Coffee heat rising

Hot and Hellish

Lovely, lovely Arizona. 

At 3:30 in the afternoon, it’s 108 in the shade of the back patio. And overcast. 

Got that? 108 under a blanket of gray clouds.

What a place! Almost as lovely as lovely Arabia. Ick!

My son, figuring to protect me from myself (somebody has to, right?), brought over a few cans of beeroid.

And “beeroid“is the operative term: the damn stuff is non-alcoholic!

😀

LOL!  

Actually, in the flavor department, it’s not bad. Tastes much like real beer…a little bland, but otherwise acceptable.

WhatEVER…I am NOT in the mood to venture out, on foot, (the kid still has my car) to hike through cloudy (gawdawful!) heat and wind for the sake of a six-pack of beer.

On the other hand, neither am I in the mood to deprive my little self.

So here we are, perched on the bed, peering through the back windows as we watch the storm pile up, and…swilling. Beeroid, is what we’re swizzling..

Tried to talk M’hito into coming over for dinner. He, being no fool, was having NONE OF IT. So…okay…there’s some work I don’t hafta do.

And instead of that steak in the fridge, I reckon we’ll have some spaghetti. Well, I will: that dawg will turn up her cute little nose at spaghetti. 😀

By dinner time, this storm will have rolled into our parts, and we won’t want to be dodging raindrops to grill a slab of meat.

Hmmmmm….  Actually….that was prob’ly a smart move on The Kid’s part. This weather is growing worse with mathematical élan! Wind is picking up fast. Ugh! Looks like we’ll both be glad we stayed hunkered down in our respective caves. Temp.: 108 degrees. Wind speed: a mere 9 mph…just now… But tree tops are waving in the wind, a standard sign that soon the wind will be whipping us all around.

***

Uggleee afternoon. The sky’s the color of mud.

Sure am glad I don’t have to go anywhere this afternoon. And especially glad I won’t be driving home from work in a storm through rush-hour traffic.

Retirement: it’s the business!! 😀

 

 

 

How’m I Gonna Get it???

Well. I ain’t a gonna get it. 

Wine, that is. From the nearest fancy yuppy grocery store. Because I can’t get to said store without risking my life. And I ain’t a-gonna risk my life for a bottle of Sauvignon blanc.

No kidding: As we scribble, the temperature in the deepest shade of the back porch registers 108 degrees. Humidity is 19 percent.

My son has kiped my car, so I can’t drive the five blocks or so to the Sprouts or the Albertson’s to snab a bottle of wine.

And just now I would like nothing much more than a nice cold glass of white wine.

Could call Uber and have my neighbor Uber driver schlep me across the street, through the unholy heat, to snab a bottle at the Sprouts. But…seriously?????? 

Nope. I’m desperate, but I’m not so desperate as to hire a cab to drive me four blocks to a local grocery store.

Man!!  It is hotter than the hubs of Hades here this afternoon, even though 108 just isn’t that hot. It must be a bit humid out there, making the heat feel more intense than it is.

So I reckon tomorrow morning I’ll turn out of the sack early and show up at the store as the opening bell jangles. Yea verily: They all open at 7:00 a.m. So if I’m at their door at seven, I should be able to snab a bottle or two of booze and get back here before it gets dangerously hot.

{chortle!} You couldn’t do that in Sun City. Leastwise, I don’t recall that one can. Not unless you lived right next door to the shopping center. The place is VAST.

Lately I’ve considered following SDXB out to that indeed vast, monotone retirement city. It would have a few advantages: lots of other old bats; probably less traffic and fewer screaming ambulances; no kids yowling. But…

Well…been there, done that. Don’t think Sun City is my Thing.

****

SDXB just called from Seattle, where he’s visiting his sister and brother-in-law. They have a lovely home there, up north where the weather is cool at this time of year.

His sister is suffering from Parkinson’s disease. Heaven help her. That’s about the saddest news I’ve had in life: she’s an active, vivacious woman, very outdoorsy, very lively. To be crippled up with an ailment like that must be seven kinds of torture.

Well. Rather few of us are gonna get out of this place without some kind of torture, I guess. About the best we can hope for is that it will be relatively brief.

****

OMG!!!

M’ijito just showed up at the door. He went by the grocery store and surfaced with bag after bag of loot — even including a bottle of white wine!

Gosh. Now I won’t have to make a grocery run for the better part of a week. And I won’t have to sneak off to my favorite secret wine shop to snab a bottle of addictive slosh.

Wow!

Tried to get him to stay for dinner, but he took off like a cannonball.

See? That there would never happen if I were parked in Sun City!

😀

OMG. Not to say ha ha ha hee hee ha hah! 

He brought me a bottle of — hang onto your hat — zero alcohol white wine!

Zero flavor, too. It’s billed as Sauvignon blanc…and it has about as much flavor as tap water.

It was very thoughtful, though. What a sweetie!

And interesting to get ahold of the zero-alcohol stuff: now we know what it tastes like. Or…uhm…doesn’t taste like. 😀

 

Holee Ess-aitch-ai! Does this stuff NEVER stop?

So I’m trotting around the house, having just climbed out of the bathtub in the heat of the afternoon…wads of wet hair cascading around my shoulders, when BING BONNNGGGG! 

Somebody at the front door, dammit. 

It’s a woman looking for Josie, my neighbor to the north. I explain that she needs to proceed another block onward, ever onward. She looks kinda confused.

I think, ungenerously, pleeeze go away! 

Meanwhile, a cop helicopter is circling overhead. And circling. And circling: low and loud.

Now I’m thinking maybe she ought not to walk over there by herself. 

But on the other hand, there’s always the possibility that she’s one of the perps the cops are searching for.

Hm. 

Oh well. Shortly she decides to wander off. And I decide not to try to stop her: let her go. Hope for the best.

What a place we live in!

*****

Argha. I probably ought to have a bigger dog. Twenty-five pounds the Hound of the Baskervilles does not make.

But y’know…here in my dotage, I don’t wanna have to deal with another dog big enough and powerful enough to drag Tarzan down the street. So…the potential German shepherd will have to find another roommate.

An alternative option would be to move to Sun City. Those mausoleum-like precincts are relatively free of raiding home invaders, thieves, and burglars. One probably doesn’t even need a 90-pound dog out there…hm?

But…but……  I hated living out in Sun City, and I really, really don’t want to move back there. That would be true if my son could live a couple miles down the road (as he does here), but the prospect of being out there all alone makes it spectacularly true. Ugly, dreary, boring place…just not my cuppa tea.

So here we are. Hand me that pistol, if you don’t mind, whilst I see who’s at the door…

Hee heeee! And I imagined I was drinking…WHAT?

My goodness. Sometimes one does wonder if somehow one is absorbing a little whiskey through the air!  What on EARTH???????

Just now, I’m puttering around the Funny Farm and thinking, ohhhhh, I’d like to walk up to the grocery store and buy a cool li’l snack and also something for the Doggy-Woggy! 

Ohhhhhh, wouldn’t that be nice??

Uhm. Well. No. Just stepped out into the backyard to attend to some minuscule task and… MY GAWD!  It is ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DEGREES in the shade out there!!!!!

Holeeee maquerel!!!!!!

So. Neither the Doggy Woggy nor the Wacky Human are getting any nummies this afternoon. CAN you imagine????

Seriously: I can’t remember that Arabia, that hell-hole of heat and humidity, was ever this hot.

Gosh, I hated that place. Didn’t know any better because I started out there at an age just short of three years old. But dumb as I was and inexperienced as I was, I did know when the air was so hot and thick you could barely breathe it. And I was happy — more happy than you can imagine! — when after ten years in that horrible place my father decided to quit Aramco and take a job in California.

Freedom’s just another word….

Now…California, I do miss! Arizona leaves a lot to be desired: like a livable climate and a sophisticated culture. It’s a helluva lot better than Saudi Arabia. But it still would not be my first choice of domiciles.

Why did my parents retire here, to Arizona?

Cheap, I reckon. Sun City offered decently built tract houses in a pretty safe setting, for a price that would have been half of what they’d have had to pay to own a place in California.

Well, I’ll tellya… Sun City was a helluva lot better than Saudi Arabia. But it still would never have been my choice of places to live.

Where my father was concerned, if it was cheap (yet middle-class in ambience), it was good. And yeah: the real estate was cheap there, out in the middle of the cotton fields.

It’s all built up now, and not a bad place to live — in a whitey-white suburban way. Not my taste, but he and my mother liked it. My mother loved it, actually, and that must have gratified my father.

Now…hmmmmm…. If we were in Sun City right now, would I be able to walk to the nearest grocery store and snab a bottle of white wine?

Yeah. I expect.

The walk would be much longer — that place only has a couple of small shopping centers, for acre on acre on acre of houses. It would be hotter: hardly any trees grow out there. But it could be done.

Given my ‘druthers, I’d stay here. The houses are similar, the prices aren’t much higher, and the amenities are far more abundant. Sun City: a ghetto for old folks.

A ghetto’s a ghetto’s a ghetto….

Take Me Home, Lord!

Well, actually….hold that thought, Your Lordship. “Home” was grody Ras Tanura, an American compound on the shore of the Persian Gulf.

You don’t wanna live there. And I sure don’t! Never again!!!!

This morning, though, the weather here as weirdly reminiscent of Ras Tanura’s: hot, sticky, stuffy…so wet as almost to be foggy. Horrible place there. And just now: horrible place here.

Ruby the Corgi is just back from dragging her human a mile or so around the park. Not exactly a horrible place…but this morning: hot and gummy.

If I were to ask the gods to take me “home,” I reckon I’d mean Berkeley, California. That’s where my mother’s relatives lived, on a hillside road that led up to a tunnel passing under the hills and into the upscale regions where my cousins lived.

Beautiful place, it was. Cool and green and populated with pretty little bungalows. A train came through that tunnel; my aunt,, who worked for Crocker-Anglo National Bank, would ride it into San Francisco five days a week, to get to her job. If I had my choice of places to live, that hill in Berkeley would be it.

Sure as Hell wouldn’t be here…you can bank on that.

My parents, for reasons I never understood, were enchanted by Sun City, here in Arizona. I hated it — partly because young people were markedly unwelcome, but more because it was dull, dreary, monotonous, and…well…boooooring.

My mother, though, loved it. Shortly before she died of tobacco-induced cancer, she told me how much she loved their little place in Sun City. And Sun City itself. And the heart-warming roar of the F-16s from nearby Luke Air Force Base.

No kidding. She used to coo on about how that racket was “the sound of freedom.”

Yeah. The sound of World War III.

Their best friends from Rasty Nasty (as my father called that shore-side Arabian-American Oil Company compound) followed my parents to Sun City. Truth to tell, I think they were following my mother, who was indeed their best friend. As she lay dying, the “friends:” informed my father that they were moving to Texas to be near their adult son…mostly because they couldn’t stand to watch my mother croak over.

So that left him out there all by himself. Once she was dead, there was no one amongst the neighbors with whom he had much in common. He was a merchant marine ship’s officer — in Arabia, he worked as a harbor pilot. Sun City, out in the middle of the Arizona desert, was about as far from the ships’ docks as you could get.

Maybe that was the appeal to him.

WhatEVER…as soon as she died, he moved himself into the old-folkerie that he had already identified before she fell ill. She had refused to move there (for good reason, IMHO)…but that left him to take care of her, very much by himself, after the cigarettes launched fully into their job of killing her.

Those last months in that pretty, beloved little house must have been seven kinds of Hell for him. The minute she died — no exaggeration — he started to make the move into Orangewood, that holding pen for the elderly.

He’d lived on ships from the time he was 16, so institutional living seemed comfortable and normal for him. I would have died if I’d had to live in that damned old-folks’ prison. He, on the other hand, actually liked it.

But to return to the Prayer of the Day….

Here in unlovely Sunnyslop, it’s hotter than the Hubs this morning, and humid. By the time the dog and I got back from walking around the park, I was drenched in sweat and humidity. Ruby ran in and flopped on the tiles. A jet fighter flew over the house. And I remembered how much my mother loved that Sun City house and even loved those damn jet planes.

So…yeah. Berkeley: that would feel like “home” to me…to the extent that we had a home.

But this house, on the border between crime-ridden Sunnyslop and white-collar North Central Phoenix, is home now. I’ll never see Berkeley again, that’s for sure. Chances are, I’ll never see much of anything beyond Maricopa County again.

That’s OK. I’ve seen the world. Don’t need to see it again. 

Hotter than a three-dollar cookstove…

…as my father used to say about the lovely weather in the garden spot that was Saudi Arabia.

As we scribble, the back-porch thermometer claims the temperature is 108 in the shade.

Yeah. That’s degrees Fahrenheit.

Ye gawds! It makes Arabia look balmy.

But…but…seriously: it’s 12:30 in the afternoon. Earlier in the day — shortly after the local grocers and farmacias opened, our li’l thermometer was already registering 102.

And yes, that does make Arabia look pretty balmy.

Fortunately, we have actual air-conditioning, rather than the gummy swamp-cooling that Aramco installed in its residents’ homes in Ras Tanura. Even then, it’s damn hot and sticky in here.

Nevertheless, the brain continues to run on overdrive. 

All sorts of original, clever, and…uhm..weird ideas are drifting through my overheated little mind. And in particular, the most significant ones have to do with my son’s adventurous liberation of my car.

Yes.

The garage remains empty.

And y’know what?

I’m finding I just…don’t…give…a…damn. 

This neighborhood is overrun with guys who wanna get rich quick driving for Uber. A nearly brand-new train runs down Main Drag West, one that would drop me off six safe and quiet residential blocks from my son’s house, if I chose to ride it. And the city busses cruise right past the intersection of the nearest feeder street and Central Avenue, which would take me to the front door of the beloved AJ’s market. Or let me off a block from the kid’s house.

Personally, I’d choose Uber if I knew they would show up reliably.

That doesn’t appear to be the case…but…but…yeah. I haven’t tested any such thesis. I will, in the future…probably the slightly cooler future. But if I do find they show up when they say they will, then…well…

Wanna buy a nice used Toyota Venza?

Yeah. Y’know what I think about this caper? That kid did me a huge favor. He’s helping me to get rid of a tank that needs to be serviced (expensively) every six months, that needs to have $3.00/gallon gas pumped into it every time you turn around, that takes up space in a garage that could be used for any number of better purposes, that pollutes the air, that….

Uhm…and how am I gonna get the dog to the vet, in an emergency?

Uber.

Or the kid. He still has his car. If Ruby has to be rushed to a veterinarian, he can come up here and collect her.

Or on foot. A 24-hour veterinary hospital is right down the road: about six or eight blocks, on foot. She weighs all of 25 pounds: I can easily pick her up and carry her there.

Meanwhile, check out these contraptions! I happen to have one of these. As we scribble, it’s now all tricked out with cardboard panels, the easier to haul stuff without dropping anything.

Here in the ‘Hood, we’ve got not one, not two, but three major supermarkets within walking distance: a Fry’s, a Sprouts, and an Albertson’s. I can do most or all of my grocery shopping on foot, without ever leaving the neighborhood. And right across the street dwells an Uber driver. Matter of fact, we’re told the ‘Hood is over-run with Uber drivers.

Heh! I haven’t tested that hypothesis. But it wouldn’t take a mob of wannabe cab drivers to provide plenty of transportation to the nearby shopping.