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House & Yard

Pool Dude, Beloved Pool Dude

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HOW ON EARTH does this dawg know when it’s Pool Dude Day???  Do dogs have internal calendars?

That wonderful man comes around regularly to shovel out the leaves, the dust, and the whatnot, to update the chemicals, and to keep the pump equipment running. If it weren’t for him, by now I’d have had to do what my neighbor does: shut down the pool, drain it, and use it as a nest in which to breed mosquitos. (You can’t fully drain it: even with the drain open, a little puddle gathers at the deep end.)

Her neighbor on the other side is a lady who likes to sleep with her windows open. (Yeah, I know. But she’s from Europe and knows not about the risks posed by the local criminal set). So…European Lady naively goes to bed with the windows hanging open and apparently with no functional screens covering the empty space.

And…SURPRISE!!!!! She gets all bit up by the mosquitos breeding on the bottom of our neighbor’s pool, and this leads to a fine, roaring infection that damn near kills her. In fact, at one point the doctors told her dad she wouldn’t live through the night.

But she’s a tough lady, and so she surprised them. She’s back and going strong. And our neighbor’s mosquito pond still sits in that backyard, with a nice little puddle at the bottom.

I suggested to European Lady’s dad — who happens to be the famed Tony the Romanian Landlord — that he quietly toss some insecticide over the wall into the puddle. And…well…he must have done that, because we no longer get mosquito raids here.

What a place!

And to put the crown on that: this is one of the better “places” in Phoenix.

Wherever there are humans, there be morons. 

Real-Estate Dreamin’

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The idle(!!) mind returns to the fine overpriced patio homes I saw yesterday while roaming around the neighborhood. Parked between the canal and the neighborhood that DXH still inhabits, one of those places would be exceptionally convenient for my son. And about three blocks from a major supermarket, allowing me to stock up on groceries without ever thinking about having to drive to a store.

Uhm…

But…waitwait! Don’t I already live in such a ‘hood? Maybe even better: the Funny Farm is not just within walking distance of ONE market, but of FOUR: a Sprouts, a Safeway, an Albertson’s, and a Fry’s! It’s a three-minute drive (or an easy walk) to DXH’s place.

OHHHHkayyy… So much for that excuse to spend money and discommode oneself for a month or so! 😀

Out of sheer luck (given that I didn’t have the faintest idea what I was doing back in the house-hunting day), my present house happens to be located in just about as convenient a spot as possible.

My son’s car makes the location no less convenient for my son than the one down the street from his dad’s place.

The house on Central Avenue…well, it is nigh onto Central, a busy and noisy commuter thoroughfare.

It’s really no closer to shopping than where I am…and as a matter of fact, it has fewer nearby outlets.

Truth to tell, this li’l house here — the one in the neighborhood that my Realtor friend brought to me lo! these MANY years ago — very probably is in about the best location available within Maricopa County.

> It’s in a solidly upper-middle-class residential district

> Trains and busses serve the ‘Hood pretty much 24 hours a day

> Not one but three major hospitals serve the area (John C. Lincoln, Abrazo, and HonorHealth). A number of independent doctors practice out of offices within walking distance.

> The house is within easy walking distance of three major supermarkets (a Sprouts, an Albertson’s, and a Fry’s). And not one but two specialized computer stores.

> And if you have a kid, two excellent K-12 schools and one of the best public high schools in the city serve the district. Plus several private schools.

What more is to ask for? Truth is, this location is by far superior to any others I’ve seen in the past few months.

And…ahem… It’s paid for. 😉

Truth to tell, I don’t at all need a car to live here. This is a perfect neighborhood for an old bat who is reduced to having to get around on foot or by public transit!

And furthermore…  If I’m able to hang in here until I croak over (not unlikely, given my relatives’ track record for health & longevity), my son will inherit a nice house in a pleasant neighborhood that is paid for. 

Hm.

Soooo….no. I reckon I’m NOT interested in any kewl patio homes on the high end of tony North Central Avenue. Who needs it?

😀

Batteries Battened Down…

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Chortle!  Have you noticed that smoke alarm batteries invariably pick the middle of the night to run out of juice?

How do the things know?  😀

So…it was climb up on a ladder and unhook the living-room alarm from its seat on the ceiling. Disconnect the juice from the beeper.

HUH…that’s the last battery on the ceiling, by dayum! Guess I’ve been…uhm…remiss (not to say plug-lazy) about getting someone over here to fix the gadgets.

After the holidays are over, I’ll have to call a Happy Handyman to come over and replace all half-dozen of them. And…after this, not be so darned lazy about the things.

Why do gadgets of this sort invariably pick THE most inconvenient  moment to go on the fritz?

Ever notice that?

How DO they know?

Holiday Confuse-a-Bat

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😀  Ohhh-kayyy….  It’s Christmas Eve. WHAT am I supposed to be doing today?

Seriously: if we had a plan, I failed to enter it on the calendar. And since nothing can be entered with any certainty in the agèd brain, natcherly I cannot remember whether m’hijito and I had something up…or not.

I assume he’s going to his dad’s or to his friends’ place. His pals usually have a nice holiday shindig. But I don’t recall being invited to it this year…which doesn’t mean I wasn’t invited: only that I can’t remember.

DON’T get old, whatever ya do!!!!!

I kid you not. 

In the Department of Old Age, at this point of course (as you who have moved homes a time or three must know), you’re no doubt living in your last own-it-yourself home. Next one will either be a motel room in an old-folks’ institution or a box in the ground. Or maybe a nice urn for ashes.

But…gee! The other day Ruby and I were walking on the northerly fringe of Upper Richistan, along the bank of the canal bordering that tony district. And what should we see but…wow! THE coolest little tract of very pricey-looking patio homes, laid out along the river-like canal, below a view of the North Mountains. 

Hm.

It’s in a walled development, suggesting a well organized (yeah: expensive) homeowner’s association that takes care of the grounds and amenities.

Gosh.

Walk past, southeasterly.

On the way home, walk past it again, northwesterly.

Could we afford that????

Consider: no more monthly bills for the pool cleaning. No more monthly bills for Gerardo (Yard Dude) and his crew. Your monthly HOA bill no doubt would cover regular security guard service as well as the pool and grounds care.

Hm, indeed…

Very innaresting. I may go back and look at that place more closely; maybe watch for the next “For Sale” sign.

On the other hand…  My house has no nuisancey homeowners’ association to cope with. My yard and pool guys do what I ask them to do, not what they’re assigned to do by the local HOA. And from here I can walk (not have to drive) to not one, not two, but THREE very fine grocery stores, a computer store/repair shop, a Best Buy, and (as if I cared) an excellent restaurant.  If Ruby flies into a yap-fest, few of the neighbors can hear her, and none of them will belly-ache about it.

Hmmmm…

Yeah: no. I reckon this place is going to be the shack M’hijito inherits. If he wants to live here, bully for him. If not, he’ll net about half a million bucks for it. Between that and the value of his shack, he should be able to buy the Great Mansion of the Western World. Looks to me like the best strategy just now is to lay low and cling to my dollars.

And go skinny-dipping in my very own backyard pool! 

😀

Pre-Xmas, Continued…

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Ruby the Corgi seems to have gotten over whatever ailed her, the last time we met in these environs. No barfing(!!). No urgency to get outside.

Luz, the Cleaning Lady from Heaven, just showed up at the door. That was a jolt: I didn’t expect her this week!!!

Fortunately the house was sorta kinda almost picked up. So I didn’t look like quite the chucklehead that I am.

Ohhh well.

This morning: walked and walked and walked all over the ‘Hood. Gorgeous day.

Over on the east side of Main Drag East is a somewhat tonier section of the ‘Hood. Still tract houses, yes: but some look a little larger than ours; some look better built. They have irrigation instead of “desert landscaping” (read “gravel yards”), so the landscaping is pretty and much more inviting than ours.

Briefly, I wondered whether I could afford one of those houses.

VERY briefly: Of course not!!!! No, I cannot afford to maintain an irrigated lot full of mow-it-once-a-week grass. Nor could I afford to air-condition one of those palaces. Or pay the taxes on it.

So much for that idea. 😀

One of Those Days: Adumbrated

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Hallelujah, brothers & sisters!  

Dunno what brought Ruby the Corgi under the weather last night, but this morning she seems to be miraculously healed! 

Yes. She’s scarfed down the usual dose of 1/3 can of dawg food. She’s patrolled the backyard — twice, come to think of it. Now she’s standing out there waiting for a burglar to chase off.

😀  Funny little beast. 

At any rate, today she’s acting like her old, healthy self, so I assume whatever ailed her must have been something she ate or some very fast-passing bug.

Whenever the human feels like getting off its duff, we’ll go out and patrol the neighborhood. LOL! The locals must be so glad they have a 30-pound protector looking out after them.

It’s a neighborhood that has much changed over the past few years, yet remains weirdly the same. Our dearest neighbor, locally known as The Ole Guy, disappeared with his wife some time back. He had told me he thought he was going to have to lock her up in an old folks’ home. And I’ll tellya: that guy would never imprison her in a place like that and then walk off, leaving her alone. If he put her in an old-folkerie, you can be sure he put himself there, too.

Meanwhile, SDXB has moved to Sun City, where he took up with New Girlfriend. He seems happy enough, though the last I heard old age has caught up with him and he’s been pretty sick.

I’d be sick, too, if I tried to live in Sun City. My parents proudly retired and moved to Sun City when I went off to college. They thought it was just the business. I thought it was abhorrent.

Seriously: you couldn’t pay me to live there: a ghetto for old folks.

But they thought it was The Bidness. His brother, Ed, and Ed’s harridan of a wife moved there. And my parents’ best friends from Saudi Arabia — Ruth and Hollis — joined them. My mother must have been thrilled to see Ruth move in. The in-laws: not so much, though.

But for me, the place had one major trait working against it: a kind of toxic sameness. All the houses looked alike. All the yards looked alike. All the people looked alike.

The people: old, middle-class, and white. Once a black couple dasted to move in there. They literally were hounded out by the locals.

Hereabouts: I haven’t seen an African-American type move in to these parts. Well, no: one bachelor bought a house a block or two away. But he moved on. Hounded? I doubt it: probably found it costs a lot more to live here than one would expect.

Property taxes are surprisingly high in these parts — probably, I suspect, because the houses are over-valued. Truth to tell, these same models occupy a fair amount of Sun City, which was largely built out by the same developer. A few are a little bigger than SC shacks — mine has four bedrooms, which you surely wouldn’t find out there. And the yards have six-foot walls, with city-owned alleys running behind them. (No alleys in S.C.)  But otherwise, the two developments are much the same.

Except…we have kids!

How can one live without the sound of kids carrying on outside?

Seriously: I love the racket of kids playing. Sun City — devoid of anyone under the age of 50 — was silent as a tomb. Well…except for the damn fighter jets blasting over from Luke Air Force Base. That was a racket.