Coffee heat rising

Inna Minnit…

Oook…squeak! {pace pace paceWhimper! Oook! 

Dog wants out????

In a minnit, Dawg!

Get up off duff, stumble to the kitchen door, fling it open for Her Majesty…

Queen walks around in a circle. Strolls through the kitchen, ambles down the hallway, and heads for her nest under the back bathroom toilet.

Peer outside…

Water is POURING off the roof. Nooo, it’s not raining and hasn’t been raining in weeks. The water is leaking out of the air-conditioner, which clearly is calling out for an expensive repair job.

{sigh} Try to phone air-conditioning dude. Can’t find his number. Call the neighbor, who also hires the same guy. No answer. NATCHERLY: Today is Sunday!

Leave word.

**

Ain’t this loverly? I used to drive through this intersection every time I went out to the Great Desert University, thereinat to teach the young cuties who live in said neighborhood.

What a place we live in!

Every now and again, I contemplate the possibility of selling the Funny Farm and moving someplace safer. But…but…??????  Where on EARTH would that be?

Wherever there be humans, that place is not safe.

Get AC folks on the phone. They’ll send someone out here…whenever. That obviates my walking to the grocery store, which I needed to do…right now. 

But as you know, if I dast to pull any such stunt, that will deliver AC Dude to the front door, right now. 

****

Meanwhile, we wait and we wait and we wait and we wait and we…no sign of AC Dude. Well: not surprising. Forhevvinsake, it’s SUNDAY. Of course the guy doesn’t want to come flying over here at my beck and call.

The leak has stopped. Maybe I should call off the repair dude.

That will cause the leak to start up again, right?

Y’know…moments like this make the idea of moving into an old-folkerie like the Beatitudes look good.

Almost.

How can I count the ways I do not feel like sitting here (and sitting here and sitting here and sitting here) waiting for an AC guy to show up on freaking SUNDAY, f’rgodsake.

Hmmmm…  Temps are supposed to drop into the (very!) low 50s tonight. That will chill off the house…uhm…handsomely.

On the other hand, we have only a 4% chance of rain. So as long as no water falls out of the sky, a cold house will be…tolerable, I suppose.

Maybe I should call off AC Dude until tomorrow. Hm. Of course, there’s no guarantee he WILL show up tomorrow. If he doesn’t, then we’ll have two days (maybe three) of crisp temps in the house.

****

Toooo late! Call them on the phone: the poor guy is on his way.

The puddle out there has almost dried up.

For. Pete’s Sake!

******

Hmmm…. 

Look ye here:
https://ancestors.familysearch.org/en/KWV3-T2S/olive-catherine-getten-1891-1979

This little squib from Ancestors.com claims my mother’s mother — my supposed grandmother — died in 1979. That would have made her 88 when she died.

Uh huh.

My mother told me that she, as a teenager, attended her mother (Olive) on Olive’s deathbed. That she watched Olive die. And that she saw Olive’s body carted off in a hearse.

WTF?

Who was storyin’ there???

Either my mother made up a story and lied her way through it as she delivered it to me…

…or…

Her California family (put THAT in scare quotes!) lied to her in order to get her out of Olive’s hair.

My mother was Olive’s illegitimate child. After a court fight, custody of my (then-infant) mother was awarded to the New York father’s family, and she was largely brought up on her paternal grandparents’ dirt farm in the boondocks of upstate New York.

As you can imagine, in those conditions life expectancy did not normally extend into the 80s, as it does today.

Her grandmother — her father’s mother, the one who lived in the sticks in New York — died of diabetes at a fairly young age.

Since it was considered improper for a single man to live alone, unchaperoned, with a young girl, my mother was then sent to the California relatives.

Meanwhile, her own chippie mother (as the story is told) f*cked her way into a roaring case of uterine cancer, which supposedly carried her away when she was in her 30s. By then my mother was lodging with the California set. And she said she saw the woman die and be transported off down the road in a hearse.

Quite the little tale, isn’t it?

And it becomes more tale-like when indications that Olive did not die when my mother said she did.  Or…uhm…thought she did.

Did my mother lie about Olive’s death?

Why would she do that? A reasonable explanation would be that she never wanted to see the woman again and that she surely did NOT want her daughter to see the chippie woman.

hmmmm

Does that make sense? We spent ten years overseas, in Saudi Arabia, where it was mightily unlikely that Olive would surface and come back to haunt.

And my parents retired to Sun City, Arizona…where they could easily have NOT invited dear Olive to visit.

Yeah. Those are significant parts of the story that do NOT make sense.

Why do I have the worst feeling that Olive did not die when my mother said she died?

Why do I sense that my mother’s august family lied to her about Olive’s (non-)death?

If Olive lived until 1979…well! That was the year I completed the Ph.D. and the year my son — her grandson — was born. I wonder if she knew either of those little factoids about her family history.

The two most logical explanations: Either my mother’s family lied to her about Olive’s (non)demise, or my mother, knowing Olive was still kickin’, lied to me.

do remember one time when my Aunt Gertrude, who was Olive’s sister, was visiting our house in Sun City and the subject of the family history came up…the subject of Olive’s alleged death, we might say.

Gertrude got the strangest look on her face as my mother recited the tale of Olive’s (alleged?) death and the removal of her body from the home, carted away in a hearse. And then we have the report of her at the site above, still kickin’ until 1979.

It raises two interesting questions, both of them probably unanswerable:

* Did my mother know that Olive didn’t die of cancer, that fateful croaking-over day?

* Did Olive know she had a grandson?

Well…there’s a third question: How evil can ya get? 

No, Thank You!!! And it works!

Okay, so now we’ve posted a fresh new edition of our front-door message:

Please be kind enough not to steal this sign

NO SOLICITING, PLEASE

NO PETITIONS, PLEASE

Kindly do not jangle the doorbell.

Occupant is ill and does not wish to yak with you.

Occupant does NOT buy from solicitors.

Astonishingly, I’ve found this little poster actually works to discourage nuisances and idiots from leaning on the doorbell or pounding on the screen door in their efforts to peddle stuff. These days, I hardly get ANY hustlers at the door!

Before I came up with this thing, I’d get at least one pest every two or three days — often one or two a day.

Frankly, I really am amazed that it does work. I seal it inside one of those transparent plastic binder sheet holders. This keeps it dry and seems to protect it pretty well from the ravages of the sun — although it’s in the shade most of the day, anyhow.

LOL! I guess they figure if you’re gonna go to that much trouble to make a sign to shoo them off, you’re not gonna buy anything from them or stand around listening to their political gab. First time I made one of these things, I figured they’d just steal it.

But amazingly, no! Never have had one stolen(!!). And the nuisance doorbell-jangling has fallen to nil. That’s why I know it’s working: we get rafts of those pests.

You do have to put it inside a plastic binder sheet, partly because if they can tear down a piece of paper, they will take that, and partly because the plastic cover nicely protects your sign from rain and blasting sunlight.

Gawd. What a world, eh? Where you have to erect weather-proof signs to keep people from pestering you in your own home!

How DO they know????

Heeeee!!! Seriously: how do people know…for example, when you’re so tired all you want to do is go back to bed, along about 10 in the morning?

That’s when they break out a jackhammer and start RRRATTTA-TATTA-TATTA on the foundation of their house.

No kidding! That’s what the guy catty-corner across the road is up to: jackhammering up the foundation. 

What…

A…

Racket!

This stunt, he pulls just as I’m sitting here thinking I feel AWFUL and what I wanna do is climb back in the sack and go back to sleep. 

Jerk! 

Well, I can’t complain. The morning’s half over — coming on to 9:30 a.m. — so one can’t bellyache that he’s rousting us out of the sack early.

Raining this a.m.: so can’t take the dawg for a walk. I’m stuck here listening to the jerk’s serenade.

These houses all have concrete foundations. They’re laid over clay soil, meaning that when water seeps under there, it can make the soil expand and contract, merrily cracking the flooring.

Truth is, my own house has a number of cracked floors. For reasons I cannot fathom, though, these cracks fail to split the tilework laid on top of the concrete. So even though I know where the cracks are, there’s only one place where a crack running through a couple of tiles is visible. Just two tiles there are affected…so in theory, they could be replaced.

Good luck getting the new installation to match the surrounding mortar… 

 

 

And…So…DO I really wanna stay here?

Out the door as the earliest stores opened, the better to traipse from pillar to post. WHAT a gorgeous day!!!

Neither cool nor warm…we could call it “temperate,” I suppose.

Without a car lurking in the garage, I have two choices: pay an Uber driver to schlep me around, or (hang onto your hat!) to walk. Truth to tell, I much prefer to walk — especially on a lovely day like this one.

An advantage to traveling on foot is that you get to see your fellow residents up close, as well as gazing upon the infrastructure. Today’s junket revealed what anyone with half a brain cell already has observed: that this neighborhood’s population is steadily darkening. Which is to say, large sections are turning Black. Where before you never saw a dusky face in these parts, now I’d say about…ohhh…..one in eight passers-by is of the African-American persuasion.

Most live in the banks of apartments stacked on the west side of Conduit of Blight Blvd.

Do I care?

Probably not.

If my mother were still living, though, she’d be throwing one hissy-fit after another. One of the reasons she and my father moved to (un)charming Sun City was that Black Folk were decidedly not welcome there.

That apparently is still the mood out there. One of my friends — a fellow of the duskier complexion — dared to buy a house out there a few months ago. No kidding: the aging locals harried the guy out. 

Within six months, he’d sold his new place and moved elsewhere.

Well. Sun Citizens feel the same about anyone under the age of around 45 or 50. That’s why I hated loathed and despised rooming with my parents after I graduated from the UofA. What a horrible place!

And what horrible people. 

Can you imagine a housing development whose existence is predicated on keeping certain people out? Out out out OUT! That describes Sun City, down to the smallest molecules. That’s what makes Sun City a horrible place. It’s a housing tract built on hate.

And there’s why I chose to stay here when SDXB took it into his bonnet to move out there, running ahead of Tony the Romanian Landlord’s onslaught.  Any day, I’ll take an angry Eastern European over a chuckleheaded Yankee.

So…uhm…yeah. I do really wanna stay here.

Awww, jeez! Guys!!!!

Dare to sit down to breakfast, and ARF!!!!

Get up to see what the Hound is arfing at, and see Gerardo’s wondrous gang of yard dudes out front.

Dayum!!!

Get off duff. Trot around: pick up junk, put junk away; set up pool so guys can work around it; pick up more junk, put more junk away; pick up and discard mounds of dog sh!t… Finally get the place ready for the men.

Stumble back in the house. Look out front to see if they need me to go out there and unlock the side gate…

and…

and….

THEY’RE GONE!!!!!!!

WTF??????  Nary a sign of a yard dude! Or a yard dude’s truck!!

ohhhh…kayyyy…. So where’s the dog?????

Ruby!

RUBY!!

R-U-U-B-E-E-E-E!!!!!!

Nary a small fuzzy corgi!

Ohhhhh shee-ut! Did they open the gate and let her out?

Frantically search around and search around and call and call and search around and search around and call and call and…and…

Lo!
Here she is! 
Ambling out from underneath the toilet.

ggrrrrrr….  This is gonna be one of THOSE days, ain’t it?

Glorioski! Glorious Day, Glorious Future

Wow! What a gorgeous morning. Intermittent overcast with big, fluffy, cottony clouds. Cool but not cold. The sky wants to rain, but can’t work itself up to that much effort.

Ruby and I frolicked through Upper Richistan, as usual admiring the big ole’ expensive houses and their big, expensive irrigated lawns. Gorgeous neighborhood.

Ours isn’t “gorgeous,” but it’s adequately pleasant. Mid-middle class homes on lots that put enough space between neighbors.

Ruby loved up some workmen…cuteness is like some kind of joy drug for most people. We went on our way eventually. Now we’re back at the house.

And the Human finds itself wondering what next? 

Despite the family track record for longevity, we can pretty safely bet that I don’t have all that much longer to go. Relatives who have lived into their dotage have uniformly been Christian Scientists…tee-totalers, that is.

I ain’t no tee-totaler and never have been. My first boyfriend introduced me to wine when I was about 17, and I’ve been lapping up the stuff ever since. As we know, anything alcoholic is a handy device for shortening your life span. So I think it’s safe to figure I’ve got maybe about 10 years left — at most. Probably a little less than that.

The best I can hope for, I think, is to drop dead…and thereby avoid ending up in some nursing home or prison for old folks. That’s not outside the realm of possibility — as I say, the forebears who dropped dead in their late 90s didn’t drink. I do (with élan!), and so it’s safe to assume I’ve probably cut a good 10 years off the inherited lifespan. But that still would leave me another 10 years. Ten years that I do NOT want to spend in an old-folkerie!!!!

And therein lies the challenge: How to stay out of one of those horrible places. 

They soak up your life savings…and I want my savings to go to my son. Not to a holding pen for old bats. But….

But I have yet to figure out how to protect those savings for him, especially if I live much longer. Even more especially if I live much longer and get sick. How to evade those eventualities, though, does escape me.

If I manage to stay healthy into my dotage, though, M’hijito should inherit enough to retire in comfort…forthwith. By then, it’ll be time for him to figure out how to evade life in the old-folkerie…  😀