Funny about Money

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ―Edmund Burke

Golden Shepherd? German Retriever?

This dog here…

Charley

…is not a golden retriever. Or even an English retriever, the proper name for a “white golden retriever.” He’s a German shepherd tricked out to look like an English retriever.

HOLY mackerel, what an adventure last night.

M’hiijto has gone off to southern Colorado to visit his ancient grandmother, leaving Charley the Alleged Retriever with me and Ruby the Corgi for a few days and nights.

About a half an hour or 45 minutes after our little tribe had shut off the lights and gone to bed last night, somebody came up to the house and apparently tried to get in. Charley was in his accustomed nest at the front end of the hall, where he can see the front door in case his Human shows up (hope springs eternal in the canine breast). All of a sudden, that dog EXPLODED. I mean, Ger-shep explosion: high insane rage explosion. He started out loud and angry, got more and more emphatic and then rose to GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THAT BED, GRAB YOUR DAMN GUN AND GET OUT HERE!

Holy shit.

Welp, I grabbed the phone, not a pistol, and flew up the hall, pursued by Ruby, who was barking LIKE HE SAID! LIKE HE SAID!

Charley was just insane, trying to get out the door, trying to get through the window, roaring like a freaking lion.

They hadn’t set off the motion sensitive lights, but they’d called for backup. Someone drove up in front of the house; they jumped in the vehicle and it shot off down the street.

So I guess Charley scared them off.

Gooood dog, Charley!

Author: funny

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2 Comments

  1. GOOD DOG, CHARLEY! GOOD DOG! GOOD DOG, RUBY!
    Dang, Woman! You can’t stay out of trouble to save your life, can ya? SMH
    Seriously, I am soooo glad that Charley was there, but that’s disturbing that the motion sensitive lights didn’t come on. Also, isn’t it pretty unusual for burglars to break in when someone’s home? I’ve read that most burglars choose daylight hours because most people are at work, knocking/ringing the doorbell first to see if anyone’s home. I mean, WTF?!?

    • I haven’t gone out to see if the lights were messed with. But will this evening, I guess.

      Rapists and home invaders, of course, wish to visit when the occupant is home. And the drug use around here defies belief…many of our visitors (and neighbors who dwell in the alleys) are stoned out of their heads and so don’t operate according to any rational set of strategies.

      Home invasions are not uncommon here. Some years ago, a mother ran a short errand, leaving a girl in her mid-teens and two younger kids at home for the few minutes she expected to be gone. As soon as she left, two thugs showed up at the front door. Rang the doorbell — the kids could see them and knew not to answer. So the men proceeded to try to break in the front door. The kids barricaded themselves inside a front bedroom whose window looked directly out onto that door. The thugs COULD SEE THE KIDS and still persisted in breaking in the door. The kids called the cops and their mother. The only reason the creeps didn’t get in was the cops showed up about the same time the mom did and the guys took off.

      Then one evening Queer John and one of his roommates were home, catty-corner across the street from the Funny Farm. QJ had gone to bed, but his roommate was watching TV. Four people, one of them a woman, came over the back wall and climbed in the kitchen window, which the two men had left open — mistakenly thinking they were in a safe neighborhood. The sh!theads beat up the roommate and broke into QJ’s bedroom, demanding to know where the drugs were. For a change, QJ was trying to go straight (Well, in certain clearly defined aspects, that is. 😀 ) and he didn’t have any dope in the house. QJ managed to get out through the back Arcadia door and run down the road. One of the perps chased him down the street waving a pistol at him. When Dave (proprietor of Dave’s Used Car Lot, Marina, and Weed Arboretum, directly across the street from my house and QJ’s) heard the racket, he came out of his house — unarmed — to see what the fuss was about, and saw this guy chasing QJ. When the guy saw Dave he got spooked and the gang fled.

      That is just life in central Phoenix. If you want to be safe, you have locks on every door and window, an alarm system, steel security doors with bump-proof deadbolts, and a pistol or (preferably) a shotgun.

      LOL…I guess that’s why they call it the Wild West, eh?