Coffee heat rising

Beelzebub Central

Great Zot! What have I done to tick off Lady Karma?

Last night I encountered a vast fly infestation in the house. Thought I’d killed them all off-something over a dozen. Disinfected the kitchen countertops with Mr. Clean, I product I just loathe for its vile perfume, and so went to bed with the whole house stinking of that stuff.

This morning: MORE flies! The place was just swarming with them! After swatting and swatting and swatting and SWATTING, I finally gave up and got out the spray. I hate that stuff far more than I hate Mr. Clean, and I really, really don’t want to use it in the house-especially with a famously sick dog at hand. But there really was no choice. Flies quickly learn to avoid a fly swatter, and my hand-eye coordination and speed are no match for the little guys.

So I sprayed around the arcadia doors and then opened them up with the screens shut. This didn’t come anywhere near killing all the critters, but at least slowed them down so I could hit them. Did in about three dozen flies.

I found more of them clinging to the security door in the garage. Spraying in there is highly problematic, because of the gas heater, but the door is a distance from the heater. So I sprayed the security screen and then slammed the wood door shut on it.

Off for the morning walk. When I got back: MORE FLIES. More inside the house, and another gigantic swarm inside the garage, clustered in a great buggy mob on the closed wooden door.

I guess the spray in the garage had stunned the survivors enough that I could whack them: I killed over two dozen in there.

So I’ve done in about seven dozen flies, all told. . .and counting.

But WHERE are they coming from? The dog mounds are picked up outside and stay picked up. There’s no garbage inside the house. The trash in the garage, yes, was a little ripe (yesterday, it was 109 degrees outdoors, hotter in the uninsulated garage, whose big door operates as a radiator), but there’s a screen door between the garbage and the outside, and I don’t leave the door between the kitchen and the garage open. ????

Dragged the garbage out, along with a few dried-out flowers, to find an enormous stench in the communal garbage can in the alley. The neighbor behind me uses adult diapers, and her companion dumps them in the garbage. And of course there were plenty of flies there. I doubt if they’re breeding there, though: Sally wraps everything up tight in plastic bags. At any rate, I sprayed the rim and lid of the giant garbage can.

It’s almost as if they’re breeding inside the house. There just aren’t that many flies in the yard for seven dozen of them to get in while the dog is wandering in and out the door. I wonder if they could be breeding in one of the plant pots? Guess I’ll have to haul those outside and inspect them.

Meanwhile, it was hotter than the hubs of Hades when we went for our walk. I haven’t been able to get in the pool (which needs some tending, too) because of the fly fiasco.

I had to disinfect the countertops and dishes in the drainer all over again.

Then I put my back out-again!-wrestling with the dog while trying to medicate her nether parts. She threatened to bite-again!-so I had to muzzle her-again!-and personhandle her down to the floor. That was jolly fun. Dang! My back was almost better. Now for another week or ten days of that…what fun.

Guess I’d better drag the plants onto the patio before breakfast. If the flies are coming from a plant pot, the sooner it’s outdoors the better. It’s already close to 100 out there, and the house plants won’t tolerate much of that. So…better get moving.

Then I have to clean all the windows where I smashed flies, vacuum up some more corpses, and take the fly-splattered curtains down and wash them.

<<Chortle!>> Woe woe pore li’l me!

Well…it’ll be a good excuse to have a beer this afternoon, eh? By 3:00 or 4:00 p.m., I’ll have earned it. :-))))

On the Run: Report from our roving reporter

Racing from pillar to post:

Gasoline: $3.47 a gallon at Costco, over a dime a gallon below the average rate in Phoenix. Lines out the wazoo. Across the street: $3.59 a gallon. Bought $8 worth, 2 1/3 gallons, enough to guarantee I could get to work and the client’s without getting stuck on some godforsaken freeway.

Real Estate: Neighbor’s house on the market: $399,000. What are they smoking?

Great Desert University: Not a soul in sight. Peaceful. Too bad you can’t have a university without the students.

Client: Forks over $300 for proofreading a detective novel. I’m in love.

Food: La Maya back from Costco, $200 down and almost nomeat purchases. Reports toilet tissue and aluminum foil prices up $2 per package; believes price of dental floss has doubled since last purchase. Food prices out of sight.

Heard in the Costco: Dad to young adult son: “Well, with the cost of groceries like this, we won’t be able to keep having Melvin over for dinner all the time.” Son to dad: “Uh-huh.” Inflation bad for parasites?

Seen in the Times: Jim Lehrer News Hour loses Archer-Daniel-Midland sponsorship; budget woes worst in program’s history. U.S. in danger of losing last adequate daily broadcast news program on the air.

Bargain of the Day: GDU offers vehicle-sharing program to employees, s’pposed to save you great wads of cash: $35/year plus $9/hour. What are they smoking?

Dog: Infection looks better; appetite improved; nose still ominous. Sound of dog’s breathing: huffadollar huffadollar huffadollar….

Big Brother Visitation: In 40 minutes, City shills report to neighborhood association on decision about which structures will be ripped out to make way for trolley rail route. Tune in same place, two or three hours hence.
***

Big Brother Revisited: We heard distorted statistics from a half-baked survey that purported to show the neighborhood consensus was the exact opposite of what it actually is. With a bar graph that represented 16 people’s survey responses in a different proportion from the responses of 150 people, they tried to tell us the 16 people carried the day. Conclusion: we want the City to tear down an entire row of houses, reroute feeder street traffic through three small neighborhood roads, and build a ridiculous “barrier wall” between the survivors and the mess they’re building on 19th Avenue. Neighbors are now planning to riot at City Council chambers next week. Funny will be there. We also will waylay our councilman at his monthly Marie Callendar’s breakfast on Thursday.

Welcome, Life-Hacker Readers

Mighty glad to welcome those of you who just came here from LifeHacker! To learn more about me and how this blog came into being, please see the links at the top of any page. Click on “categories” for a sort of index that groups posts by various topics.

And don’t forget the RSS feed at the top of the Funny about Money home page! Comments and feedback are encouraged and read with interest.

-vh

1 Comment left on iWeb site

Sridhar J

Hi

I did come from Lifehacker and am mighty glad I did :). I came to the featured page and stayed here for quite sometime. You write from the heart and it shows. All of us have problems ranging from mildly irritating to no-sleep-at-night types. Dealing with them rationally and logically is the only way out. Your Poison Poppy representation was on the mark.

An alternate revenue stream would be for you to monetize your writing, like freelance writing. I am sure you would do well.

All the best in your life.

Regards

Sridhar

Sunday, May 18, 2008 – 09:51 PM

Time and tide . . .

Gosh, but my shape has changed since the last time I wore this Eileen Fisher outfit. It still fits, but somehow the effect is…less willowy, shall we say.
I’ve been summoned to a brief reappearance in my old life as a society matron. A delightful and wonderfully competent woman who was a staff member when I was on the board of the Humanities Council is retiring from the executive directorship, a position she succeeded to over time. They’re having a to-do for her at the Arizona Biltmore, a hangout for Old Wealth and a place I haven’t visited in many a moon. Declining didn’t feel right, so in half an hour it’s off to the environs of the Richistani.

Problem is, I don’t have many clothes appropriate to events at the Biltmore: just a couple of old Eileen Fisher separates, and that’s about it. Since I don’t deal with the public, my job doesn’t require that I dress decently, and so I live in Costco jeans and washable knit tops. In public, anyway; around the house it’s swim-suit cover-ups in the summer and fleece tops and jeans for the winter.

I was surprised to get the invitation. I haven’t felt welcome in those precincts for quite a while. After I got off the board, it was made clear to me that my further participation was unneeded, since a) I don’t earn enough to make the large donations expected of board members; b) my politics are a bit iconoclastic for that set (believe it or not!); and c) among those in the know, my image is a shade racy.

>So, my friends: Andrea’s Closet, if you will.

It’s very hard for me to rev myself up for this sort of happening. Always was: one of real stumbling blocks for me as a trophy wife was that I don’t much enjoy social events-make that Social, with a capital S. They make me feel utterly out of place, even though I know that none of those people has anything on me. In general, too, it’s hard to break through the inertia that says thank you very much, but I‘d rather take a swim in my pool, finish editing the copy I didn’t read on Friday, and read another chapter in the John Adams biography. Usually I end up enjoying myself once I get there. It’s just getting there that’s the problem.

Update:

My! What a strange experience. It was like going to a high-school reunion: “Fred? Fred? Is that you, Fred?” Many of the folks in attendance hadn’t seen each other in any fewer years than I have, and some people have changed so much as to be barely recognizable.

It was a select group. Not all that many, but among them at least two old-line Good Ole’ Boys, one of them still in full moving-and-shaking mode. Lots of money in that room, rubbing elbows with the creative types and the certified intellectuals. Jeez.

2 Comments left on iWeb site:

Annette
Did you know that Lifehacker references your post of May 12th.Just saw it.

http://lifehacker.com/391448/make-your-budget-easier-to-grasp-with-targeted-accounts

Congratulations
Sunday, May 18, 2008 – 06:15 PM

vh
Zowie! Thanks for letting me know. That’s awesome!
Sunday, May 18, 2008 – 07:33 PM

Progress toward loan payoff goal!

Along about the first of the year, I framed a goal to set aside enough to pay off a small second mortgage I took out to renovate the Investment House. At that time, about $23,500 was owing on the original $25,000 loan, which has an interest rate of 6.5 percent. I would like to have this loan paid off by the time I retire, in three to seven years.

The loan’s monthly payments are small and easily affordable on my current salary. I decided that rather than paying directly toward principal, I would save enough to pay it off in one swell foop when I retire (or have the equivalent amount in savings should I sell the house before paying off the loan). I created a second income stream by taking on a couple of classes at one of my beloved employer’s satellite campuses. Because those courses were double-enrolled and I threatened at the last minute (when I learned about this) not to accept an FTE workload in addition to my real full-time job, the university agreed to pay me for four sections. This serendipitous fiasco added $1,676 to my monthly take-home pay!

Hence, the strategy: deposit $838 per paycheck to Vanguard’s Prime Money Market Fund, plus the $250/month I figured I could spare from my regular income. Add my income tax refund to it. Label this money the Renovation Loan Fund, and set it aside to pay off the loan and to double as an extra emergency fund. Meanwhile, snowflake down the principal with budget underruns and any small windfalls.

With the final $838 of the semester winging its way to Vanguard, we can see that this scheme is working nicely.

The principal itself is now snowflaked down to $$22,583, an $880 improvement.

The Renovation Loan Stash is up to $17,119. So, if I wanted to pay off the second mortgage today, all I’d have to come up with is about $5,465. If pushed, I could do it. If I sold the house today, the entire amount of principal could come out of the sale price, and I’d still have a substantial part of that amount in savings to put help buy another house.

While snowflaking is very nice-the $880 principal reduction is way better than a hit on the head-clearly the key to effective savings on a modest salary is to establish a second income stream!

If you rally need to pay down a loan or put money aside in savings (and who doesn’t?) and your salary is pegged firmly in the middle to low range, the fastest and most efficient solution is to get a second job or start a small enterprise on the side. Then apply all the net income from that second income stream to your goal.

Now that the teaching gig is over, I’ve picked up a little freelance proofreading job. Pay is low, but hey: I’m getting paid to read detective novels! By the end of 2007, that should pay at least $4,000. If I can also spare $250 a month from my paycheck, the resulting $5,500 stash will be enough to pay off the loan.

Cheap Eats: Delicious veggie spaghetti

Cheap Eats is a day late, yesterday having been a bit on the hectic side, but it’s not a dollar short. Here’s a yummy, economical meatless spaghetti meal, cadged from a television program whose name I don’t recall.

You need…

  • A handful or two of walnuts (other kinds of nuts will work: almonds, pine nuts, pistachios, cashews)
  • A wad of spaghetti
  • Olive oil
  • Sage leaves
  • Water
  • Optional: canned pepper such as pimiento or roasted chili pepper, cut into small pieces
  • A little chopped Italian parsley, if desired
  • Parmesan cheese

Bring a large pot of water to the boil.

While this is heating, pour enough olive oil into a frying pan to skim the bottom nicely. Heat the olive oil. Take a few sage leaves (about half a dozen) and place them in the oil. Let them crisp up a bit, but don’t scorch. Add a generous couple of handfuls of nuts. Brown the nuts in the olive oil. If you like, after the nuts are nicely browned, add a few pieces of canned pepper.

When the water comes to a boil, cook the spaghetti al dente.

Drain the spaghetti in a colander, then toss with the nuts and olive oil. Serve it up with plenty of Parmesan cheese. Sprinkle on a little chopped parsley at the last minute.

Accompanied with a tossed green salad, this makes a full meal and is truly good to eat.