Coffee heat rising

Hah! I’m IN!!!

Click on “Firefox” to open Funny about Money, and get an aggravating pop-up: “Choose a Firefox profile to log in.”

I don’t WANT a Firefox profile, goddammit!!!!!  I just want to get into my silly little blog!

Arrrrrrrggggghhhh!  Life in the 21st Century: one goddamn aggravation after another!

Oh, well. For reasons unknown, the system has let me in. We’ll soon see whether it’ll let me load a post to FaM.

I wonder if life in, say, the 1960s seemed as aggravating to my parents, who came to majority in the 1930s and ’40s. Can’t remember them grousing ALL the time about this modern inconvenience and that unnecessary hassle. But…hmmm… Surely, it must have seemed just as alien to them as the accursed 2020s seem to me.

{sigh} I don’t recall my mother grousing as much as I do about this hassle and that headache. But come to think of it, she did encounter hassles and headaches incident upon modernization.

B-B-B-R-R-R-R-R-R…

Egad, it’s cold out there!

Well….normal people in normal climes would think it was right balmy. But for an Arizonan, it’s colder than a by-gawd! 

😀

Forty degrees on the back porch kinda obviates this morning’s doggy-walk.

M’hijito is presumably on his way over here: his plan is to pick me up and drag me to the grocery store. Bless him!

Seriously: with my car purloined (and who, we ask, might be the purloiner??) and my hip so spavined I can barely walk from the dining room to the kitchen, I can’t imagine how I would stock in a week’s worth of groceries. I’m pretty particular about grocery purchases, and so ordering a bunch of goodies over the phone is…well…pretty much out of the question.

Most of what I buy at a grocery market is fresh fruits and vegetables. By and large, Americans — especially the ones of an age to be working as grocery-store clerks — have NO CLUE how to select decent fresh produce. That kinda obviates calling Sprouts and asking them to send over a few bags of veggies and fruit. What you’ll get is a few bags of schlock.

But meanwhile, oh! how I hurt!! The LAST thing if feel like doing is having my good son schlep me to the store, trudging around the place, dragging stuff out to the car, dragging the same stuff into the house, and putting it all away. Just sitting here in an easy chair with my feet on a hassock hurts, hurts, and hurts some more. 

Got my hiking stick out…actually, just now we could call it the limping stick. I can’t walk up the hallway without either hanging on to the stick or bracing myself against the walls. MAN, does it hurt to walk!

Or…umh…try to walk. Probably walking is not the word you’d use. 😀

****

Beginning to look like I’m gonna have to buy another car. That will set me back 18 or 20 grand. What a joy!

But, although I would be getting around OK if every goddamn step didn’t hurt like the dickens, Phoenix (like L.A.) is not a place where you can live, in any practical way, without a car. My son has locked my car in his garage, and it becomes clearer with each passing day that he has no intention of returning it.

And no, I’m not gonna report it stolen. He is, after all, my son. That’s all we need, eh? My son spending the next few years in the slam for car theft!

Oh, lookit this message he just sent:

For clarity:

    1. The car has been sold.
    2. Your driver’s license is no longer valid due to the prior safety issues involving alcohol and cognitive impairment.
    3. Your neurological care is currently established through Mayo Clinic.
    4. I am not ill, and there is no need to characterize your medical decisions as something that must be concealed from me.

If you want to discuss changes to your care, we can address that directly and in writing.

So basically what’s happened is he ripped off my car and justified the action with a lot of distorted BS supposedly emanated from the Mayo, embellished by pure nonsense.

Understand: the Mayo is an hour’s drive away from here. That’s one-way. Hiring a taxicab for a round-trip would freakin’ bankrupt me. So there’s no way I can get over there without a car.

Add to that the problem that our doctors at the Mayo listen to my son. They don’t even appear to hear me when I’m speaking. It’s as though they had an eight-year-old in the room with them. So nothing I say to them is going to change their minds.

My preferred doctor, who used to practice in a tony suburb just to the north of the ‘Hood, has moved to Sun City, where a very fancy new hospital just opened. That is an hour’s drive away from here! 

I lived in Sun City with my parents, after they moved here from California. And I’ll tellya: NEVER AGAIN!

No. I do not want to live in Sun City, a ghetto for the elderly middle-class. No, I do not want to be serenaded all morning, every morning starting at dawn, by the roar of fighter jets emanating from Luke Air Force Base.

No, I was NOT impressed with the medical care my parents got out there. Surely, my mother would have died anyway — a lifetime of heavy smoking having gifted her with a nasty case of cancer — but she didn’t have to suffer the way she did. Any competent doctor would have recognized her problem, and never would have patted her on her little head, told her it was all in her imagination, and sent her way.

At the Mayo, at least you’ve got a shot at snagging a competent doctor. In Sun City: fuhgeddaboudit!

And speaking of emanations of bullshit: just look at that message. Lemme tellya:

* I do not drink and drive. I NEVER drink and drive.

* No one has ever proven, in any way credible or incredible, that I am cognitively impaired. Read the content of this blog and decide whether it’s the product of someone who is non compos.

Yes, occasionally I have a glass of wine or a cocktail before dinner. But I do not get in the car after that and drive around. The wine before a big mid-day meal became an established habit when I was a senior in college: my boyfriend was a European fellow who loved to cook. He would prepare the day’s big meal — what Americans would call “dinner” — in the early afternoon: along about 1:00 or 2:00 p.m.

We would go to class, get all the tromping round campus done, and the repair to his house, where we would eat like royalty. And we always had wine with that (usually pretty spectacular) meal.

That became a habit with me, once I had my own place, and so…yeah! I do have my big meal of the day around noon or in the early afternoon. That is different from getting sloshed, jumping in the car, and cavorting around the city. Typically, after that mid-day meal I hang around the house: napping, blogging, reading, editing clients’ copy…whatever. But: not driving!

So this whole “Vicky gets in the car and careens around the city drunk” bullshit has gotten REAL stale.

First off, it’s wrong.

Second off, it’s insulting. Really, how stupid DO those doctors think I am?

Oh craparoonies. Here’s the kid.  Posting…

 

 

Beerless in Gaza…

Well, that was one of the weirder junkets I’ve made in the past few years. 😀

It went like this:

* Out the door
* Wander up Main Drag West past the Prod church
* Stroll on through the Albertson’s, planning to buy…
*…to buy?
*…to buy WHAT?
*How’s about picking up a six-pack of beer?
* Bah! Too much bother to carry home
* Exit Albertson’s, empty-handed
* Stroll around shopping center
* See exactly nothing of interest
* Walk back to Main Drag West toward the house
* Pass Prod church again
* Enjoy kids playing outside in their yards
* Hike up toward the Funny Farm
* Arrive back at the Funny Farm
* Shouldn’t I have bought a six-pack of beer?
* Bah! What on earth for? I’m gonna hike six blocks, then  turn around and hike six blocks back home, to buy…to buy…what? A bottle of beer?

I’m crazy. but I’m not THAT crazy. 😀

Seriously: It was a pleasant short hike on a beautiful afternoon, to buy…NOTHING

Yet there was something strangely pleasing about having gotten out of the house, strolled a half-mile down to the store, strolled another half-mile home, and spent NOTHING on anything! 

Meanwhile, there in the yards we have kids playing, grown-ups puttering, pooches frolicking, soft wind blowing…what a perfect afternoon!

This, I need to do more often!

A-r-r-g-h! Not to say OUCH!!!

Wow! That really hurts!!! What exactly I did to bring this on escapes me: but just now, the right hip is SO SPAVINED I can barely hobble across a room.

Don’t recall doing anything to create any damage. So I imagine I must have slept crooked, and in doing so, sprained something in the groin area. WhatEVER: it does hurt colorfully.

Very tired of the never a dull moment phenomenon. Have you noticed that? All the damnfool things happen in a row: one headache after another after another…. That’s how things have gone hereabouts, over the past couple of days.

And now I’m so crippled I can barely hobble across the room.

What I oughta do is go back to bed. But…it hurts too much to limp to the back room where I can check the calendar, to see what I’m supposed to be doing today — other than loafing.

I have the worst feeling I’m supposed to traipse to the Mayo Clinic, on the far side of the galaxy. Ugh! How can I count the ways I don’t wanna?

If that’s the case — the traipsing, not the counting — my son will show up here shortly, all primed to drag me across the city.

And how CAN I count the ways that I am all doctored out? How happy would I be never to see another doctor again??? 

***

Welp! It’s quarter to noon. No kid. Hot diggety! That has GOT to mean the Mayo Clinic premonition was more like a hallucination. Surely do hope so.

Jet warplanes are zooming back and forth over the city’s northerly precincts: ZOOM ZOOM ROAR ZOOM!  What. A. Racket!!

When my parents lived in Sun City, a few miles to the east of Luke Air Force Base, my mother used to love to sit on her back patio, sip coffee, and listen to the early-morning commotion from those damn planes.

LOL! I remember remarking to her, one morning, how much I hated swilling coffee to that symphony. She corrected my socialistic error: “That’s the sound of Freedom,” quoth she.

Quoth I: Uhm…nooo, Mother. That’s the sound of World War III, comin’ your way. 

Never seemed to register with her.

Ohhhhh well….

HAH! Next Time….

One ringie-dingie…two ringie-dingies…three… Sucker picks up the phone. Sales pitch commences. 

Sucker swears like a 19th-century sailor at the ba*tard on the other end and hangs up.

One ringie… Jerk on the other end calls back to harass….

JAYZUZ, am I sick of phone soliciting. Really: that’s about all my land-line phone rings for anymore.

And that leads me to think it’s past time — WAY past time — to get rid of the damn land line.

Seems like all that would accomplish, though, would be for you to blitzed with nuisance calls on a cell phone. BLECH!!!

I don’t carry a phone around with me, mostly because I really, truly do NOT want to be pestered with phone calls everywhere I go. By and large, {RINGIE DINGIE…the bastard calls back!)…by and large hardly any real calls come through anymore. Few of my friends call on the land line. Mostly, if they want to get ahold of me, they email me.

CAN you believe it? That jerk jangled up my phone again after I hung up on him. 

YELL INTO THE PHONE AT THE HIGHEST VOLUME MY VOICE WILL ELICIT: IS THERE SOME PART OF “NO” YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND? GET OFF MY GODDAMN PHONE!!!!!!!

Telephone soliciting is a prison industry. So…many, if not most of the nuisance calls you get are coming from convicts inside a jail. Just the sorta folks you want to chat with, right?

Try to dial the solicitor’s number back: Caller ID says he called from “010.”

Yeah. Ducky.

LOL! Years ago, when we lived in a big ole historic home downtown, we used to get oceans of nuisance calls. Our phone was connected by a wire telephone line. allowing it to sit near the kitchen where I could get at it quickly if I was cooking or cleaning, yet also letting it sit within reach of the furniture where we sat to watch the TV. The phone soliciting bastards usually called during the dinner hour…. When a pest called, I used to carry that phone into the kitchen, set it inside the freezer, and close the door on it.

{chortle!} To little avail…but ludicrously satisfying. :+D

Really, I probably ought to get rid of the land line. But truth to tell, I don’t WANT a cell phone. For one thing, I don’t want anyone — friend or hustler — to be able to reach me wherever I am, whenever I am. Plus I just don’t do that much over the phone anymore: not so much that I’m willing to pay a premium price for the privilege.

 

Ruminations on Ruination

Egad! Get up and close that damn back door…NOW!

Seriously: the Dawg and the Human just sat down to take in the morning slack — coffee mug in hand, computer atop lap — and it dawns on the Human: Do not sit there with the back door hanging open, dammit!!!  Nay verily, not even if the screen door is closed and locked.

‘Cause, as we know, any clown and his/her little brother can kick or yank that screen open.

Sounds paranoid, eh? But I do hafta say: it feels more and more unsafe to me, living here in lovely Arizona. Especially in its (un)lovely cities.

Day or two ago, a Tucson woman was murdered at her home, apparently by a nut case. So…sitting around your house or patio taking in the morning air is decidedly NOT advised. Surely not around here.

So many of our fellow citizens are off the rails here in this crazy-making 21st Century — and it’s so easy for them (and us) to stock up on firearms — that really: You’d be nuts to loaf in your family room with the back door hanging open.

I never used to feel especially unsafe in my home, certainly not in the daylight hours. But lately that has changed…and I don’t think the change is a function of age.

No. It’s a function of the steadily growing insanity and violence around us. Not that humans haven’t always been crazy…but really, it does seem a lot more pronounced than it was, say, 20 or 30 years ago.

Sometimes I think I should move out of uptown Phoenix — surely the suburbs would be safer. When I mentioned that to a cop during the great home invasion adventure, he remarked that there aren’t any places in the Phoenix metropolitan area that can be regarded as safe.

Really…when you re-read the post I put up at Funny after that little adventure, you hafta ask yourself: Why am I still living here???

What the HELL is the matter with me that I haven’t moved somewhere else? Somewhere far, far from here! Really: this house should have been on the market the next day after that episode…

But…but…WHERE would I go that’s any better?

Sun City, that fine mausoleum on the west side? 

Well, no: this kind of stuff happens out there. My mother lived in white-lipped terror all the time she and my father owned their Sun City manse. And I’m not interested in living in a ghetto for the aged and the cranky. No, thanks.

A box in the sky? One of the high-rise apartments along Central Avenue or in Scottsdale?

Well…I’ve lived in such a place. And…no thanks. Don’t wanna do that again. I’m just not in to communal living.

No communal living, eh? Well, then: how about back out to the ranch, just outside the wide spot in the road called Yarnell? Right up on the Rim…cool weather, lots of cows and sheep, plenty of room for the burglars to spread out comfortably?

Hm. Yeah, I did love the ranch. BUT: we didn’t live there 24/7. It was more of a weekend retreat for us. And y’know: I don’t think I would want to live out in the middle of nowhere 24/7. Besides, if a burglar/rapist/murderer can visit you in your city subdivision, what’s to keep him from visiting you on your remote ranch?

Basically…where there be humans, you be not safe.

Yeah: I’m afraid that’s a fact.

Or, alternatively:  I’m afraid. That’s a fact.

😀