Coffee heat rising

funny

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And now: Eeeeeeps!

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WTF? 

Something there is about that sky that is giving this old bat the Serious Creeps. 

Further creepifying: I dunno what the “something” is. 

What we have out there is…hmmm….

heat

high, fat cumulus style clouds

heat

mugginess

heat

high, thin  web-like clouds drifting in with the cumulus clouds

heat

mugginess….

WTF? What IS it trying to say to us?

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My guess is that we’ll find out along about 9:00 or 10:00 tonight. And the utterance will be KERR-BOOOOOOM!!!!!

Yeah. Looks to me like quite the desert storm a-drifting in.

Wunderground, au contraire, predicts a 6% chance of precip.

Yeah. Right, guys. Didja accidentally drop a zero next to that six?

{Gasp!} {Pant!!}

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Lordie, it is HOTTER THAN THE HUBS OF HADES out there. Two o’clock in the afternoon and it’s 100 degrees in the deepest dark of the back-porch shade structure. Or… 105 degrees, according to Wunderground.

So much for any bright ideas I might have had about making a run on the corner Fry’s or the Sprouts a few blocks down the road.

Non-negotiable!

This summer does indeed seem hotter than normal. But it’s really not that hot: 100 degrees is par for the course…if anything, it’s a little cool for an August afternoon.

But it’s humid (in Arizona terms…that ain’t very). Some clouds are coming up around the horizon…and hereabouts, any moisture in the air makes the air seem hotter than it is.

At any rate: so much for any planned junkets to the nearby stores. I ain’t a-goin’ out in THAT stuff!!! Those stores open as dawn cracks, so it should be possible to shoot into the Fry’s and out before the real heat comes up.

Oddly, it seems a little hot for late August in lovely uptown Phoenix. That’s because the wildest of the monsoon season normally strikes in August: billowing thunderclouds, crazy rainstorms. The rain will usually cool the temperature into the 90s before sunset. Maybe.

We shall see. 

Wetter than a By-Gawd!

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Yech! This has got to be one of the nastier mornings I’ve had the privilege of living through. By the time Ruby and I got back from circumnavigating the park, I was SOAKED with sweat and, presumably, dew. She’s still swilling water, poor li’l thing.

Ugly weather! Sticky, gray, and overcast.

Ohhhh well. At least that meant fewer dog-lovers to have to get around.

WHY are people so stupid about their dogs???  If I hear one more idiot coo, “Ohhh, don’t worry…they just want to pwayyyyyy,” I’m going to wring the turkey’s neck. And maybe his dog’s neck, too.

{Nooooo, stupid. She just wants to remove your dog’s head…}

Anyway, we made it around the park without having to dodge the usual complement of those clowns, mostly because of the icky weather.

Walked past the house where the scion of the family got caught fu*cking some girl who was a few days below the age of consent. He went to jail. His parents went bankrupt. Their once-handsome home is now a decrepit wreck. What a disaster…all the way around!

Something similar happened to a friend of mine. She managed to escape bankruptcy and hang onto her home. These folks seem to have lost the house.

Wow!  If you’ve got a teenaged son, be sure and teach him the meaning of the word “jail-bait.” Yes, sexist, yes nasty term…but it’s the dead-on truth. Get caught diddling an under-age girl, and the government will destroy you AND your family. No kidding.

Hot. Wet. And soggy out there. Mighty glad to get back inside the Funny Farm.

Let’s check the calendar…what new horrors today?

Not many: that’s for sure. Too hot for horrors, I guess!

😀  Seriously: it is too hot to go abroad. So you can’t get into very many shenanigans. Alas.

Okay, I give up….

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Tooling along halfway through today’s FaM post, when WordPress CRASHED the post. Can’t find it. Can’t reconstruct it.

AAAAARRRGHHHH!

Like we don’t have enough frustration in our ordinary boring lives?

So: toss it all, forget it all, start over from scratch and f*ck it all. Especially the latter. Grrrrrrrrr!

My son having purloined my vehicle, I need to walk through the 100-degree heat to the nearest grocery store to get food and treats for the Queen of the Corgis. Either that or pay an Uber driver to tote me over to the store.

LOL! Speaking of frustration…

It looks like he has also purloined whatever wine or beer remained in the house…though truth to tell, I think the stock has been low or empty for several days. The main issue is dog food. But…we have half-a-dozen cans hiding on the shelf, and about a third of a bag of kibble. So it looks like I can wait until tomorrow morning and hike down to the Albertson’s or the Sprouts to get that stuff, rather than hiring Uber to drive me right this g.d. minute.

As for the beer…meh! That can wait until tomorrow, too. Or until someday.

LOL!

Y’know, this situation gets eye-openinger and eye-openinger. What it reveals, incredibly, that if it were not for the heat, I would not need to own a car at all. 

No kidding! Not to say Can you imagine?

This house is within a few minutes’ walk of two major supermarkets (Albertson’s, Fry’s), a gourmet hippy-dippy store (Sprouts), a community clinic (in the Albertson’s shopping center!), a car rental lot, a computer repair shop, a clothing store, a veterinary, …one can go on and on. Between those and Amazon, there’s really no need to leave the neighborhood, except maybe to make a run on the doctor’s or the dentist’s office…for which you can rent a cab or an Uber. Add to that the train running up and down Main Drag West and the busses on Main Drag West, Main Drag East, Main Drag North, and Main Drag South…and…well…

Seriously: why own a car at all??? 

Think of the sheer volume of cash you could save by using the public transit and the local taxi services…only when you need them? Between the taxes and the upkeep and the fuel, a car really is a hole in the ground into which to pour money. If you organized your local travel needs logically enough, you really would not need to own a vehicle.

And dayum! If the roads here were safe for the purpose, a good bicycle would almost eliminate the need for any gasoline-powered chariot.

Well, of course: they’re not safe for that (or any) purpose. But that notwithstanding, the proximity of so many stores and services here cuts out the need for a good 90% of gasoline-powered transit, here in the ‘Hood.

Seriously: I’m thinking I may not buy another car. And I’m beginning to wonder WHY that hasn’t been obvious to me before now.

Interesting, isn’t it? You get so much in the habit of doing things in thus-and-such an established way, that you don’t think of the alternatives. 

 

And further(glub!)more….

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As we were saying about what a fine, wet, HOT soggy morning this is…BE GLAD, BE VERY GLAD that you are not a lawn dude.

Oh aaaaagh! What a job! 

It’s 11:30 in the morning. Hotter than the Hubs outdoors. Ninety-five degrees, 15 percent humidity. Coming on to noon, and I’m sitting here exhausted from the strenuous job of loafing that has soaked up most of my morning. Just about the time I decide believe I’ll take a li’l nap, what do I get but
brrrrrrrraaaaaahhhhhblassssstttwrrrrrrrrr!!!!…. 

ohhhh shit!

Gerardo’s guys!

They roar around. They blast around. They fling around. They charge around…on and on and on.

No nap for the lazy one! 😀

Now I’ll have to wait for them to get done so I can give them a check.

I should whine, right?

Honestly, I do not understand how those guys hold up in this unholy heat! Slamming around and banging around and roaring around and hauling around: Augh!  

About 15 minutes of that job would kill me.

Which, o’course, is why I hire them…. But selfishly, crabbily, old-bitchily…I sure wish they’d time their visits outside the napping hour!

😀

OMG! Lookit that: he’s cleaning stuff out of the freakin’ pool!!!! I can’t believe it.

I mean, how awesome can these guys get? <3

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Forked over a hundred bucks to them. Kind of a stiff bill, until you think…uhm,,,,how would I like to be out there slamming around in 100-degree heat? And how many lawn dudes would skim the floating stuff out of the pool???

My heroes!

Actually, they’re Ruby’s heroes. 

She sits and lurks and waits for them. And when they finally show up, she goes in for the attack and loves them into submission. 

My gawd, that dog loves those lawn dudes!

I don’t know how she knows it’s Lawn Dude Day, but she surely does. And she IS waiting for them.

Weird.

Life is weird. Dogs are weirder.