Coffee heat rising

Afternoon Report from the Hubs of Hades

{Chortle!}  And now, comin’ up on 4:00 p.m., the outdoor thermometer registers 105º in the darkest shade of the back porch.

Garden spot, eh? Dontcha wish you lived here?

Oh, you do live here? My sympathies!! 😀

If my father were still living, I’d brain him for dragging me and my mother to this unholy place. Ohhhhhh well! Too late! 

She loved it, though. She even loved the unholy roar of the fighter jets from Luke Air Force Base, just outside of their home in Sun City. “Ohhhh,” she would simper,” “it’s the sound of freedom!”

Well. No, muther. That’s the sound of World War III, headed our way. 

Ohhh well. Whatever chimes your bells.

She did love Sun City, and incredibly, she did love the sound of those gawdawful war planes. Or at least, so she claimed. 😀

****

Hey! PRESTO CHANGEO!  Amazon just showed up at the front door with a package of wonderful Bigelow teabags. SIX BOXES of them!!!

Who’d’ve thunk it?

Now I won’t have to buy tea for a good year! One fewer hassle, eh?

Y’know…that isn’t something that I would’ve thunk, at the time I moved into this house here in (un)lovely Central Phoenix. But y’know… Amazon is some kinda Godsend.

By now I can’t even count the number of trips that outfit has spared me, traipsing around overheated, batsh!t Phoenix. I hate driving around this city, and you may be sure I like walking around it in 110-degree heat even less. Now that my son has kiped my car, Amazon’s deliveries pay for themselves many times over.

Without that car, at this time of year I’d have to make shopping trips at 6:00 in the morning, the instant the Albertson’s opens. And frankly, walking back and forth to the local stores, with our honored passing drivers hollering obscenities at me, is NOT what I wanna do at any time of the year.

If my son weren’t here, I would be SO GONE from this place. If I stayed in the Valley: probably to Fountain Hills. If not: to points in California, Colorado, or the Mogollon Rim. You couldn’t keep me here: not on a bet.

But…he IS here in lovely central Phoenix. So here I am, too.

And yeah: Amazon is one thing that makes this place more or less livable.

Walk Right In, Sit Right Down…

This morning, for reasons unknown, my feeble little  mind cast itself back over one of the gooniest experiences of my life. And it was an experience we went through because neither my young husband nor I had the nerve or the common sense to utter the word “NO.”

Back in the day, he and I lived in a gentrifying historic neighborhood that occupied a tract of beautiful old houses in central Phoenix. And our house was a beautiful old house: it dated back to the 1930s. We loved the place. To this day I miss it…though I sure am glad I don’t have to take care of it anymore.

So anyway….there we were, soaking up joy in the gorgeous old Encanto neighborhood, when one day this couple showed up at the front door.

They were, it developed, old friends of my husband, from college days. And, in classic hippy-dippy fashion, they had jumped in their car and taken off across the country, to craft the Adventure of a Lifetime. When they arrived in Phoenix, they looked us up, said “hello,” moved right in, and sat right down.

No kidding! They invited themselves in, and the next thing we knew they were unpacking their smelly gear in our family room, there to take possession of the sofa-bed.

They were carrying all sorts of food and crap in their car. This stuff, they hauled into the house and dumped in the family room. Half-spoiled, it stank to high heaven. That didn’t seem to bother them, though.

They hung around for a week or ten days, until I told my young husband to ask them to leave. Even then, it took some doing to shoehorn them out of the house! But eventually they moved their campsite to the downtown YMCA, and (mercifully) that was the last we saw of them.

The room stank for days after they left.

The one good thing that came of their little invasion was that my husband and I learned a good lesson: NEVER let people invite themselves into your home!!!

😀

Lordie! For awhile, I was afraid we would have to buy a new sofa-bed. Eventually we did buy a new mattress…but it wasn’t easy to find one, and it wasn’t something we were budgeted for.

I did learn a raft of lessons from that misadventure, though. Primary among them: I will NEVER allow people to stay in my home again, even if I know them fairly well. 

You just never know what kind of stupid stuff people will get up to. Or how they live their daily lives, what their hygiene is like, and how much nerve they have when it comes to taking advantage of you.

Man! Once stung, twice wary!

A Rasty-Nasty Day

Ugh!  This morning: hot, wet, sticky. Reminiscent of an early-morning summer day in Ras Tanura, Saudi Arabia…where I was (un)fortunate enough to grow up on the shore of the Persian Gulf. What a hole! My father called the camp Rasty Nasty: a sobriquet that neatly describes life there.

And Lordie, I did hate living there! Not because of the Arabs or because of the eye-searing, brain-dulling scenery, but because of the nasty brats who populated the camp’s grade school. Ugh! Those creatures were truly little monsters. If you were “different” in any way, they ganged together and worked to make your life miserable.

And they were very, very good at making an outcast kid’s life miserable! If you were a girl who failed to grasp that the sole purpose of your life, other than spawning children, was to stand in the kitchen and bake cookies, you didn’t belong.

I didn’t  “belong,” with a vengeance. Back in the 1950s, when conventionality was the style of the day, I failed to grasp that I was supposed to grow up to cook and to sew clothes. Noooo…stupid me! I wanted to grow up to become an astronomer.

You know: a person with a Ph.D. and a lifetime career in astrophysics.

No. Bad, bad girl!! Females did NOT go into the sciences.

So growing up in Arabia meant nine years of utter misery for me. GOD, how I hated that place and hated those kids! The feeling was mutual on the brats’ part. What an awful time in an awful place!

Finally, when I was nearing the end of the sixth grade out there, my mother’s best friend — a camp nurse — persuaded her boyfriend — a doctor in the camp hospital — to convince my father that my mother had to be sent home, lest she die from the amoebic dysentery she’d picked up out there.

So. That got me and my mother out of that hell-hole and back to San Francisco, whence we had emanated. And it led me into a decent school where my classmates didn’t know I was the Weird Little Kid. So my life kinda sprang back to almost normal. My mother, after some weeks in a hospital, recovered from the amoebic infestation. And so there we were — at least in much better living conditions — until my father’s current contract ended and he joined us in the City.

From there we proceeded to Southern California, where he shipped out of a port down there. My mother’s dearest friend lived in Long Beach, so she — my mother — and I rented an apartment in that dreary garden spot. After several years there, my father retired and they betook themselves to Sun City, Arizona (talk about dreary!!). By then, thank God, it was time for me to enter college. Instead of sending me to Cal Berkeley, where I’d planned to go, they stuck  me in the University of Arizona.

This parked me in Tucson, the home of the bourgeois and the mediocre. But at least it was a good long way from Sun City! 😮

Rehearsing these events…well…it sure frosts my cookies! Where I had a promising start — a strong likelihood of entering UC Berkeley and then going on to graduate school from there — they got rid of that. Instead I got a bachelor’s degree from a third-rate school, and from there proceeded to marriage and graduate studies in an even lesser school.

What kind of people do that to their kid?

Well. Uneducated people, of course. They hadn’t a clue. I think they really didn’t know there was much difference between universities around the country. And they really didn’t know a Ph.D. from some third-rate school in the middle of the Southwestern desert was not the same as a Ph.D. — or any degree — from a four-year California university. And why should they? Neither of them went to college, and I don’t think my father even graduated from high school. From what I can tell, he ran away from home to go to sea before he finished his senior year.

So…yeah. I guess I managed to steer my life in the right direction. But still…I’m not fond of  being reminded of growing up in Saudi Arabia. And a wet, rasty-nasty day like today does exactly that.

Ugh!

CAN you believe????

Some sumbiche came INTO MY BACK YARD through the side yard and STOLE ALL MY CLOTHESPINS!

Jayzuz! What kind of asshole steals clothespins!??

Now I’ve either got to traipse to the Albertson’s through 110-degree heat or order a new bag of pins from Amazon, at a premium price.

Hmmm….  Amazon will send 60 wooden clothespins for just $6.00. But it still pisseth me off!!! What kind of asshole steals the clothespins off your clothes line?

I swear ta gawd!

Swampy-Dampy Day!

Yuch!!  Just back from this morning’s (soggy!) doggy walk. What a horrid morning! Gray, wet…yes, SO wet the air actually does feel soggy.

Feels like Saudi Arabia, by the shore of the Persian Gulf, where we used to live while my father worked for Aramco — the Arabian American Oil Company. HORRIBLE. One of the nastiest places to live that you can imagine.

Ruby is panting frantically as she lounges on the kitchen floor’s cool tile. I’m covered with sticky sweat…thirsty but too tired and sore to get up and lumber into the kitchen after a glass of water.

WhatEVER possessed my father to move us to this ungawdly place when he retired?

Oh, yah: I know. CHEAP.

Del Webb was practically giving away the houses in Sun City — certainly by comparison with California real estate. But Sun City’s BIG appeal to him, IMHO, was NO KIDS.

Truly: he abominated kids. He hated the sound of kids playing outside. And when he heard of a whole housing development where no kids were allowed, he thought he’d found Nirvana.

He made me drop out of high school a year early, so he could send me to the University of Arizona…thereby getting around Del Webb’s rule that no one under some extenuated age could live in Sun City. If your kid was away at college, you were allowed to move in…even if the brat was under 21.

So that fucked up my education. But why should he care? I was just a girl. What did I need a degree for, since all I was gonna do was take dictation and type? And raise kids, of course.

Y’know, if he’d waited just one more  year, I would have gotten into UC Berkeley, and there I could have landed a decent degree that would indeed have led to an interesting job or a first-rate graduate program. But nooooooo….we had to move to f*cking Sun City.

What a place!

At any rate, here we are, enjoying a classic Arizona late-summer day. Wet, soggy, dark with overcast…just gross. I hate Arizona (in case you hadn’t noticed…). And really…I will resent him for the rest of my life for f*cking up my educational plans (I was lined up for a Ph.D. from Berkeley or UCLA!) and dragging me out to the middle of the Sonoran Desert.

But…yeah. So what? I was just a girl….

A Fine Freshet

wowWEEE!!! What we have here is the mega-rainstorm from Hell! You would not BELIEVE!!

No, it doesn’t come up to the level of tornado…or even to hurricane. The wind’s not that high. But the torrents of rain are…well…beyond my experience, that’s for sure.

Seriously: Haven’t seen a storm like this since I was in Arabia, when a storm came in off the Gulf that tore off people’s roofs.

Let’s hope Stateside roofs are a little sturdier. {heh!} Especially the one on my house! 😮

Dayum! This means tomorrow I’ll have to get someone up there to inspect that roof.

Yeah: me and 87,000 other locals, eh?

Goodie. I can start calling at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow.

We haven’t lost the power yet. Usually that goes out whenever we have a serious storm. And this IS a serious one.

Wooo HOOO! Just LISTEN to that thunder! :-0

Really, this one sounds a lot like the Biggie we had in Saudi Arabia, all these many years ago. One year we had a monster storm roar in off the desert. Tore off people’s roofs. Blew boats ashore. Scared the bedoodles out of everyone.

Be glad you’re not an Arab living in a tent out on the desert when one of these things blows through.

***

Looks like the thing has already lost its clout.

Can’t see the pool through the back windows in the dark. And am not going out there in the rain to inspect. Whatever mess is out there will still be out there come sunrise.

And won’t Pool Dude be pleased…. 😮