Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Some Vacation…

So, this damn cancer scare has converted what I’d planned to be the first extended break from work — about a month and a half — to one long hassle-filled headache, culminating of course in a surgery nightmare. Damnation. Not to say {whine!!!}.

Bright and early this morning someone from the Mayo called to inform me that they’ve scheduled me to spend the entire afternoon of next Monday at their facility halfway to freaking Payson getting poked, prodded, and re-X-rayed. (If I didn’t already have breast near-cancer, I would by now given the number of times my boobs have been exposed to X-radiation.) This will require me to drive home from the Mayo during the rush hour, a gawdawful prospect. I was supposed to take Ruby to the vet to leave her there overnight preparatory to spaying, but that will be out because I won’t get home before the vet’s office closes. So she’ll have to be delivered to his place at 8 a.m. sharp the next day, requiring yet another fun drive through rush-hour traffic.

This sounds like less hassle than it is. During the rush hour, you can’t turn left off the main north-south drag that serves our neighborhood. So, to get to the vet’s office, I have to wind my way through not one, not two, but three neighborhoods to reach a road that will allow me to turn east to get started on the long drive to the veterinarian. Because the middle class has largely vacated the central part of the city, except for a small millionaire’s row along North Central, all the infrastructure — including veterinarians and high-quality medical care — has moved out, too, following the dollars. To get your freaking hair styled, you have to drive halfway to Scottsdale. Same is true to get to a decent vet and a decent doctor. And of course Scottsdale is east — left — of here.


On the to-do list today is to update the will.

Several years ago, I went to a lawyer to have a will drawn up. After she charged me a hefty fee, I discovered she’d simply downloaded a form off the Internet and filled it in. Well, hell: I can do that.  Actually, what I plan to do is retype the thing and then get it witnessed and notarized by the same people who witnessed and notarized it for free the last time. Anyway, it’ll probably take a good 45 minutes to screw with retyping that.

Anyway, once it’s typed to disk, any future changes will be easy to make.

Then the dog: Ruby has to be spayed. She’s just about to reach the age when she could come into her first heat. Since my son will be here for a couple of days with his (formerly) male dog in tow, I can’t have Ruby emitting pheromones to drive Charley (and the rest of us) nuts. That happens next week, and god only knows how long I’ll have to nurse her along after that.

Then the money issue: The Mayo does not take Medicare assignment. This does not mean it doesn’t accept payment from Medicare. Sometimes it does. What it means is that they will not take direct electronic deposit of payments from Medicare, or, evidently, from your Medigap provider. What this means is that payment is remitted to you and then you have to pay the Mayo. But this payment comes in the form of a flurry of small checks, sent in envelopes that are indistinguishable from the usual junkmail these outfits deluge you with — EOBs and advertising and redundant or useless “information,” piles and piles and PILES of paper. So you have to rip open every envelope, search through the paper inside looking for checks, and then shlep the goddamn checks to the credit union.

I finally gave up trying to deposit the accursed checks electronically. The process is so slow and so buggy it’s often no faster than driving up way and Hell and gone to the westside, parking the car, walking into the lobby, standing in line, and forking the checks over to the cashier. A major project like breast surgery and all the ancillary testing and counseling and carrying on surrounding it is going to generate enough paper to fill an underground missile bunker. The amount of time consumed in dealing with all that paperwork and schlepping or e-depositing all those checks simply defies belief.

Presumably these people think that if you’re old you have nothing to do but waste your time at their behest.

Speaking of the money issue, one of the things I have to do today is get ahold of someone at the Mayo who can help to figure out what Medigap will cover and what it will not cover, so I can determine how much of my retirement savings I’m going to have to withdraw to pay for this misadventure. I would like, for a change, not to be blindsided by their incomprehensible billing.

Welp, things could be worse. One of my students, a young mother-to-be, missed the deadline to turn in her final paper because she was in the hospital getting surgery to divert urine out of her body. Her kidneys are shutting down. They’re planning to deliver the baby at 35 weeks and hope that will be long enough for the infant to develop adequately to survive OK. But…then what is not clear. We at least managed to get the paper in my hands by the crack of dawn this morning. This allowed me to get into the District’s system  before the grades I entered yesterday had officially been “accepted” — meaning I was able to change her final grade from a C to an A at 6:00 a.m., before my access to the final gradesheet was blocked.

Every time you think your own life is going to Hell on a skateboard, you meet someone else who’s riding a faster skateboard.
A lot faster.


Author: funny

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One Comment

  1. Greetings Miss Vicky,
    sounds as if you are charging full steam into the fray! Wondered what was happening but wasn’t successful accessing this site first try, glad I finally caught up.
    So I take it the biopsy was positive and you are on the next rung of the medical ladder. Hope all the things you are experiencing have some lasting value and we will find you well and happy(?) on our return.
    Charlie and I drove safely to PA and are settled into our life here until Dec. Have a few trips planned in between most exciting is Sicily in Oct.
    Thinking of you from time to time,