Ever look back on some damfool thing you should have done or, more to the point, shouldn’t have done and think…”coulda, shoulda, woulda,” all the while kicking your idiot self in the metaphorical tuchus?
The past couple of days have been haunted by that less-than-charming state of mind:
When my father and his late-life lady friend came to me and ostentatiously asked for my permission for them to marry, What the F**K was the matter with me that I didn’t jump up and down hollering NO, DON’T DO THAT!??
What was the matter with me that I didn’t say, as calmly and rationally as possible, “NO, DON’T DO THAT!
Why the HELL didn’t I say Wait! Just WAIT six months and see how things shake out then?”
Why didn’t I say to my father, DADDY, RUN AWAY!
Welp. Some of us are just plain plug-stupid. And evidently I’m among that number.
Dunno why that episode has come back to haunt me of late. But yeah: over the past week or two I find myself reliving the (annoying!) episode when my father and the Dragon Lady came to me like a pair of 16-year-olds and begged my permission to marry.
WTF was I supposed to say? They were both adults. They both had been married before (twice, in my father’s case). They both knew what they were getting into. And they both knew that since in their 60s they were unlikely to spawn any offspring, it fukkin’ DIDN’T MATTER whether they married or lived in sin.
Well. Of course, about all I could do was give them my daughterly blessings.
Dayum! I must have been smoking something especially toxic that day.
The upshot of this little circus performance was misery. Years of misery for my father.
He was afraid to divorce the Witch. “SHE’LL GET ALL MY MONEY,” wailed he. Nevvermind that his daughter’s husband was a senior partner in one of the most powerful lawfirms in the Southwest. Ohhh eeek! SHE’LL GET ALL MY MONEY!
Holy shit. Some things matter more than all your money.
Why didn’t I tell him so?
I dunno.
Just stupid, I guess.
I’d guess she cut at least 10 to 15 years off her life