Coffee heat rising

Life in the Desert

The Music of the Morning

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Coming on to mid-morning here in the Funny Farm’s backyard. And…oh my goodness, what a lovely place, what a lovely symphony!

What we have out here in the side yard, where we take our morning dose of caffeine, is BIRDS. Hordes of wondrous birds.

Just now, the Bird Theater is dominated by a flock of beautiful doves. A slew of white-wings waddle around out here, grumbling at each other and searching for the seeds I’ve failed to put out this morning. Those critters do make for a fine start to the day.

A variety of songbirds are holding forth, as we scribble. What a symphony! Tweedle tweedle twee cheepee cheepee cheepee cheepee TWEE-uu TWEE-uu chirpita chirpita chirpita squaaaa squaaaa chirp chirp chirp chirp!!!!

Too delightful for words.

Hm. Maybe that’s why birds don’t have words???

  • I should take the dawg for a walk, before this gorgeous morning turns hot.
    • Too lazy. Who, me? set my coffee down???
  • I should drag the hoses around the yard.
    • Too lazy. What? get off my duff???
  • I should go back to bed.
    • Too lazy. That would entail getting off my duff and hiking to the bedroom…

Ohhhh well!  What can I say? Other than, maybe, Let’s go back to bed! 

BELAY that Last Post!!!!

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Forgodsake. Look at this morning’s FaM Post. Read that, and then say to yourself, with sterling accuracy and common sense, My gawd! The woman has lost every marble she ever had!  And THEN some!!!!! 

My imaginative little discovery, contingent on my son stealing my car out of my garage — “I don’t need a car to get around here! ” — turns out to be the single stupidest thing I’ve ever thought, said, or written. 

Yeah.

Today, as the sun made its way across the sky, I took it into my thick little head to walk down to the Albertson’s supermarket and pick up some dog food for Ruby the Corgi. While I was in the vicinity, I wanted to talk with a lawyer who practices in that shopping center — no, nothing drastic… Just a business matter. So: grabbed my home-made roller cart and headed on down there!

  • Walked.
  • And walked.
  • And dodged panhandlers.
  • And walked.
  • And fried.
  • And walked.
  • And fried some more.
  • And walked…..
  • Holeeeeee shee-ut!

The business lawyers whose office I’d seen so often in that shopping center were…GONE!!! Their space was empty.

Dayum!

The other lawyers, the ones across the parking lot, said they don’t do business law. But if I ever get arrested for drunk driving…. 😀

Yeah. 😮

By now, I was just fricasseed!

Went into the supermarket; hung out with the security guards for awhile. They put up with me, kindly, while I cooled down a bit.

But…now I had to get home. And that entailed walking block after block after block after block through searing, GAWDAWFUL heat.

Honestly: for a few minutes there, I wasn’t at all sure I was gonna make it.

Got up to the church. No one there; all the doors locked. Just a couple of bums hanging out in the shade.

Stumbled across the vast, black asphalt church parking lot. Staggered into the ‘Hood. Hotter and hotter and hotter….

Trudged and trudged through the residential part of our ‘hood. Hoped my neighbor Tom would be out…he and his wife Carol would let me inside to cool off, and keep me there long enough to be sure I wouldn’t pass out.

Nope. No sign of those two.

Hauled the empty cart along, and hauled it, and hauled it, and hauled it. Finally came to my house…not at all sure I could make it through the courtyard to the front door.

But I did: unlocked the door (clumsily: hands not working well) and staggered into the house.

And now here I yam, parked in front of the wonderful table fan. Dog snoozing on the floor: thank GAWD I didn’t take it into my feeble little head to take her with me this afternoon!

It’s much, much hotter than I’d estimated: 108 degrees, sez Wunderground. That may be an understatement!

At any rate, I made it home (miraculously!) and am now cooled down.

I guess I’m going to have to go out and rent another car — or maybe buy one. Obviously, I can’t get around on foot, not in this heat.

My ears are whistling.

My heart is pounding.

I probably should go to the ER. But without a car and through this unholy heat, how on earth would I get there?

Pant! Gasp!

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Four-thirty in the afternoon, and it’s 103 degrees in the shade of the back porch. Wunderground predicts temps as high as 109.

Credible. Highly credible. 😮

Yes. It IS seriously hotter than the hubs of Hades out there. Dawg and I are back in the house, after a brief circumnavigation of the neighborhood lane to the north of us.

LOL! Wunderground gives us an EXTREME HEAT WARNING extending from 10 a.m. tomorrow to 8 p.m. Tuesday.

Well. Sure. OK.  “Extreme”?  Seriously?  105 to 109 degrees at the height of the afternoon?  Well. Whatever you say, dear Wunderground.

I’d call that an ordinary Summer afternoon in (un)lovely Phoenix.

Yeah: hotter than Hell. You expected a balmy spring afternoon (un)lovely Phoenix, come the first days of summertime?  Good grief!

Gosh, though….this IS a pretty neighborhood. Hotter than Hell or not, it’s an attractive place to live. Think Ruby and I will stay….  😀

And…that’s a serious threat…uhm…thought. Matter of fact, I’d sure like to be able to leave this house to my son. It’s a handsomely designed and well-built little castle. If and when he inherits it, he could easily sell it for half a million bucks. (Yeah: that’s only $500,000, which is about par for the neighborhood these days.)

Think o’that! He could sell this house and retire on the proceeds. Or sell his own pile and move in here for the duration. Both houses are worth about the same.

Mine is a decade or three newer than his..so this place is likely to cost him less to maintain. Plus it has a pool. Yeah, a PITA of sorts…but also mighty nice at this time of year.

😀

Parboiled in Phoenix…

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Ruby and her human are just back from the neighborhood park. HOT, stuffy, stagnant morning over there…ugh!  Hardly a jolly frolic.

Oh, well. At least we got a little exercise. Ruby is flopped under the master bathroom toilet: in Canine Estimation, the coolest spot in the house. The Human is parked in front of a fan, swilling iced coffee.

In the Olden Days, when Whitey-Whites first lived in these environs, people would leave town for the summer. They’d go up on the “Rim,” as the high country is called, and pass the hot months there.

Yea verily: we used to own a ranch up there. We co-owners would betake ourselves to that place whenever we could.

Sure do wish we still had it!

😀

But oh!  The little kids in the park are so delightful, frolicking around in the dawn heat! Ruby and I loafed and watched the urchins burn off the parents’ calories. Eventually it got too warm to linger, and so we ambled back to the Funny Farm.

And here we sit, continuing the loafing chore.

Thank goodness we found Pool Dude!  Otherwise, I’d be out there in the backyard with the brush and the vacuum right now, cleaning the Hole in the Ground into Which to Pour Money. And lemme tellya: loafing, that is NOT. 

{chortle!} I do love the pool, though. Really, I ought to be out there right now paddling around in the drink. But oh, my…it really IS fricaseeing hot outside. Having come back from the park nicely parboiled, I can’t move myself to go back outdoors, even if it entails cooling off in the luxurious pool.

Phoenix, Arizona: Garden spot…

Report from the Hubs of Hades…

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EGAD, but it’s hot outside. 

Actually, it only seems so: Wunderground tells us the current temp is a balmy 95 degrees.

Brrrr!  Break out the jacket!

Actually, 95 isn’t all that hot for Arizona. I think it’s a little sticky out there, though: but…but…no!!!!  Only 4% chance of rain; Wunderground claims we have 6% humidity.

Right, guys. R-i-i-g-h-t…

Left Ruby home while I took a short hike around the ‘Hood, not wanting to fricasee the little pooch. Being only around 6 or 8 inches tall, her furry body would be one helluva lot closer to the frying pavement than my tall, thin, and unfurry one.

Came across a neighbor beating himself to exhaustion: Here in the middle of the afternoon, the guy had DUG UP HIS LAWN to pull out part of the irrigation system, which he was trying to repair. Lordie!!!  Beat me some more!!! 

All of which goes to show that some people are even crazier than I am.

Looked around the neighborhood just south of ours, wondering….would I like to move over there?

  • The houses are bigger, fancier, nicer.
  • It’s a slightly more upscale slab of the neighborhood.
  • Closer to the park: much to Ruby’s advantage.
  • Further from the ever-threatening Sunnyslope slum…

But…but…seriously?  What AM I smoking???

  • Yep: the houses are bigger, fancier…and commensurately more expensive to air-condition.
  • The lots are irrigated, meaning someone has to be paid to come around and mow the grass every week or two. (Mine is gravel: virtually maintenance-free.)
  • Close to the park means close to the traffic, close to crowds, close to noise.
  • Further from the slums means…nothing. Two or three blocks a difference in the crime rate does not make.
  • Rich people make me kuh-RAZY. No, I do not want to move into a more affluent slab of the ‘Hood.

Ahem! Okay, so much for THAT idea. 😀

Movin’ on…

Good Dog(gy-less) Walk

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In full Nut Case mode, the Human charged out into the afternoon heat, determined to exercise the spavined hip with a nice walk around the neighborhood.

😀
Not to say
:-0

Quite possibly not the critter’s smartest move. 

Amazingly, I failed to cripple myself. But did just about bake myself!

Yea, verily: it’s hotter than the Hubs out there. Not hot enough to beat back a brainless human, though…

Traipsed around the blocks to the north of my parts, where SDXB and I used to hike almost every day when we lived in another part of the neighborhood. Looks about the same. I kinda miss it….

Walked by the beloved Ole Guy’s house. What a nice man he was! SDXB and I became pretty good friends with him, until he had to move out. His wife, who also fell into the “old” category, had reached the point where she needed to go into assisted living.

She resisted with all her strength. Finally, to get her into the old-folkerie, he moved in there with her. So he had to sell their home, and away they went!

Much, much missed, we might add.

House looks about the same…still decently cared for, thank goodness.

It’s such a nice neighborhood! Gosh, I hope I can manage to stay here until I die!

O’course, we all know that ain’t a-gunna happen. But it’s something to work toward, eh?

Too, too hot for Ruby the Corgi out there in the afternoon heat. So the Human stumbled around alone out there, eventually smartening up enough to realize it’s too hot for humans, too. 😀  Ohhhh well.

Survived. Staggered back to the Funny Farm. Fed the dawg. Collapsed in an overstuffed chair.

Honestly, it’s not all that hot out there (for an Arizonan, anyway). But it is unusually humid. Icky, even. No clouds. Just sticky air.

Dawg is now overstuffed with food. Human waits for the chow to move through her little gut, so she can be let outside to do her Thing. And then…what?

More loafing, presumably….