Out at the Great Desert University, rumors float on the breeze like leaves in the autumn air. We our told that Our Leader will make a momentous announcement on the first day of the fall semester, in a week or so. Nothing anyone hears indicates the contents of this message will please the peons. Some expect to hear of massive layoffs. Others expect a hiring freeze. Still others predict we will be told the satellite campuses are to be deemed “teaching campuses” and the main campus will be the “research institution.” Paranoia rises. The facts support the general angst but confirm none of the dire predictions.
Factoid:
The university’s budget has been slashed to and peeled off the bone.
Factoid:
Our Leader’s elaborate building campaign, which could bankrupt a healthy institution in good times, continues apace.
Factoid:
Caps on class sizes have risen into the stratosphere. Lecturers and instructors — nontenurable faculty who teach four or five sections a semester — groan under obscene courseloads, with ten times more students than anyone could reasonably be expected to teach adequately. Tenure-track and tenured faculty also find themselves facing classrooms filled with more students than they can teach. Faculty are eliminating most or all writing assignments and assessing performance on the basis of a few machine-graded, computerized exams.
Factoid:
HR staff have been seen acting strangely. They refuse to meet your eyes, and at “benefits fairs” their responses to questions make it clear they’ve been told, on pain of dire consequences, to keep their tongues on a tight leash. One of them remarked to a colleague, semiprivately, “Oh…you don’t know what’s happening.”
Factoid:
Administrative staff who do know what’s up have leaked hints that something very grim is slouching toward Bethlehem.
What to Make of It?
Heaven only knows. I hesitate to assume the worst, although knowing that place, anything is possible. If we do indeed face layoffs, I would be high on the list of the expendable. My job is exempt, meaning my contract says I can be canned at any time, for no reason. Although one could argue that our office supports the university’s core mission of research and publication, others could say faculty could get by just fine without us. If the bad news is “only” a hiring freeze (unlikely: the last hiring freeze was not announced from the balcony with trumpets blaring fanfares), my job will still be at risk, since the director of the graduate program whose students staff our office walked with short notice this summer. A hiring freeze will mean he can’t be replaced, which will mean his program will die instantly, which will mean my office will quickly go away because my staff will disappear. In either event, I lose my job.
I’m now eligible to take early Social Security payments, although I would prefer not to. If I collect SS now, the amount will be peanuts. If I wait until I’m 66 (or even 65, when Medicare kicks in), my income will be slightly more generous. I’ll be 65 in 22 months; COBRA will cover me for 18 months, and so if I can hang onto my job for just four more months, I can at least keep myself insured if I’m laid off.
Being averse, as I am, to jumping off the high wire without a safety net, I reconnoitered the resources I could use to survive if I’m canned. Figuring 4% of my retirement savings as a drawdown and subtracting from that the 12 grand that’s going into the Investment House, investment income right now would be $10,254. Because I haven’t yet applied the Renovation Loan payoff fund toward principal but instead have stashed the money in low-risk mutual funds, I have $9,848 in cash that I could live on. The university has to pay me for 175 of my 275 hours of accrued vacation time at my regular pay rate; the figure on my paycheck seems to says that amount is $3,214, a little more than one month’s net pay (I believe they have to pay my gross rate for this, which would come to $5,280). Also, the state pays retiring employees who have accrued 1,000 hours of sick leave a kind of severance bonus in the amount of 50% of their hourly wage per sick-leave hour; for me this would come to $17,160. It’s not paid in one swell foop, however: they dole it out over three years. So, in the first year after severance I would get $5,714. Pretax Social Security, if I started taking it this year, would add $12,228 to the pot.
Amazingly, all these bits and pieces add up to something close to my net pay. Though the bottom line is pretax, few of the figures that go into it are earned income, and so my taxes might be relatively low.
COBRA will inflate my healthcare premiums from $30 to $473 per month, but even that would be affordable for a couple of years. It would be tight, but I might not be forced to move out of my home, especially if I could engineer a steady flowof freelance work.
Thank goodness I saved the Renovation Loan snowflakes to double as an emergency fund, instead of paying them directly to the loan principle!
Matter o’fact, the scenario above isso positive that I wondered what would happen if I delayed collecting Social Security. Could I get by until I can collect full Social Security payments? Well….
Foregoing Social Security for two more years, I’d have to come up with an extra $7,000 to make ends meet, just barely.
But that’s not unreasonable: I could pull it off with a part-time job — maybe greeting shoppers at the WalMart! Here, too, a steady flow of freelance work would do the trick. At The Copyeditor’s Desk we’re hoping to make $1,000 a month per person by the end of the year. If we meet that goal, next year’s $12,000 annual income would just about replace the amount of Social Security I’d get if I started drawing payments now.
So, if they can me, the world is not going to end. I may have to sell my home, but not right away. There will at least be time to see if I can get by, cobbling together a living from four to six different sources. A year or so hence, though, I’ll have to either cut my expenses drastically or find income to replace the one-time vacation pay reimbursement and the three years of sick leave payments. The slightly increased Social Security payments I would have by waiting to collect until I’m 65 will not substitute for those amounts.
I don’t like it. But I’ll survive.
