Coffee heat rising

Annals of the Floored & Flabbergasted

NEVER Stops…

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cripes. Come along about noon…I just get my spavined body settled onto the bed with the heating pad cooking the sprained groin muscles, and…

!!!!!BING BONGGGGG!!!!!

God DAMN it. 

Drag out of the sack, limp through the house…limp through the house…limp through the house: Gerardo and his boys at the door: all set to rake and blower and trim and blower and rake and, forGODsake fix the goddamn busted plumbing in the front yard and….

…and who the hell knows how much that’s gonna cost. 

All I wanna do is try to cook the pain out of my leg. Guess that ain’t gonna happen today!

God only can imagine how much he’s gonna gouge me for today’s antics. My guess is around a couple hundred bucks. DAYUM!

Can’t complain, because it’s work that…

a) I don’t really know how to do; and
b) I absolutely positively don’t WANT to do.

But…hafta say, today I’d ever so much druther NOT have anyone do it. DAYUM! Let me lay on the sack under the damn heating pad and freakin’ leave me alone!

My gawd, this stupid thing hurts. Why escapes me. I must have twisted the joint and then laid on it crooked during the night, while I was sleeping.

Wouldn’cha think that would wake you up? If it did, I sure don’t remember. All I know is, I came to this morning with my hip hurting so bad I can barely waddle around the house. And now it hurts and hurts and hurts and HURTS.

*****

GEEEZ! Talk about hurts! Gerardo the Wonder Yard Dude just charged me some staggering around of money to repair the irrigation system. Just what I wanted to do: spend the afternoon bankrupting myself.

And now I’ll get a blast of RAGE from my son, who will be totally NOT happy when he sees how much I paid for this project.

Daaayyy–yuuummm!

MAKE IT STOP, LORD!

{Cosmic laughter echoes out of the heavens…}

Kaput?????

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Well: we’ll see if Funny is kaput in the land of the flying computers…  AUGH.  It looks like my desktop is offline altogether, and the laptop is sorta offline…maybe kaput, maybe not kaput.

😮

To perfect that predicament, somehow I spavined a hip joint and now can BARELY limp up the hallway.

Hmmm… does that mean My hip is offline, too???  😀

Whatever it means, it sure as hell hurts!

Okay…

….TESTING….

Are We Still Online?

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Looks like once again I’m back in to Funny about Money, despite the last week’s hijinks.

Hallelujah, brothers and sisters! That’s surely some kind of little miracle.

It’s a gray, drab morning: 8:30 and no brighter than about 7 a.m.

Harvey the Beloved Pool Cleaner appears to be on the fritz. Looks like he’s stuck on on the bottom of the Hole in the Ground Into Which To Pour Money. I’m not sure whether this is Pool Dude Day — he comes around every week or so. But I’m unstuck in time and so have no clue whether this is one of his days.

If I stay here waiting for him, that will put the eefus on Ruby the Corgi’s doggy-walk.

****

Ah HAH!  His glorious convict-like Cuteness arrived! Pool Dude is here! Out back and puttering away with the dratted…uhm, beloved swimming pool. And when we say DOG JOY, we do mean dog joy. 

Yes: many of these guys are convicts. Pool cleaning is one of the trades for which prisons in Arizona train inmates. So, chances are pretty good that our beloved Pool Dude has seen the inside of a concrete cell.

That notwithstanding, he is a sweetie-pie. Just a very nice, very personable man. And he does a great job! So whatever he did in his previous career…I don’t much care.

As for Ruby: he could be Jack the Ripper and she’d still adore him.

 

Egad! Who’d’ve Thunk it?

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Woo HOOO!  I’m IN!!

Yeah: Seriously, I thought there was NO WAY I could get back into Funny about Money, not without hauling the laptop over to the computer guys and begging them to fix it.

But mysteriously: here we are! 

At least I think so… We’ll find out when we try t…JANGLE JANGLE JANGLE!!!!!

Another goddamn nuisance phone call! From area code 160

Where the Hell is 160???

WTF: INDIA?

DAMN these pests.

Honest to Gawd! Sometimes (more and more oftentimes…) I think it’s not worth it to have a phone. Certainly not a land line.

Y’know, a cell phone that you can leave in your car so you don’t hear it when every moron and scam artist on the planet jangles you up?  Ohh-kayyyy…. But these days, a land line is just too much of a hub of scams to make it worth paying for the thing.

Especially when you’re ailing. Like now. It’s…

HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT HURT….

Ohhh gawd,, do I hurt! 

My right hip is mightily spavined, And it’s not getting better. Every day is the same as the last: nonstop hurting. Can barely dodder around the house.

So…dammit! If it doesn’t get better within the next week, it’s BACK out to the accursed Mayo Clinic: there, presumably to sign up for surgery on the damn thing. Just what I need to make life perfect!

Huh! India: area code 160. 😀  By now, wouldn’tcha think I’d have enough sense not to pick up the phone for a caller whose number I don’t recognize?

Just too much a creature of the 1950s, I guess.

Really, I do need to come into the 21st Century!  I haven’t…because I haven’t wanted to. Too much hassle, too many headaches, too little return on investment in hassle. But…pretty soon I’m gonna hafta.

Dammit.

 

Ah hah! Back IN!

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Thought WordPress had locked me out of Funny about Money. But nay! Here we are!!

Actually, M’hijito is probably the one who got me back in. He’s in the study right now, wrestling with the computer and the Internet. Must say: you have to own a LOT more IQ points than I do in order to make this online stuff work. The frustration level is bracing.

Oh well…we’re back online. Fully.

Also bracing, in the Department of Frustration, is trying to work with doctors when you’re chronically ill. And that, alas, is the predicament in which I find myself.

One runs into any number of roadblocks, here in this predicament:

* Doctors often only half-listen to you. Consequently, they miss much of what you say.

* They are right and you are wrong. No argument, you!

* If you are a woman, you are by nature stupid.

* If you are a woman, you are  by nature wrong.

* Often they will prescribe an OTC drug — or even a prescription drug — without being fully aware of all its potential side effects. These side effects can be highly unpleasant, and some are even dangerous.

You see: this is WHY, over the years, I’ve developed an aversion to medical care. And to doctors. It also is why, whenever a doctor prescribes a drug, I look it up in the PDR (Physician’s Desk Reference) before I gulp it down!  

When you do this regularly, often you realize that your doctor has not looked up a given prescription drug, does not know its potential side effects, and even — incredibly enough! — does not realize it should not be given for your specific ailment.

And that’s the issue: Too often, doctors don’t fully understand what they’re giving you. Not because they’re incompetent. But because they’re busy; they’re overworked; they’re going by what they’ve heard from a colleague or at some conference; and because they assume they know better than you. Especially if you’re a woman.

So, as you can imagine, I’ve about had it. 

Pain, Pain, and More Pain!

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Omigawd. Wanna hear about hurt?  Lemme tellya HURT. 

For reasons unknown, my right hip is massively spavined. Seriously: I have no idea why or what caused it: must have twisted around funny in my sleep. All I know is that the joint hurts SO MUCH that I’d classify it as about the worst pain I’ve ever had. And I delivered my baby without anaesthesia….

Yeah, no kidding: labor doesn’t hurt as much as this old bat’s monthly periods. Nowhere near that much. So I didn’t realize I was in labor until we got to the hospital and the kid was hopping out into the world.

😀  😮 😀

ohhhh welll…. Just now we are enjoying a bit of palpable pain.

M’hijito is working. Doubt if it registers with him how much the old bat is hurting.

Doesn’t matter, anyway. A spavined hip joint ain’t fatal. If I show up at the ER going wah wah! my leg hurts!!, I’m gonna get ignored, ignored, and then ignored some more. So…shee-ut! Why bother?