ships and torpedoes were a moment-t0-moment fear.

Virginia published the book through Amazon, making it available in hard copy as well as on Kindle. If you or someone you know is a World War II veteran or an aficionado of WWII history, Joe’s War: His Yorktown Letters Home would make a very fine gift.

Live-Blogging from the Jobsite

Well, K&J got the Simonton doors and window here in record time: we ordered them a week ago yesterday, and today Darin’s guys showed up to install them. Some difference between the Milgard dealer and Home Depot, each of whom said maybe they could get the product delivered in three weeks. Or so.

It’s quarter to one. They’ve been working since 7:30 this morning (and Charley the Golden Retriever has been locked in a bedroom, and Cassie the Corgi has yapped nonstop). And they’re still at it…about at the finishing-up stage, I think.

Retrofitting new doors and windows to fit openings that have been jury-rigged by previous owners is quite a trick. And this house has belonged to a seemingly endless stream of Happy Home Handymen.

The bedroom door, which I think was installed quite some time ago, went into a hole created by sawing out the wall below an old window. The H. H. Handyman then installed a (pretty nice-looking, I thought) stained wood frame around it, which covered a few minor sins.

This was the double-paned number that felt hot to the touch when the weather outside was fairly mild, in the 90s. Don’t even ask what it was like in true warm weather. It’s coming on to 102 degrees just now, and the new one, pictured here, actually feels cool when I put my hand on it!!

They didn’t have too much trouble getting the bedroom door in, or the back bedroom window, or the old Superlite aluminum cheapo installed back in 1971 by the builder. Wish the doors could just stay out and we could live like Tahitians, with the walls open to the ocean breezes. That craving passes, though, as the desert day grows warm.

Then…heh heh heh… They came to the door Satan installed when he (intelligently…) built his west-facing covered deck off the dining room. To create this opening, Satan started with a narrow, wide window the builder had set high in the wall, not quite a clerestory—a clunky style that was in fashion at the time. He sawed through the block wall on each side and then constructed some framing to accommodate a Home Depot special. He left a lot of air around the thing, interestingly. That one required quite a bit of effort and carpentry skill to replace. After spending a good amount of time wrestling with it, the men got that in place, too, and then built new framing around it.

Here’s how the new door looks from the outside…

…and here it is on the inside:

Now they need a little paint touch-up, which is fine: I’ve got a long list of honey-do’s for a good painter! Once he’s here, he can also take care of some of the other issues that need fixing. Depending on what he charges, maybe he can wangle a most-of-the-house repainting job, come to think of it.

I need to wash and rehang the curtains, but believe I’ll wait till it’s little cooler out in the Garage-O-Mat.

These windows actually are physically cool to the touch. It’s weird! Not only that, but they’re even marginally cooler than the Milgards that I installed in the place after I moved in. But that may be because the Milgards are on the north-facing wall. Still…no direct sunlight ever hits them. The REAL cool-to-the-touch test will come late this afternoon, when the setting sun manages to work a few beams in around the foliage on the west side. Satan’s door actually was pretty energy-efficient—the only older window in the house that even approached low-E. But it did warm up along about 5:00 p.m.

And so, this is The Fat Lady, signing off from the Funny Farm in lovely uptown Phoenix, Arizona. Be glad you’re not here, and be especially glad you’re not a tradesman in this place!

the-sun

WTF Is in Your Food?

Now, this is scary, but I dare you to listen to the whole freaking thing. No… Consumer alert: I’m afraid “scary” is an understatement. This report is stand-your-hair-on-end horrifying.

You need to hear this. Hold your nose to make your way past the nauseating part about how beef, pork, and chicken are fed and raised and (near the end) get an earful of Philpot’s thoughts on raising your own birds. It’s sorta heartening.

Think I just lost interest in eating Costco or grocery-store beef and lamb and chicken and pork and developed a profound interest in eating about a quarter as much meat but buying it at Whole Foods.

In the meantime, this line of thought brings me to something I’ve become quietly obsessive about. To wit:

Surely there’s a way caring people can work together to make life better in today’s dystopia, even if it’s only within their own small groups. For example: the chicken-raising project. Though everyone talks about it, La Bethulia is my one (count her, one) friend who has had the sheer chutzpah to actually DO it. Could we all learn from her and figure out how to keep a flock of chickens happy without having the carnivores that live with us eat the damn things? And with our collective knowledge and intelligence, could we figure out how to sell or donate extra eggs?

Good lord, folks… Do we ever need to resist Big (Business) Brother! If we worked together, could we find a cost-effective way to buy free-range beef, pork and lamb? Could we figure out a collaborative way to raise healthy chickens or ducks or goats or god knows what to our mutual benefit? Could we generate solar energy for a neighborhood and cut down on the coal-fired plants?

There has gotta be a way.