Coffee heat rising

funny

This post may be a paid guest contribution.

Hotter than the Hubs

by

And now it’s Saturday, a morning not one whit better than the one that came before and the one that came before that.

HOT. Hot hot hot. 95 degrees in the shade of the back porch.

Clammy.

Sticky. 

Little dawg is scarfing water so frantically she’s choking on it. Human is about to melt. Icky day, and the sun is barely up.

Far as I can see, there’s nothing on the calendar for this Saturday. Sure hope not! ‘Cause if there is, I’m sure not up for it!!!

8:39 in the morning. My son is probably still in the sack…I hope so, because he deserves it. Traveled all over the country. Surged from pillar to post. Worked his a$$ off.

But I should email him (which at least won’t wake him up) and ask if I can take him to lunch, today or tomorrow.

URK! Running low on dawg kibble. Ruby feasts on an overpriced fancy-dan kibble, available locally at the overpriced fancy-dan AJ’s grocery store. Without a car, I’ll have to put my son up to driving me down there, or else hike to Central avenue and catch a bus.

No.

And No.

Turns out we can order this stuff from Amazon. Fifteen bucks for a five-pound bag.

Hm. Exorbitant. But….could be worth it, to avoid having to navigate around in this heat and humidity.

Dang!  Let’s see if the kid will tolerate getting together this weekend. If so, he can drive me down there, or pick up a bag and bring it up here. Otherwise, I’ll get Amazon to ship it.

IMHO, Amazon’s service pays for its over-pricing in spades.

Heeee! It keeps getting better…

by

Well, by damn! I found a copy of my driver’s license. 

Who would ever have expected such a thing? 😀

So now I don’t have to put up a friend or a taxi driver to schlep me down to the county and wait while I stand in line and I stand in line and I stand in line and I stand in line and I stand in line and I stand in line and ….. Ad effing infinitum. 

Seriously: the lines in that place are freakin’ endless. So this is a big relief.

It brings us back around to the question of whether I’m going to continue to drive the tank at all after this. 

And y’know…hafta tellya the truth: I’m inclined to think not. 

Why should I?

It has become surprisingly easy to get around this city without a car. Not as easy as in San Francisco. But…close.

Add to that the fact that an Uber driver lives right across the street from me! 

Think o’that!

Between Uber and the city’s hugely improved public transit, the truth is…I may not need a car at all. If something comes up that it’s just totally unavoidable, there’s a place a block up the street where I can rent one!

Well. For sure, we’re going to experiment with that thesis. Let’s give it a few weeks to see if I can get around, hassle-free, without owning a tank.

Can you imagine? Not to have to do battle with

* licensing
* maintenance
* gasoline
* keeping the car out of the local thieves’ hands
* storing it in a garage
* pouring money into it
* pouring money into it
* and pouring money into it…

Jeeemineee! This looks like a whole new world! 

Grrr! Makes a Landlord Look Good!

by

Here’s another fine hassle to fart with this morning: check all the attic fans to see if they fall into this category.  And thereby need to be replaced….

Arrrggghhhh! This is the kind of BS that makes you feel that renting is a good thing, as opposed to owning your place. If I lived in an apartment — or, hell, if some other poor sucker owned the Shack and just rented it to me — someone else would be trudging around the perimeter eyeballing the roof. In the heat. When they’d druther be taking a nap…

***

Far’s I can see, the Shack is not equipped with these things. Its attic is vented with heat-driven whirligig vents.

Well, that’s something, anyway.

Y’know…much as I do enjoy the Funny Farm, with all its space for the dog and its nifty swimming pool and its central location and its (mostly) cool neighbors, sometimes I think…I just don’t wanna live here. Sometimes I think I’druther live in a nice high-rise apartment, with an awesome view  and an army of hired help doing battle with the maintenance.

Now: what next?

Mwa hah hah! Just you wait!

 

STILL hotter than the hubs…

by

My GAWD!!!!  Ruby and I: just back from our morning perambulation of the park. By 7:30, it was SOOO HOT and SOOO WET out there, the human was literally drenched. Horrible!

Hideously reminiscent of (un)lovely Saudi Arabia, in the sun-scorched sand by the waves of the Persian Gulf. Gawdawful place!!!!  So glad to NOT be there.

And in fact, if my son weren’t here in (un)lovely Phoenix, you can be sure I would NOT be here. Between the ever-urbanizing, ugly city and the truly ugly summer weather, this would not be where I would choose to live.

Well, one nice thing about this morning: the nasty weather kept most of the air-headed dog-walkers indoors. So Ruby and I didn’t have to dodge a lot of out-of-control pooches, for a change.

Why are people soooo stupid about their dogs???

Anyway, what we did get to see was an almost brand-new baby being pushed along in a carriage by his spectacularly proud dad. That was cool!!!

Metaphorically speaking…

Tooling along thinking…man! I’ve gotta get a lawyer to replace the very late and once great Mike Kimerer. We need to be sure all the wills and paperwork and debts and whatnot are set up for M’jito. I don’t want to surprise him by croaking over and leaving some kind of unholy mess for him to plow through, instead of an orderly estate.

Nobody’s there at Mike’s office: apparently his partners (office-mates may be more like it???) just shut everything down and threw out his files. My will was in one of those files…

I guess I’ll try to reach the ex-husband (high-test lawyer, retired) to see if he can refer me to someone to be sure all that stuff is in order.  Failing that:

????

 

 

 

And now: Eeeeeeps!

by

WTF? 

Something there is about that sky that is giving this old bat the Serious Creeps. 

Further creepifying: I dunno what the “something” is. 

What we have out there is…hmmm….

heat

high, fat cumulus style clouds

heat

mugginess

heat

high, thin  web-like clouds drifting in with the cumulus clouds

heat

mugginess….

WTF? What IS it trying to say to us?

****

My guess is that we’ll find out along about 9:00 or 10:00 tonight. And the utterance will be KERR-BOOOOOOM!!!!!

Yeah. Looks to me like quite the desert storm a-drifting in.

Wunderground, au contraire, predicts a 6% chance of precip.

Yeah. Right, guys. Didja accidentally drop a zero next to that six?

{Gasp!} {Pant!!}

by

Lordie, it is HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HADES out there. Two o’clock in the afternoon and it’s 100 degrees in the deepest dark of the back-porch shade structure. Or… 105 degrees, according to Wunderground.

So much for any bright ideas I might have had about making a run on the corner Fry’s or the Sprouts a few blocks down the road.

Non-negotiable!

This summer does indeed seem hotter than normal. But it’s really not that hot: 100 degrees is par for the course…if anything, it’s a little cool for an August afternoon.

But it’s humid (in Arizona terms…that ain’t very). Some clouds are coming up around the horizon…and hereabouts, any moisture in the air makes the air seem hotter than it is.

At any rate: so much for any planned junkets to the nearby stores. I ain’t a-goin’ out in THAT stuff!!! Those stores open as dawn cracks, so it should be possible to shoot into the Fry’s and out before the real heat comes up.

Oddly, it seems a little hot for late August in lovely uptown Phoenix. That’s because the wildest of the monsoon season normally strikes in August: billowing thunderclouds, crazy rainstorms. The rain will usually cool the temperature into the 90s before sunset. Maybe.

We shall see.