Coffee heat rising

Close One!

Every now and again — for indiscernible reasons — your common sense blanks out, leaving you with absolutely no idea of how to cope with your surroundings and how to cope with the shenanigans going on around you. Ever notice that?

This morning, the errant brain happened to wander back thirty or forty years to my college days, back when I dated the First Great Love of My Life…a guy my father called (aptly enough, as it developed) Shithead. Me? I thought he was just the coolest, most wonderful thing that ever came along.

S.H. was the first guy who managed to get virginal little me into the sack. I was a sophomore at the University of Arizona at the time, so I would have been about 17. (Yeah: I started there a year early, before finishing high school.)

We had met at the school’s swimming pool, where we both were hanging out over the summer. He invited me over to his rented house, and before ya knew it, we were off and running. And everything else-ing!

I had invited him to my home, where he spent a weekend. During that time, my parents developed an instantaneous and passionate loathing for him. Apparently they recognized, right off the bat, that he’d already wrangled me into the sack. And in their minds: a virgin was what I was supposed to be and a virgin was what I was meant to be on my wedding night.

Heh! That didn’t work out so well, eh?

Well, they had no luck disconnecting me from the guy. Our relationship continued through my sophomore year and into the summer of my junior year. He was a year or two older than I. After that first year, I spent my remaining summers in Tucson, ostensibly attending summer school.

One afternoon, we were loafing together in the sack. He happened to say that his best friend, whose wife was about to deliver their first child, had taken up with a cocktail waitress that he’d met in a bar. And that he was merrily and happily fuc*ing her.

What grand fun, eh?

I was astonished! Here’s the guy’s wife, about to give birth to his child, and he’s screwing some barmaid! 

When I suggested this was perhaps not altogether kosher, he explained that it was all right because, said he, “his wife can’t give him any.”

No kidding!

She’s SO advanced in pregnancy with HIS child that she can’t accommodate his dong, so he goes out and finds a chippie who can.

The boggle minds!

That was it for Paul. I threw him out of my life right then and there. My parents were right, eh?

Ohhh my, what drama ensued!

He showed up at my apartment and carried on (and on…and on…) in front of my roommates and the neighbors, begging me to come back. I told him to get lost.

{sob!}

Eventually, he gave up and went away. And good riddance, thought I!

But…one is never rid of this, that, and the other, is one?

Years later, I was producing a research publication for Arizona State University. It was published out of the university president’s office. So…one day I go to a faculty meeting…and damned if he isn’t there! 

No kidding. He’s gone to work for ASU, spewing out PR for that august institution. And damned if he isn’t working for the university president’s office!

GAAAAHHH! 

Well. I seriously thought about quitting my job, right then and there.

But truth to tell, I couldn’t afford to do that. Plus by then I was married, so I had a husband to lurk between him and me.

Mercifully, this time around nothing much ensued from our re-encounter. He didn’t last long at the Great Desert University. I did: remained in the editor’s job for several more years. And was much relieved not to see him again.

Not finding him on the Web just now. Several others by the same name come up, but too clearly none of them are our Paul.

Strange territory, the Internet…

Pure Nit-Wittitude!

What WAS the matter with me that I didn’t know any better?

  • Why did I fail to listen to my parents’ opinions and advice?
  • How could I have failed to see what a cad the boyfriend was?
  • What about the jerk was so attractive that it overrode the attractiveness of other, much more decent and desirable men?
  • And what on EARTH was the matter with me that I didn’t get up out of his bed and walk out of his life, the time that he went on and on about how clever his buddy was for diddling some waitress, because the buddy’s wife was so advanced in pregnancy that she couldn’t accommodate his dong?

Yeah: love goes blind at the garden gate. But at some point the garden gate should swing open so you could see inside the yard, wouldn’t you think?

There’s only one explanation, really…and it’s stupidity. I was just too stump-dumb stupid to see what kinda guy he really was.

My parents just REVILED the man. And no, it’s not an exaggeration to say that if I’d married him or just gone off with him, I might never have seen my parents again. And…you understand…these were doting parents who devoted their entire life’s effort and {money} to bringing up their only child. 

If I had married P.J. (let us call him), I would very likely never have seen my parents again. Not unless he predeceased them: an unlikely chance.

That should have been obvious to me. And it was…sort of…but stumbling around there at the garden gate, I chose to ignore it. When I should have thrown him out of my life, I didn’t.

It was, mercifully, his own stupidity and carelessness that did him in, where I was concerned.

There we were one afternoon, loafing in the sack together, when the subject of his best buddy came up.

Dear Buddy was a married man…one who had recently taken up with a waitress he’d met in some café. So, there we are, P.J. and I, chatting on idly, when he tells me that Buddy was fully justified in f*cking his current floozy because he wasn’t “getting any” from his wife.

Uh huh. Wife was seven or eight months advanced into pregnancy. She was on the verge of giving birth…and she was accordingly bloated, uncomfortable, and miserable. Consequently, she wasn’t putting out for her husband just then.

P.J. saw this as a good reason for Buddy to jump into the sack with some chippy he’d met in passing.

Uh huh….

All the months of my parents’ telling me (incessantly!) what a jerk the guy was had made exactly zero impression on me. But that one moment of revelation did the job. This guy was a jerk. 

And…hey, stupid! If he thought it was OK for his buddy to do that to his wife, he will one day think it’s OK to do the same to you! 

Wow! Amazing, isn’t it, what one moment of lights-on will do for you?

It was out the door for me that night.

I told him to get lost. He threw a good 15 melodramatic sh!t-fits, followed me home, pestered me no end…but no, I never relented.

Welp…today he’s living what appears to be the good life in the Midwest. For awhile — unbeknownst to me — he apparently worked at the Great Desert University while I was there editing a research periodical. My last name, by then, was much different from the one he knew. But…he was a pretty smart guy and very likely knew I was there. Still…if he realized I was lurking around the President’s office, he never revealed himself to me: I never recognized him walking across the campus and, thank all the Gods Above and Below, never ended up in a faculty meeting with him.

What a bizarre experience, taken from beginning to end. And really: the upshot of my own stupidity.

😮

Love Escapes Blindness at the Garden Gate…

My father openly called him a sh!thead. My mother didn’t use that kind of language, but she made it more than clear that she agreed with my father’s assessment of my Dearly Beloved Boyfriend, that junior year at the university.

Ooohhhboy, did they loathe the guy! 

And y’know, from the vantage point of decades, I can see they were right.

Real right. He was a dyed-in-the-wool jerk.

It took him to teach me that, not my parents. 

LOL! I dated him for…what? two and a half years, as an undergraduate. That’s how long it took for me to figure out that…well…yeah: he was a jerk. 

How’d I find out?

Well… One afternoon we were laying in the sack, after a lively frolic. Talkin’, as old loving couples will do. The subject of his best buddy’s wife came up.

Buddy and Wife were a couple who had been married for…what? maybe three years? Whatever: they weren’t kids. He had a full-time job. She was a loyal spouse and all…

By this time, Wife was advanced in pregnancy. Like…six or eight months along.

As we loafed in the sack, Dear Boyfriend was going on about how brilliant his buddy was for picking up a chippie, whom he was merrily diddling on the side. You understand: Buddy was a married man. One whose wife was about to produce his first child for him. 

Yeah.

I don’t remember whether I made some judgmental comment about this state of affairs. Probably not…probably more like asked some naive question. WhatEVER: in the course of conversation, Dear Boyfriend remarked that it was really a good thing that his pal had gone out and picked up a floozy, since the wife was so advanced in pregnancy, she couldn’t entertain him. “A man,” said he, “has gotta have it!”

Uhm. Yeah.

Evidently my parents had somethin’ in their assessment of his character: they believed him to be a scoundrel.

When he said that, I thought, “My parents are right! This guy is a TOTAL lout!”

Within a couple of days, I gave him the heave-ho. And I’ll tellya: his heart was broken! 

Oh, the drama! Oh, the tears! …And oh! f**k you, pal! Out he went. 

My friends were abhorred. (Of course, they didn’t know about the uber-pregnant wife.) My parents were delighted. Dear Boyfriend was shattered. I was disgusted.

Whew!! Close one!

I was lucky that I didn’t marry him…because I fully intended to.

Not until he explicitly TOLD me what my life was gonna be like if I married him did I realize what a raving jerk he was. This, despite my parents having told me so, time after time after time.

Talk about love going blind at the garden gate...or, in my case, going deaf. I simply refused to hear what they said. Not until he spoke for himself (the idiot!) did his unadulterated jerkitude register with me. To this day, I can’t believe I was lucky enough that the guy let his mouth babble on — while we were laying in our own coital bed!! — so as to reveal what a gutter rat he was. And to reveal that my parents were right about him….

LOL! I suppose the moral of the story is if you’re a jerk, learn to keep your mouth shut. Or maybe…I dunno…pay attention to what your parents say about the current Love of Your Life. 

😀

Awww, jeez! Guys!!!!

Dare to sit down to breakfast, and ARF!!!!

Get up to see what the Hound is arfing at, and see Gerardo’s wondrous gang of yard dudes out front.

Dayum!!!

Get off duff. Trot around: pick up junk, put junk away; set up pool so guys can work around it; pick up more junk, put more junk away; pick up and discard mounds of dog sh!t… Finally get the place ready for the men.

Stumble back in the house. Look out front to see if they need me to go out there and unlock the side gate…

and…

and….

THEY’RE GONE!!!!!!!

WTF??????  Nary a sign of a yard dude! Or a yard dude’s truck!!

ohhhh…kayyyy…. So where’s the dog?????

Ruby!

RUBY!!

R-U-U-B-E-E-E-E!!!!!!

Nary a small fuzzy corgi!

Ohhhhh shee-ut! Did they open the gate and let her out?

Frantically search around and search around and call and call and search around and search around and call and call and…and…

Lo!
Here she is! 
Ambling out from underneath the toilet.

ggrrrrrr….  This is gonna be one of THOSE days, ain’t it?

Still a GORGEOUS Monday

Yep…we’re on the third blog post of the day. Tis true! and the truth is: telephone scammers notwithstanding, worries about old-age incarceration notwithstanding: this is an OBSCENELY GORGEOUS day.

  • Beautiful sunlight.
  • Beautiful mild temperatures.
  • Beautiful clean air.
  • Beautiful spectacular blue skies.
  • Beautiful little dog.
  • Beautiful glass of beer.
  • Beautiful beyond anything you can think of.

Beyond gorgeous.

Yes, you bet! I’m still damn scared of what the future holds. But when the present is this lovely, you can afford to divert your attention from tomorrow.

***

Ruby has waddled off to her favorite locale under the master bathroom toilet. Truth to tell, it’s the middle of the afternoon and we have yet to do our daily dog-&-human walk. And that is solely the fault of the lazy, easily distracted human.

Distracted today by memories of a beloved old boyfriend, a man I came within inches of marrying. 

Ohhhhh how my parents hated the man!!!

Ohhhhh how I loved the man!!!

In my then yet-to-be misspent youth, I assumed they hated him because he was The Other. Not American, hevvin help us. Worse yet: Eastern European. 

Paul was Bohemian. Real Bohemian, as in the nationality — not metaphorically so. Why they hated him, I failed to grasp during my naive youth. But now in my Old Age, I see…yeah.

As an example: Paul thought it was OK — just brilliant, actually — for his best buddy to be diddling a barmaid he’d picked up during a night on the town. Because, after all, his wife was eight or nine months advanced in pregnancy, and so  she couldn’t “give him any.”

Back in the Day, when I was madly in love, I thought my parents’ distaste for Paul was based in their distaste for other-than-Yankee roots. They must hate him because his parents were not 100% Yankee. Right?

Well.

No.

Actually, they hated him because he was a jerk. And because they could see, clear as day, that marrying the jerk would wreck my life.

Luckily for me, he made an ass of himself one time too many. And so I wandered away from him.

Sometimes God actually is on our side. Right?

What finally brought God’s Word — or at least, Her Thinking — to my attention was the time that Paul observed how VERY right his best buddy was in picking up a chippy in a bar and f*cking her…BECAUSE his wife was too advanced in pregnancy to accommodate his dong.

No kidding.

He thought his wife’s pregnancy with HIS child was an acceptable excuse to diddle whatever li’l darlin’ he came across in a bar.

No. I really DO kid you not. 

Dumb as I was, even I could see what was wrong with that picture.

Soooo…out he went, pore ole’ Paul. And good riddance to him. Since then, I’ve managed to scrape up a LITTLE more discrimination, when it comes to men.

How long that will last remains to be seen…

Glorioski Morning

Truly: a genuinely beautiful day has dawned. Ruby and I loaf in the west side yard, having traipsed all over the neighborhood.

Dodged Mr. Coyote while on that junket. Fortunately, the coyotes here are more scared of the humans than the humans are scared are of them…and that is irrationally scared. So our wild doggy friend melted away into the landscaping as we strolled past.

LOL! I do carry a walking stick on these doggy-treks. Not to help with walking on the utterly flat roads here. But to serve as a shillelagh if one is ever needed.

Gorgeous day or no gorgeous day, chances are the Dawg and I will head back to the sack in fairly short order. For reasons unknown, I’m feeling unduly sleepy.

In these parts, you’re more likely to need a shillelagh to defend against a human predator than to beat back a coyote. But this morning, not even one of the two-legged critters was in evidence. So, it was a nice day for a doggy-walk.

And right now, it being Sunday morning, the ‘Hood loafs in the Silence of the Tomb. It’s very, very quiet out here, except for the annoying roar of yet another jet plane. We’re far enough from the commercial airport AND far enough from Luke Air Force Base that the planes are well overhead by the time they get this far. But…not far enough overhead to completely silence the things.

One of my mother’s oddities was that she actually LIKED the sound of fighter jets charging around overhead. “It’s the sound of freedom,” she would simper.

Nothing like another World War to bring you a spate of freedom, eh?