Coffee heat rising

“Why Am I in the English Department?”

You recognize the allusion, of course. Hint: Mark Harris.

The question of the day, to be more specific, is why WAS I in the English Department? What on earth would possess any sane human being with a sliver of a normal sense of self-preservation to get a FREAKING Ph.D IN ENGLISH????????  What part of “you will never be able to get a decent job that will not leave you tearing your hair” can such a person fail to understand?

Today I engaged eleven years of advanced university education for EIGHT HOURS, trying to untangle the formatting mess left by yet another MS Wyrd crash and then doing things like searching “[any digit] + blank space + a” trying to find every reference to a time of day in 272 single-spaced pages so as to regularize format for each one, roughly according to Chicago style. With curlicues to make allowances for the author.

[Why would I do such a wacko thing? Because AU has written times of day as N a.m., N am, N AM, N:nn a.m., N:nn am, and NN AM. And so on. These all need to be regularized, made to follow the same style.]

So, here’s how this came down:

Last night around 11 p.m., I stumble away from the computer.

This morning around 8:30, I come back to the project. When I turn on the computer, I find a message: Word had to shut down.

Again?!?

This is a constant thing with MS Wyrd: for no good reason that anyone, human or silicon, can figure out, Word will crash. Out of the effing blue.

But this is something new, or so it seems: the program has gone down after I clicked Open-Apple > Sleep.

Fortunately, only three files were open at the time of the crash, one of them very short. Two are easy to restore.

Then we have 272 pages of client disquisition.

He is an articulate client who pays handsomely. And on time. An interesting man. The sort of client for whom one pines to do well.

The restored back-up file comes up and seems not to have lost much data (shouldn’t have: I saved before putting the computer to sleep).

No. It hasn’t lost data. Au contraire. It’s ADDED data.

Every. single. paragraph has been reformatted: “Not superscript/subscript,” proudly advertised in Word Track Changes.

Huh?

Not a single footnote number was ever changed (on my part) from superscript to anything else. And nary a subscript character appears among a single word filling those 272 pages.

These changes are all intertwined with hundreds of edits — I’ve already read 100 pages, and every page has changes on it: at least a few and usually quite a few.

The only way to get rid of the phantom changes is to click “Accept.” If you reject the change, then it converts the copy to superscript!

There seems to be no way to search “superscript” or “superscript/subscript.” The list of edits doesn’t come up.

And — inconsistently, with no rhyme nor reason — in some paragraphs if I highlight the graf and click “accept all,” Wyrd keeps the tracked edits in place. But in some, it accepts all edits. That won’t do, because Client needs to see the changes I’ve made.

On average, each page has about ten of these “Not superscript/subscript” commands.

No joke: that means something like TWO THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY spurious tracked changes to delete!

Some beach!

Shortly I figure out that I can go from the end of the file toward the last edited page and click “accept all” over batches of paragraphs. This isn’t very satisfactory, because I’ve done a number of global searches and replaces, and I really don’t want to lose those. So even though some of these “accept” commands work to get rid of the “not superscript/subscript” things, I have to watch carefully and Ctrl-Z to undo and manually fix each erroneously accepted “not superscript/subscript” command, ONE at a painstaking, mind-numbing, hair-tearing TIME.

This only partly lengthy procedure leaves about 100 fully edited pages to go through, ONE painstaking, mind-numbing, hair-tearing, goddamn infuriating command at a TIME.

Along about three in the afternoon, I find  myself revisiting the question of whether I should shut down the editorial business.

I mean, why am I doing this?

If I wanted to be a typist, I’d hire out as a virtual assistant. Oh, hell. If I hired out as a virtual assistant, I’d make a helluva lot more than I earn as a high-test editor, because there’s one helluva lot more demand for virtual assistants. Some woman at the last meeting of the West Valley Writers group I attended dasted to ask me if I’d type her manuscript.

{sigh}

If I charged enough by the page, I’d make almost as much as I make editing content.

I can’t charge the client for work created because my computer crashed. So today I’ve spent a good six hours working for free.

Do I hate reading freshman comp drivel more than this?

I hate reading freshman comp drivel a lot.

Quite a lot.

But more than this?

Possibly not.

If I took on two extra adjunct courses from the Great Desert University, which pays a Ph.D. almost a grand more than the junior colleges do, I’d earn as much per year as the S-corp earns from my editorial efforts. Actually, all told I’d earn about $3,000 more than that.

It would be miserable, of course. I’d have to hold out for face-to-face sections, which I truly loathe. GDU has lifted all caps from online sections, meaning you can end up with 120 students or more in a writing-intensive course. How on earth would you ever handle any such thing? You couldn’t assess papers. You couldn’t even make the faintest pass at trying to teach. All you could do is rubber-stamp.

Ethically, there’s a limit.

But maybe there’s a limit to this other stuff, too.

Teaching, as miserably paid as it is, provides the only steady, predictable income I have other than Social Security, which is nowhere near enough to live on. The junior-college courses plus the Social Security just about cover most of my expenses, except for property taxes, homeowner’s insurance, and car insurance. If I drew down only enough to cover those latter gouges, I’d be OK. One or two more courses, paid at university rates, could mean that I wouldn’t have to use retirement savings at all. Not as long as I could mount a course on a CMS.

So. Why am I doing this?

Why am I not in the English Department?

Dollar$ and ¢ents, 2014

   So the year has come around the curve and is streaking toward the finish line. Time to take stock of the money predicament.

Turns out it’s not such a predic’ as expected. Really, I expected 2014 to end in Flaming Financial Disaster, what with the car bills and the dog bills and the house bills and the healthcare bills and the jacked-up property taxes and the one. freakingscreaming. EXPENSIVE. thing. after. another.

Last January, I started the year with a cushion of about $11,000 in the bank. Rather than draw down from savings quarterly, as I did in 2013, I decided to estimate the amount I would need for 12 months and pull that out of investments in January: $13,000+.

That was a gulp-making maneuver. Yanking that kind of money out of savings triggers a Bag Lady Syndrome fit in me. But in theory it would all come out in the wash — one way or another, I’d need about that much to live for a year, and trying to calculate how much to take out in Q3, when little or no teaching income is forthcoming, was a verifiable PITA.

And I will say, Q3 was damn scary. I pretty much took up residence at the Mayo Clinic, a mighty pricey hotel, and precious little income was materializing from teaching, editing, or blogging. But in the fall, the piddling pay for three adjunct sections, surprisingly, took up the slack.

I have no idea how much I’m going to end up paying for surgery after surgery after surgery after surgery. Bills come from the Mayo — eleven grand here, fifteen grand there — but they seem to have no meaning. Medicare is picking up some portion of that; Medigap is picking up more. Apparently the victim mark patient has to pay something, but it’s so difficult to tell what it is that even the billing people at the Mayo can’t figure it out. Or at least, they claim they can’t. Right now, every time a check comes in from Medicare B or the Medigap insurer, I just throw it in the Mayo’s direction. That leads them to imagine I’m at least trying to pay the bills, and that, mercifully, has kept them off my back. So far.

Weirdly, despite all the extraordinary expenses, at the end of November the balance in checking was just a few hundred dollars less than the January 1 balance: a little over eleven grand.

But now for the BIG weird:

Hang onto your hats, folks.

The balance in investments and retirement savings at the end of October  was $107,633 more than the January 31 balance.

Yeah, you read that right: one hundred seven thousand six hundred thirty-three DOLLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s after drawing down $13,000 to live on and after paying out $7,350 for my share of the mortgage on the downtown house.

Holy mackerel. And we want to put the Republicans back in charge of the government…WHY?

Hired Help

So, knowing I was about to be rendered too incapacitated to keep up with the labor around the Funny Farm and its north and south forties, I hired some workers to help out. We already had Gerardo, a worthy who relieves me from having to weed, trim, blower, dig, repair, and rake. The redoubtable Gerardo, the indispensable Gerardo. He drops by every couple of weeks, to the tune of $85/hit.

Now we have Luz, a cleaning lady, who also comes around every two weeks: $80 a hit; and Chris, a pool guy, who charges $80/month for once-a-week service. If and when I ever get well, am I going to keep these people on the payroll?

Well, of course, Gerardo will stay, come Hell or high water. But the cleaning lady? The pool guy?

Normally, I dislike hiring cleaning ladies, because they rarely do the job as well as I can and often break or otherwise dork things up. But Luz is an exception (well…not counting for the broken vacuum cleaner and the dislocated the shower doors…). She really is very, very good, and in fact does a better job than I can do. Her efforts, which are considerable, make it possible for me to invite friends to dinner without having to knock myself out cleaning house before they arrive. Overall, she makes my house a much more pleasant place to live…simply because I hate cleaning and put it off until the place is such a rat’s nest that I’m forced to shovel it out.

Do I need Luz? Or rather, will I still need her once I’m back on my feet?

Probably not.

As for Chris: what’s happening there is I’m paying a guy to come once a week to do a job that needs to be done every day. Effectively he relieves me of one day a week of work. On the other hand, when monsoons are not storming, the pool water will self-maintain for several days; if he does the heavy lifting when he shows up on Wednesdays (make that “if he shows up”), the rest is pretty easy for me. And it must be allowed that he finally succeeded in beating back the mustard algae, which took to coating the walls along about the middle of last winter and, once the weather warmed, turned the pool into a mossy fish pond.

However, in November I’ll drain and refill the pool, and once that job’s done, it’ll be very, very easy to maintain the system algae-free. Chris will become majorly redundant.

So: Luz in, Luz out?

I incline to want to keep Luz around. It is almost impossible to find a truly competent cleaning lady, and this one is competent in spades. Luz is the best cleaning lady to cross my path in 35 or 40 years, and on top of that, she’s an extremely nice person, very comfortable to have around. Letting her go could be the height of lunacy.

Okay, so we’ll think about Luz. Now, Chris in, Chris out?

Well, it is nice not to have to stay on top of the swimming pool every living breathing day. On the other hand, $80/month is $20 a week for about 10 minutes of Chris’s time. He ghosts in and out of here so fast that if I’m not actually outdoors when he slides through the side gate, I miss seeing him.  But…if I’m right that the present horror show will resolve along about the middle of December, if I let Chris go I’ll be firing him at Christmastime!!!

Augh.

There’s another way of looking at this: not over the short term (I’ll only need these people until I recuperate) but over the long term (as age advances any recuperation will reverse itself and I’ll again need help to take care of the place).

I like my house and my neighborhood. They’re pretty much perfect for me, especially given that the house is paid off. So much do I like the house and the ’hood that my goal is to age in place. Ideally, I would like to get old here and die here.

To make that happen, I will need someone to help keep the house habitable and someone to deal with the pool (unless I have the pool filled in or covered). When that happens, I’m going to have to pay their wages out of my monthly cash flow. And $ 170/month for Gerardo plus $160 for Luz plus $80 for Chris comes to $410 a month.

Maybe it would be good to make myself accustomed to having to carve that much out of the monthly budget now, rather than having to struggle with it when I’m older, even less able to think clearly than I am now, and probably sick. At this point it would be fairly easy to adjust to the required belt-tightening; in ten years or so, that could be more difficult. If I hang onto this bunch, the staff will be in place and the budget will be in place when the need arises.

On the other hand…one could simply take Luz and Chris’s pay — $ 240/month — and stick it in a rainy-day account, to be used to hire people sometime in the future. If I don’t need the extra help until I’m, say, 80, then such a fund would contain enough to hire maintenance people until I’m 90. And if I’m lucky, I’ll croak over before then.

{chortle!} I don’t know. Gerardo is not going. But as for the other two: it feels like a silly extravagance to hire a housecleaner and a pool guy to do work I can and should do myself. Yet it’s nice. It’s so very nice to have someone else doing this stuff. They may be worth the cost…

A Long Dive off the Deep End?

On the way home from this morning’s business networking group meeting, my accountant (who also happens to be a fellow networker) and I fell into a conversation about the many quotidian distractions from paying work. I mentioned that a prospective client, who I thought had dropped off the radar four months ago, suddenly resurfaced…assuming I would index her 400-page tome on Anglo-Saxon maritime history at the drop of a hat. Her hat, of course.

And that this would come in the middle of the four-week course I’m teaching, the one that crams 16 weeks of instruction into 18 class days. And that I’d agreed to do it for a pittance — I mean, practically Fiverr wages! — in an effort to hang onto the entity that refers these obnoxious projects to me.

We reflected on the appearance, this morning, of a retired professor of economics who craves advice and help on a projected 400-page+ (typeset!) magnum opus, and who asked what I could do for him.

And that my associate editor, who makes it possible for me to take on these ridiculous projects, will soon be winging her way to China for a business/pleasure trip — smack in the middle of the four-week course and the 400-page Anglo-Saxon maritime indexing nightmare project.

And what a joy the advent of the new, brilliant cleaning lady proved to be, since she relieved me from a full day of tedious housecleaning work, which I then filled by completing a tedious (but paying) project.

And then I said, “You know, the problem with all these editorial jobs and teaching jobs is that they take away from what I really want to do, which is to write my own goddamn books, get them online, and build a micro-publishing house to promulgate future works of my own and of a select few clients.”

How can I count the ways the prospect of indexing 400+ pages of Anglo-Saxon maritime history makes me cringe?
How can I say how much I don’t want to fill the month of June with the Campbell’s Condensed Soup version of freshman comp?

How can I express my delight at the prospect of editing 400+ (typeset!) pages of an economic history of the early Catholic church? (Yesh; that would from origins to 1350.)
And how
much do I want to know how the Okan and A′oan bands, residents of a dire post-Apocalyptic future, get from the sere desert below the eastern face of the Sierras to their home counties and what, if anything, they make of the Sasquatch the young lesbian fur trapper kills in the act of saving Fallon Mayr of Cheyne Wells’s ranch foreman’s life?
How curious am I about whether the trapper and the foreman get it on?
And given the choice between indexing, editing, and preparing my own copy for publication, how clearly can I articulate which I would rather do?????

Accountant, as she’s opening the door to climb out of the car and wander off to her own office, says to me THIS:

You know, you are well set. You do not need to do any paying work to live comfortably for the rest of your life, especially considering how frugal you are. It is ridiculous for you to keep doing work you dislike. You could, quite safely, quit the editing business, quit the teaching, and devote all your time to writing and publishing your own books. Why on earth don’t you do it?

Why, indeed?

Life-Careifying My Home

A couple I know recently moved into a venerable life-care community here in Phoenix. They’re not that much older than I am… She has Alzheimer’s in her family and is beginning to show the earliest signs, and he is about ten years older than she. Their two-story house was getting hard for them to negotiate, so they figured now is the time. Another elderly couple — my current role models, come to think of it — are resisting being warehoused in a kennel for old folks, and getting by in their home pretty well, so far.

Within weeks after my mother died and was reduced to an urnful of ashes, my father moved himself out of their house in Sun City and into a Baptist-run old-folkerie called Orangewood. It was one of the early life-care “communities.” (Don’t you hate when the word “c0mmunity” is used to describe some development?) The idea with life-care is that you will move into an apartment in the joint, where, in exchange for a staggering amount of money, you will receive a variety of amenities, and, when the time comes, you will be guaranteed access to a halfway decent nursing home.

This expensive and, in my view, depressing arrangement turned out to be the biggest favor my father ever did for me. It relieved me of the responsibility of having to care for him as he declined into old age and death. He was only 69 when he moved himself in there, but he lived to be 84, and at the age of 80, he had a heart attack that reduced him to a cardiac invalid. Had he still been living in Sun City, I would either have had to get him into a nursing home at that point or would have had to move him in with me. Either scenario would have been a screaming nightmare.

So, occasionally I think I should do the same favor for my son.

But you know…I don’t want to live in one of those places.

For a dark little three-room apartment with an “efficiency” kitchen of the sort you see in motels (a hot-plate-like two-burner stovetop, a small sink, and an under-the-counter fridge), my father and his third wife forked over a $50,000 nonrefundable “endowment” and a monthly payment that was as much as my then-husband and I were paying for a 3,000-square-foot house on a third of an acre of the choicest real estate in North Central Phoenix, with a pool, five bedrooms, a huge country kitchen with breakfast nook, a vast family room, three bathrooms, fireplace, and pool. When I realized what he was paying for the little dump he and Helen were living in, I was just floored.

Now, they did get some amenities:

Access to the institution’s nursing home and, if a lesser level of care was needed, to a studio apartment adjacent to the nursing facility. This was roughly equivalent to long-term care insurance, for which I now pay $107 a month, a figure that can be expected to rise steadily from now into perpetuity.

A dining hall where they were required to take one meal a day and could also choose to take breakfast or a light supper.

The option to have these meals delivered to their apartment. This cost extra.

Semi-weekly light housekeeping.

Electric bills (including air conditioning) were covered. Of course, this meant the institute would decide when the AC would be turned on in the spring…

Access to an on-call doctor. Nevvermind that the guy was a dangerous, irresponsible quack who was enriching himself by defrauding Medicare. (Yes: my father caught him charging Medicare for visits after he (father) had told him and the institute that the guy was to stay away from him. Like all the other old folks there, he was afraid to report this abuse — getting into bad odor with the management would be counterproductive.)

Access to a hobby room. Whoop comma de-doo.

Access to a swimming pool that no one ever used.

Access to a beauty parlor/hair salon/barber shop that dispensed dumpy-looking haircuts.

“Free” shuttle-bus rides to doctors and a grocery store. Nevvermind that this meant once you were done seeing the doctor or dentist, you could sit in the waiting room for several hours until someone came to pick you up — it did defray some of the costs of transportation after one reached the point where one could no longer drive.

  Oh, and also please nevvermind that every time some kitchen worker came to work sick or failed to wash her hands after using the bathroom, a wave of dysentery would sweep through the entire population.

{sigh} Every time I think about the possibility of signing myself into one of those places, I recall not only the amenities but also the limits to the amenities. And I think how much I absolutely positively do NOT want to be warehoused into a kennel for old folks.

So, here’s the question:

Is it possible to stay in one’s paid-off home through one’s dotage by cloning those amenities, for no more than it cost my father to live in Orangewood?

Today, those inflation-adjusted fees are much higher. One newer outfit here in town charges an entry fee of $310,00 to $1.1 million, with monthly fees that range from $2,400 to $4,100 — for one person. The place where my father and his wife lived has been torn down and completely rebuilt, so it now commands an entry fee ranging from $279,900 to $389,900, with monthly fees from $3,040 to $8,130. Entry fees, however, now tend to be at least partly refundable, an improvement over the pay-it-and-lose-it arrangements of the early days.

Well, think about it: $2,400 to $4,100 for base living expenses for one person strikes me as passing exorbitant, especially considering that person likely will find herself in a cramped one-bedroom apartment, with walls through which she can listen to the hard-of-hearing neighbor’s TV blaring.

My base nondiscretionary budget is $620/month. That includes all utilities, phone, DSL, yard care, and long-term care insurance. Add another $167/month for property tax and another $79 for homeowner’s insurance, and about $52 for car insurance, and you get a total nondiscretionary cost of $918 a month. As a practical matter, these expenses come in lower during the fall, winter, and spring, because the budget is based on summer costs, when power and water bills are at their highest.

Everything else, I class as “discretionary.” This category includes clothing, gasoline, food, entertainment, dog care, hair care, personal care and cleaning products, house and pool maintenance, and whatnot. The discretionary budget presently is $1100/month, although sometimes I overspend. Ruby’s endless veterinary bills caused a $300 overrun this month, resulting in $1,400 in discretionary spending for the current budget cycle. So let’s figure that’s a typical range for discretionary spending: $1,100 to $1,400.

What that means is that for everything — all my routine costs, which include nursing home insurance — I’m spending $2,018 to $2,318. That is less than the lowest rate for a mid-range life-care community. And what do I get for the price?

A private pool that I can use any time of the day or night I please, that I can skinny-dip in; and I know who has been in it and what they’ve been doing in it.
A large, low-maintenance yard with fruit trees, climbing roses, and three private garden “outdoor rooms.”
The privilege of keeping pets.
A garage (not an open carport) in which to park my car.
No one on the other side of any of my walls.
Central location.
Brand-new light-rail going in within walking distance.
A large, bright kitchen with a gas stove.
My own propane grill.
More living space than Carter has oats.

Sooo… What do I not get that, say, my father had at his old-folkerie, and what would be entailed in acquiring those amenities?

Access to a nursing home.

The long-term care insurance I have plus Social Security and a 4% drawdown from savings should amply cover foreseeable nursing home costs. As for getting me into it? That’ll be my son’s problem, I suppose. As a practical matter, not all elderly Americans ever need nursing home, and often such care can be delivered in one’s own home (my insurance covers in-home nursing care). At age 60, your lifetime chance of needing nursing care is only 50%. If you have a policy with a 90-day elimination period, a typical 60-year-old’s chance of using that policy drops to 35% — meaning you have a 65% chance of dying or recovering within 90 days of admission.

A dining hall providing two meals a day.

It’s impossible to describe how dreadful those meals were! Since eating and drinking are the two major pleasures of my life, I would be suicidal if I had to live in a place that served up swill like that, especially given that about twice a year the stuff made everybody in the institution good and sick.

Option to have meals delivered, for an extra fee.

What part of Chinese order-out is hard to understand?

Okay, that’s flippant. But as a practical matter, many excellent meals can be delivered, for a reasonable price. On the low end, there’s a social service agency called Meals on Wheels, which provides healthy food for seniors in need. For those of us who can afford to buy groceries, grocery stores deliver these days! And most grocery stores stock various kinds of prepared meals, either in the frozen-food cases or at the deli. Here in Phoenix, both AJ’s Fine Foods and Whole Foods sell complete, fully cooked gourmet meals, and both stores deliver. 

Would having groceries and take-out meals delivered raise your food bills? Sure. But I’ll bet it wouldn’t add another $2000 a month to my existing bills. And the cost would be offset by lower gasoline bills.

Light housekeeping

The going rate for a cleaning lady here is $80/visit. So two house-cleanings a month, which is what my father got, would set you back all of $160. Like food prep, this obviously costs more than DIY cleaning, but it’s not prohibitive…and it would not increase costs much more than I’m spending.

Electric bills covered

For $4,000 a month? Seriously? Utility bills in these places are not free; they’re included in a staggering monthly fee.

Access to an on-call doctor.

I have access to an on-call doctor. Young Dr. Kildare’s office is within walking distance of my house. And he is not an incompetent, dishonest quack who hands out sedating, brain-dazing, addictive pills like candy. If I need help on a weekend, I call his office and get the doctor who is on call.

Access to a hobby room.

Be still, my heart! I have two spare rooms, one of which is now dedicated to my jewelry-making hobby. My office (which would not exist if I lived in an old-folkerie, because of course the presumption would be made that I do not need office space) is fully equipped, spacious, and dedicated fully to my writing and editing business. And I don’t have to share it with anyone.

Access to a swimming pool that no one ever used.

I use my pool several times a day during the summer. Cost is nominal, and the light jobs of cleaning and maintaining it amount to mild, healthy exercise. If and when I reach the point where I need someone to clean and dose it with chemicals, regular pool service runs about $100/month and includes the chemicals.

Access to a beauty parlor/hair salon/barber shop that dispensed dumpy-looking haircuts.

Granted, I can spend a startling amount on Shane: $70 for a haircut. However, my hair looks incredible, and as it gets longer, it has to be done less and less often. At this point I’m visiting him about once every six months. Here, too, this seeming “benefit” is not free to old-folkerie residents. You pay for it with your amazing monthly fee, and if you don’t care for dumpy-looking haircuts and drugstore coloring kits, you end up having to track down and pay the likes of Shane anyway.

“Free” shuttle-bus rides to doctors and a grocery store.

What cost a free ride? Is it really worth spending three, four, even five hours sitting in some doctor’s waiting room, just to save a few bucks? Another circumstance, I’d say, that would lead me to consider suicide.

With grocers, drugstores, and Amazon delivering for little or no cost, I think I could afford a taxicab for the few trips I’d need to take around town. The amount saved on car registration, auto insurance, gasoline, depreciation, maintenance, and repairs would probably cover most of the cab fare.

It looks very much to me as if I can turn my own home into a life-care facility, if need be, with surprisingly little effort and, compared to an expensive institution, not all that much more cost than I’m already paying to live in my home.

Let’s consider what those extra costs would be:

Lifecareifying the house
Item Cost Times/month Total
Light housecleaning 80 2 160
Extra yard care 75 2 150
Groceries, Whole Foods 6 4 24
Groceries, AJs 6 4 24
Groceries, Safeway 12.95 1 12.95
Pool care 100 weekly 100
Lightrail rides 32 monthly pass 32
Cab fare (senior citizen) $12/$40 ride 2 80
Less monthly gasoline $80+/month 2 refills/mo. -80
Total added cost: 502.95

So, the additional cost, above and beyond what it costs to live now, to approximate the added benefits of living in an old-folkerie, comes to about $503. Innaresting.

Let’s see how that translates when added to the existing cost of living here at the Funny Farm.

Discretionary 1100
Nondiscretionary 620
Added old-age costs 503
50% Murphy’s Law 251.5
Total old-age cost 2,474.50  / month
Total annual old-age cost 29,694
Percent of savings: 4.60%

This assumes a 50% “Murphy’s Law Tax” on the projected old-age costs. And it produces a figure to cover ALL costs, including whatever indulgences one pleases, that is comparable to the BASE costs on the low end. Total annual drawdown to cover this amount would in theory be 4.6%, but in fact it would be significantly less, because Social Security would cover more than half of it.

Suppose, though, that Murphy’s Law applied to the TOTAL projected costs of living after one can no longer drive. Then what?

Discretionary 1100
Nondiscretionary 620
Added old-age costs 503
Plus 50%, Murphy’s Law 1112
Total old-age cost 3,335  / month
Total annual old-age cost 40,020
Percent of savings: 6.20%

In this scenario, we end up with a cost comparable to the mid-range cost of living in a life-care community, totaling about 6.2% of total savings. But here, too, some $14,400 of the cost is covered by Social Security, meaning the drawdown from retirement savings would be significantly less than that: just under 4% per annum.

So, even in the worst-case scenario, aging in place ends up costing the same as or less than residing in a life-care community. And for the price, I get a house — not an apartment in a people warren — plus the cuisine of my choice, the doctor of my choice,  privacy, and independence.

Loafing

My goodness, it’s nice to be able to loaf in the sack until after the sun comes up! All of the paying work got done toward the end of last week. And now the house is cleaned (and cleaned again), the bookkeeping done, and the mountain of paper shoveled off the desk.

Peace!

Cassie the Corgi has been blowing her coat for the past month, an activity that did not help the predicament caused by my failing to clean house for two months. Vast quantities of dog dunes have been shoveled up and dumped in the trash; the floors vacuumed, mopped, and steam-mopped; the sheets washed and pillowcases ironed; the bathrooms cleaned; the kitchen cleaned; the caked-on grease scoured off the stove; the nonfunctional stove burner repaired. YES!

What could be better?

It looks like the magazine writing course will not make. An enrollment of twelve is required to make it go. A week or so ago eight students had signed up, but since then a couple have withdrawn, and only six remain. And that’ll be fine — I can do without having to wrangle two online courses this semester. The Eng. 102 section will take up the slack if the writing course doesn’t materialize; otherwise income from said wanna-be Writers with a Capital W will come under the heading of “pure gravy.”

At any rate, until such time as I can believe that section will fly, I’m not putting in any more unpaid hours in course prep. LOAF!

Today’s income-inequality rant at The New York Times holds forth on the alleged upward skew of consumer spending — theoretically, as the rich get richer, fewer mass-market appliances and low-end restaurant meals are getting bought, presumably because the rich are getting a whole lot richer and the rest of us are getting a whole lot poorer. “Those consumers who have capital like real estate and stocks and are in the top 20 percent are feeling pretty good,” the reporter quotes a Price-Waterhouse-Coopers exec.

No kidding? If you count the savings drawdown and the Social Security and the teaching income as “earnings,” I’m in the top 50 percent, and I’m feeling pretty good.

O’course, that’s not counting the outrageous amounts the investments earned over the past several months, during the recent rabid bull market. Add  just three months of those proceeds into the AGI and you push me into the top 25 percent of US earners. Precious little of that is coming into reach of American Express and its retailer customers, of course — it’s banked against old age. Nor is it to be imagined that those are real figures: I think of that kind of thing as pretend money, easy come-easy go, poker chips on the craps table.

But for the nonce, at least, having made the 2014 drawdown before the hot air started to seep out of the stock market, I’m feeling moderately confident. In 2014, there should be plenty to live on, even if the current spate of outrageous unplanned expenses continues for several more months. Now, 2015 may be a different story. But we’ll get to that when we get to it.

At any rate, this year, thanks to the chair having come up with the online 102 section and my having volunteered serendipitously to take a summer section, teaching income will be more than normal even in the absence of this spring’s maga-writing course.

How on earth does that man do it? He seems to just BE there, every time I need a new way to earn a chunk of money. This has happened time after time. Someone upstairs must have appointed the guy to be my guardian angel.

So…what to do today?

1. Bill the two major clients, a project that will take a while since I haven’t kept up with billing.
2. Update the imaginary map for the novel and ship that off to the artist.
3. Organize the cookbook recipes in a sane sequence.
4. Delete images from Word recipe files; track down the jpegs and save them to a new subdirectory with numbered filenames that will make them appear in the order in which they need to be inserted in the layout.
5. Call the vet; arrange appointment to inspect new pup (just a month or so to go!) and get new shots for Cassie.
6. Figure out a way to ask the vet about how to feed real food to a pup, or when to start.
7. Go for a dog-and-human walk.
8. If any time remains, continue chapter 1 of the novel’s sequel.

Huh. I suppose this means I’m going to have to get up and do something, eh?