Y’know…having lived in sprawling Southwestern cities all of my adult life, this factoid never occurred to me. But…y’know what? YOU DON’T NEED A CAR TO LIVE IN A CITY LIKE PHOENIX.
Early adolescence in San Francisco, taught me that…well…yeah. You don’t need a car to live conveniently in the City, as my mother and I used to call SF. San Francisco has (or had, at the time) premier public transit. You’d never wait more than ten or fifteen minutes for a bus or train to come by.
But Phoenix, a hub of blue-collar dorkishness, is NOT like San Francisco. Not even close. Phoenix is more like Los Angeles. Or Long Beach, where I had the un-privilege of spending my high-school years. Wherever you’re goin’ in Southern California, you can’t get there from here…not without a car.
To the extent that Phoenix and L.A. have trains, you don’t wanna ride on them…not unless you enjoy being pestered by panhandlers and oversexed bums. Yeah, there are busses, but by and large they don’t run on time, they’re filthy, and they also tend to harbor folks that you prefer not get too close to you. (“Too close” being “in the same county….”)
But…
Over the past week or ten days, I’ve made two disoveries that change ALL of that:
a) You don’t need a car; AND
b) You don’t have to ride on the off-putting public transit, either.
Why?
BECAUSE OF UBER.
Turns out that during the past few months and years, Uber has become an enormous success here.
Yeah. You can get from Point A to Point B in a private car, hired out by its owner to Uber, for less than a taxicab costs. The cars are clean, you feel reasonably safe in them, they show up in a timely way, and the cost is within reason.
Not only that, but a guy who drives for Uber lives three houses down the street from me! And he’s not the only Uber driver in the general vicinity.
Dayum!
This changes everything.
****
My son got mad at me and, in consequence, he stole my car. It’s parked at his house — presumably locked inside his garage.
I do not feel like bickering with him, so I decided, in a phrase, ohhh fu*k it! Let him have the damn thing.
And that’s when I discovered that Uber is everywhere. Even three houses down the road. No kidding. One of the neighbors is driving for Uber!
I can easily get from just about any Point A to just about any Point B (or C, or D, or whatEVER), and with a cell phone, I can call Uber from anywhere.
And y’know what? Just now the only reason I want that car back is so I can sell it to some other sucker!
KeeeeRAAP! Some ba*tard just shot at our cop helicopter!
In a moment of misguided chumminess