Coffee heat rising

Ugh!

Quarter to Four….in the morning. The dog is sick.

She’s got sh!t stuck all over her rear end. Cleaned her up as best as I could…which ain’t very. If and when it warms up this morning…if and when morning ever comes…I’ll have to haul her into the bathtub, scrub her down, haul her out, dry her off…a good half-hour or forty minutes of dog-and-human struggle.

Yay. I can hardly wait.

Human is starved. Bolting down some bread and cheese.

Dog is now giving the Human the famous fork it over, you! look.

Oh, good, saith the Human Why don’t I arm you with bread & cheese so you can barf it all over the bed?

Craparoonies! Now she’s laying there moaning softly with each breath.

Puff…ook
Puff…ook
Puff…ook

Please, please dear doggie! DON’T barf on the bed at 3:53 in the effin’ morning!

Of course it’s Sunday, running up to Christmas. Name a vet that’s gonna be open…

THIS is gonna be One…of…Those…Days, isn’t it?

She Would’ve Loved….

Oh, my goodness! How my mother would have loved this adorable little corgi. Ruby is…

…hopelessly cute(!!)
…sweeter than candy
…doggily persuasive
…richly funny

What a charmer. She surely would have seduced my mother within minutes of their meeting. And they would have been pals for life.

Or at least, for rest of my mother’s life.

She’s long-gone now. My father remarried; then he died in misery. The new wife was merrily ejected from my life…she’d be about 181 by now, I imagine, if she were still living.

My mother was murdered by the tobacco peddlers.

Yeah. If you have a kid…or anyone you care about or who cares about you…don’t get seduced into smoking. It truly is a murderous custom.

She deserved to see her grandson. She deserved to see the cuteness that is the corgi. She deserved to live out her husband’s life. But no. She smoked herself to death, and so never saw any of those things…or any of the other beautiful things that should have graced her later life.

Don’t let them kill you, friends!

But do get a corgi!!!! 😀  Everyone should have a corgi. Right?

Is there a REASON we never notice…???

{chortle!} Just back from the early morning dawg traipse. It’s a little after 9 a.m.

I take it into my vacant little noggin that I should walk over to the Sprouts (a few blocks away, across Main Drag West), thereinat to buy a new bag of coffee beans and some beloved dawg food and…such-like. What time do they open?

Get online and discover they’ve been open since 7 this morning!

Argha!!!!  If I had a fake “disabled” dog vest for Ruby, we could have darted in there while we were trudging around the neighborhood!

Not quite my style… But…did you realize you can buy those things online? Amazon peddles alleged “disabled” dog vests for a dime a dozen.

Well…a large dime. But still: they’re easily available. Probably can get them in local pet stores, too.

LOL! I was sitting in the church one day when some lady came in with a ridiculous tiny pooch, gussied up in an alleged “disabled” vest. She picked the little guy up and set him on the pew next to her!

Holee holee maquerel!

You don’t see obvious fake “service dog” vests often. Mostly you see them in grocery stores around here, no doubt because dogs are considered too unsanitary to allow in a grocery store. In England, we saw companion dogs everywhere: not just in grocery stores and pharmacies but also in restaurants. Around here, a “service dog” vest is something you might see once every two or three weeks…probably because the things are kind of expensive.

And most people don’t have the chutzpah to tell someone who dares to challenge them to kindly fu*k off. Who needs that kind of confrontation?

😀
😮
😀

Colder Than a By-gawd…

…as my father used to say. Things were colder than, hotter than, faster than, slower than, pricier than, smarter than, stupider than…a by-gawd. 

And no, I don’t know if he knew what the word “bigod” meant. Or even that there was such a word. He wasn’t what you’d call a real eddycated fella.

At any rate, it’s passing crisp out there on the back porch: 40 degrees. For southern Arizona, that’s practically an Arctic freeze!

Was gonna take the dog for her (usual) daily walk this ayem, but decided agin’ it given the chill on the air. So…we loaf.

Actually, Ruby patrols the back yard, ever-hopeful that the beloved Pool Dude will show up. Oh, how she adores that man! 

And whyThat escapes me. He looks like an ordinary sorta fella, a guy who got trained to clean pools while he was serving a prison sentence (as indeed is the case with many pool dudes). WHAT has he done to so ingratiate himself with that dawg?

Seriously: she does know when it’s Pool Dude day (how???), and she lurks by the door or by the pool fence waiting for him to show up.

Ooohh well. It’s after 9:00 ayem and still damn cold out there.

Probably should stroll over to the Sprouts or the Albertson’s and restock a few (un)necessaries. But my enthusiasm for traipsing through the ‘Hood and dodging bums to the left of me and bums to the right of me is…well…limited. So is the enthusiasm for leaving Ruby locked up in the house when she really does need a walk.

Occurs to me that I could order up a service dog vest for Ruby, so I can take her into stores and (apparently) even on busses and streetcars. You can buy them on Amazon, no questions asked. Apparently people are not allowed(!!) to ask you for any other evidence or proof that your mutt really is a service dog. If we had one of those li’l costumes, we both could go into any of the five grocery and drug stores within easy walking distance of the Funny Farm. Down at the church, one woman even used to bring her lap-dog sized little mutt to the services, gussied up in one of those vests, and park it next to her on a pew!

Heh heh…not to say {cackle!!}….  Has a certain appeal, doesn’t it?

LOL! I wonder if bums would leave you alone if you had a corgi with you. 😀

Seriously: when a German shepherd would accompany me on a stroll around the ‘Hood, NO ONE would pester me. Lacking such a bodyguard, o’course, the locals will hit you up for handouts, make passes at you, holler obscenities at you…  Blech! What a place.

Maybe I should follow SDXB to Sun City: a.k.a. Mausoleum West. 

[sigh} I truly hated living there when my parents had a Sun City house.

Nice loafing porch, eh? Looks just like my parents' place...At the time they were there, the place was Hate Central. If anyone of a darker persuasion dared to move in, they would be HOUNDED out. And yea verily: I kid you not. That happened, just a year or so ago, to a friend of mine. So I assume Sun City is still as Whitey-White as it was Back in the Day.

What an awful place!

Well. They liked it, though. The constant roar of fighter jets overhead (ooohhh, it’s the sound of freedom! my mother would coo) was a worthwhile trade-off, in their minds, for a housing tract fully free of brown faces.

And one benefit of it would be a paucity of jerks hanging around waiting for women to ogle.

 

 

Dog as Everywhere Everywhen Companion

Good grief!!!  Did you realize that…my goodness!  You don’t need to have official, doctor-certified proof that your dog is a service dog to acquire a “service dog” vest that will let you take the critter just about anyplace you can go?

Check this out:  Service Dog Info

Really, all you need is a service dog vest, which you can order from Amazon.

And if some clown demands to see proof the dog is a certified “service dog”? Well:  You raise your hackles and you get huffy as hell and you tell him to take a flying f*** at the moon.

The likelihood that anyone will bother you is fairly low. But knowing humanity, don’t you just KNOW someone will pestiferize you? So be prepared with a high-handed reply. Practice it at home, even.

Betcha you could get away with it 99% of the time.

😀

Seriously (almost)… If I could take Ruby with me, right this minute I’d get off my duff and hike over to the Albertson’s or the Sprouts, dawg in tow. Dawg would be delighted. I’d get a bottle of beer or a package of junk food. And I wouldn’t feel even the slightest bit guilty over galloping off and leaving the dawg behind at the house.

Inna Minnit…

Oook…squeak! {pace pace paceWhimper! Oook! 

Dog wants out????

In a minnit, Dawg!

Get up off duff, stumble to the kitchen door, fling it open for Her Majesty…

Queen walks around in a circle. Strolls through the kitchen, ambles down the hallway, and heads for her nest under the back bathroom toilet.

Peer outside…

Water is POURING off the roof. Nooo, it’s not raining and hasn’t been raining in weeks. The water is leaking out of the air-conditioner, which clearly is calling out for an expensive repair job.

{sigh} Try to phone air-conditioning dude. Can’t find his number. Call the neighbor, who also hires the same guy. No answer. NATCHERLY: Today is Sunday!

Leave word.

**

Ain’t this loverly? I used to drive through this intersection every time I went out to the Great Desert University, thereinat to teach the young cuties who live in said neighborhood.

What a place we live in!

Every now and again, I contemplate the possibility of selling the Funny Farm and moving someplace safer. But…but…??????  Where on EARTH would that be?

Wherever there be humans, that place is not safe.

Get AC folks on the phone. They’ll send someone out here…whenever. That obviates my walking to the grocery store, which I needed to do…right now. 

But as you know, if I dast to pull any such stunt, that will deliver AC Dude to the front door, right now. 

****

Meanwhile, we wait and we wait and we wait and we wait and we…no sign of AC Dude. Well: not surprising. Forhevvinsake, it’s SUNDAY. Of course the guy doesn’t want to come flying over here at my beck and call.

The leak has stopped. Maybe I should call off the repair dude.

That will cause the leak to start up again, right?

Y’know…moments like this make the idea of moving into an old-folkerie like the Beatitudes look good.

Almost.

How can I count the ways I do not feel like sitting here (and sitting here and sitting here and sitting here) waiting for an AC guy to show up on freaking SUNDAY, f’rgodsake.

Hmmmm…  Temps are supposed to drop into the (very!) low 50s tonight. That will chill off the house…uhm…handsomely.

On the other hand, we have only a 4% chance of rain. So as long as no water falls out of the sky, a cold house will be…tolerable, I suppose.

Maybe I should call off AC Dude until tomorrow. Hm. Of course, there’s no guarantee he WILL show up tomorrow. If he doesn’t, then we’ll have two days (maybe three) of crisp temps in the house.

****

Toooo late! Call them on the phone: the poor guy is on his way.

The puddle out there has almost dried up.

For. Pete’s Sake!

******

Hmmm…. 

Look ye here:
https://ancestors.familysearch.org/en/KWV3-T2S/olive-catherine-getten-1891-1979

This little squib from Ancestors.com claims my mother’s mother — my supposed grandmother — died in 1979. That would have made her 88 when she died.

Uh huh.

My mother told me that she, as a teenager, attended her mother (Olive) on Olive’s deathbed. That she watched Olive die. And that she saw Olive’s body carted off in a hearse.

WTF?

Who was storyin’ there???

Either my mother made up a story and lied her way through it as she delivered it to me…

…or…

Her California family (put THAT in scare quotes!) lied to her in order to get her out of Olive’s hair.

My mother was Olive’s illegitimate child. After a court fight, custody of my (then-infant) mother was awarded to the New York father’s family, and she was largely brought up on her paternal grandparents’ dirt farm in the boondocks of upstate New York.

As you can imagine, in those conditions life expectancy did not normally extend into the 80s, as it does today.

Her grandmother — her father’s mother, the one who lived in the sticks in New York — died of diabetes at a fairly young age.

Since it was considered improper for a single man to live alone, unchaperoned, with a young girl, my mother was then sent to the California relatives.

Meanwhile, her own chippie mother (as the story is told) f*cked her way into a roaring case of uterine cancer, which supposedly carried her away when she was in her 30s. By then my mother was lodging with the California set. And she said she saw the woman die and be transported off down the road in a hearse.

Quite the little tale, isn’t it?

And it becomes more tale-like when indications that Olive did not die when my mother said she did.  Or…uhm…thought she did.

Did my mother lie about Olive’s death?

Why would she do that? A reasonable explanation would be that she never wanted to see the woman again and that she surely did NOT want her daughter to see the chippie woman.

hmmmm

Does that make sense? We spent ten years overseas, in Saudi Arabia, where it was mightily unlikely that Olive would surface and come back to haunt.

And my parents retired to Sun City, Arizona…where they could easily have NOT invited dear Olive to visit.

Yeah. Those are significant parts of the story that do NOT make sense.

Why do I have the worst feeling that Olive did not die when my mother said she died?

Why do I sense that my mother’s august family lied to her about Olive’s (non-)death?

If Olive lived until 1979…well! That was the year I completed the Ph.D. and the year my son — her grandson — was born. I wonder if she knew either of those little factoids about her family history.

The two most logical explanations: Either my mother’s family lied to her about Olive’s (non)demise, or my mother, knowing Olive was still kickin’, lied to me.

do remember one time when my Aunt Gertrude, who was Olive’s sister, was visiting our house in Sun City and the subject of the family history came up…the subject of Olive’s alleged death, we might say.

Gertrude got the strangest look on her face as my mother recited the tale of Olive’s (alleged?) death and the removal of her body from the home, carted away in a hearse. And then we have the report of her at the site above, still kickin’ until 1979.

It raises two interesting questions, both of them probably unanswerable:

* Did my mother know that Olive didn’t die of cancer, that fateful croaking-over day?

* Did Olive know she had a grandson?

Well…there’s a third question: How evil can ya get?