Coffee heat rising

Moving: A Bad Idea

So here I am: coveting the Old Neighborhood. Thinking how much I’d love to move back down into the historic mid-town Encanto neighborhood, where DXH and I spent the first 15 years or so of our marriage. Where M’ijito grew old enough to pass through the first several years of the tony private grade school where we sent him. Where I wrote a Ph.D. dissertation, got it accepted by a prestigious publisher, finished the degree, and thereby made myself unemployable.

Ahhhh, the good ole days!

Ruby and I traipsed all over the place this afternoon, from our old part of the district through the expensively tony Palmcroft neighborhood, into the park…round and round.

I loved our time in the Encanto/Palmcroft district, and greatly regretted feeling we needed to move out. Before we sold our beautiful historic home and moved up to the North Central area, DXH had told me we would put our son in the highly respected Madison schools, the best public school district in the state. I figured Cool! He could get a first-rate K-8 experience, meet and make friends with offspring of the prominent North Central set, and from there proceed with the other Richistani kids to attend the weighty and prestigious Brophy Catholic High School. Or, failing that, go through Central High School, without doubt the state’s best public high school.

Well. Uh…no.

Once we got moved, DXH refused to switch the kid into a public school. So there we were in Snobsville North, where I knew no one and no one felt any craving to make friends with white trash of my ilk.

(No, in case you haven’t figured it out: My parents were not professionals, they were not even college graduates, and they knew nothing about how to function as socialites…)

The marriage didn’t survive that fun period. I ended up  back south where the WT live, and then eventually skipped around to the far side of the tony North Central district, landed in some apartments on the north side, and extracted a full-time teaching job from Arizona State University.

At any rate, leaving the Encanto District to move up to North Central meant leaving behind beloved neighbors, beautiful historic houses, and a wonderful central location close to cultural and entertainment amenities. Eventually it also meant me leaving behind the marriage, the lawyer, and the trying social life…and the beloved neighbors, the beautiful historic houses, and the central city location with its proximity to cultural and entertainment amenities.

Ohhh well…

Since then, a lot of things have changed. A full-time job at the Great Desert University meant I could support myself. My parents’ dying, one at a time, meant I had no one to nag me to stay in the (highly advantageous) marriage. But their demise also left me with enough money to support me for the rest of my life. I bought into a decent neighborhood on the fringe of North Central, and here we are.

But I still miss the lovely Encanto district. Cruising the area, I wondered: would I like to sell my house here on the fringe of Sunnyslope and move back downtown?

The answer is mixed. A lot of things are improved up here on the north end of North Central, as compared to the picturesque historic Encanto district. But a lot of things are de-proved, as it were…

Why move?

  • Sunnyslope is kind of menacing. It is, after all, a high-crime area.
  • We therefore have lots of noise from cop helicopters.
  • Then there’s the noise from the annoying lightrail train.
  • The noise from  traffic and sirens on Conduit of Blight Blvd amplify the racket.
  • And we do have some interestingly sh!t-headed neighbors.

Why NOT move?

  • I could in theory walk to two markets & a drugstore from here. My spectacularly superannuated great-grandmother used to walk that far several times a week in Berkeley: straight uphill. Here, though, to get through the heat and dodge the panhandlers and thieves, you have to drive to the stores or use Uber.
  • M’hijito wants this house.
  • I don’t know anybody downtown anymore.
  • Young people who don’t like older people infest that place — Encanto is Encanto because of the young people who covet the beautiful historic homes. Discrimination against elders is a real thing, and it’s likely to be far worse there in Yuppieville than it is up here in a more diverse neighborhood.
  • It’s even noisier there than it is here (she says,. as a plane buzzes overhead…).
  • One wonders: why spend that kinda money for not much improvement in lifestyle?
  • The pool here is an expensive nuisance, but it could be drained and decked.
  • The Romanian Landlord’s tribe are shitheads, but WGAS? And what guarantees that you won’t have shitheads there?

Many more nuances come into play:

  • Care of elders: soon enough, I may have to hire someone to come in to care for me, or else move into a long-term care facility.
  • This house is paid for and in good condition. If I pass it to M’jito he could move in here and have a palatial little shack with a pool and about four times more space than he needs.
  • On the other hand, who wants to pay for and ride herd on four times more space than you need?
  • Unloading this place and moving into a care facility might greatly reduce my taxes.
  • This area is really not very safe.
  • But then, neither is the area where M’jito lives. Toss-up!

The truth is, I don’t know which way to jump because it probably doesn’t matter which way one jumps. Either way presents a set of pro’s and a set of con’s.

So…we’re cast back on that reliable old adage:

When in doubt, don ‘t.

Lovely Uptown Phoenix…

Ah, yes. Three-thirty in the morning and another gunshot rings out.

Sounded like it came from Main Drag North. However, it could’ve been a neighbor taking a pot-shot at another prowler. The other night, one of the locals found some sh!thead standing in his teenaged daughter’s bedroom, gazing fondly at the sleeping kid.

What. A. Place!

If my son were not living in central Phoenix, I would be sooooo long gone!

Where to?

Well, really: no place in the Phoenix area is safe. The entire city is awash in crime. And nut cases. If I had my choice and wanted to stay in this area, I’d probably be…where?…. Hmmm…. Parts of Paradise Valley, especially gated communities. Sun City, if brain-banging boredom and freedom from competent doctors are your thing.

Weird noise hums out. What?

Get up to go check on that. It’s not my pool motor (that’s something, anyway). Can’t hear it out the back door. Probably some car or AC motor reverberating down from the north.

Garden spot.

Stop the World…

i wanna get off!!!!!

This damn place — lovely uptown Phoenix — gets crazier and crazier with each passing day. Accumulated passing days have given us insane cross-streets and neighborhood roads: lunatic drivers, roads that go nowhere, a construction zone at every turn…what a horrible place!

Wait, wait… Whew! A miracle just happened: WordPress let me in to Funny about Money, a maneuver it’s been rejecting all morning.

I could not remember the secret codes…or much of anything else. Apparently the computer’s memory has not yet been consumed by senility: at length, it remembered SOMETHING and let me into FaM’s site.

So this morning I determined to buy a silly dood-dad that I’ve been coveting for some time. So it was off to the gigantic {supermarket} up on Dunlap Road.

They didn’t have it.

Ohhhkayyyyy….

Around the corner to the hardware store:

Noooo…not a chance in Hell.,

Ohhhhhkayyyyy,,,,

Across Main Drag Central, over to the westside shopping area, into another hardware store.

Nope.,

Into another supermarket.

Har har hardy-har har!

Over to the Safeway.

Not a chance in Hell.

Up to the Albertson’s. It may not be Hell, but it doesn’t have a chance of carrying the doo-dad, either.

Driving around & around. Ugh!

Truth to tell, I love to drive. But I am SO-O-O-O SICK of driving in L.A. East!!!!! Gawdlmighty, I hate the homicidal streets of Phoenix. Just a nasty, frustrating, crazy-making place to drive a car.

Driving around gets crazier with each day. People behave like they’re high on meth, wherever they go. Who knows? Maybe in my senilitude, I do the same thing. All I know is…GET OUTTA MY WAY, YA CRAZY FOOLS!

Seriously: that’s how it feels to drive here.

The more Phoenix resembles the L.A. area, the more I hate it.

Seriously: if my son didn’t live here, I would be sooooooooo long gone!

Where would I go?

Hm….

Here in Arizona?

* Sedona
* the Oro Valley area outside of Tucson
* Fountain Hills, an overpriced suburb of Scottsdale
* Prescott (probably not: too cold in the winter)

Uhmmmm…that’s about it.

In California:

* San Francisco
* Certain parts of San Diego
* Carmel/Monterey, if I had all the money in the world

In Nevada?

*Phbbhphttt!

In New Mexico?

* Santa Fe: again, if I had all the money in the world

****

Welp! Since “All the money in the world” doesn’t apply here. it looks like I’m stuck. And the more I live in Central Arizona, the less I like it.

****

Advice to the unwary: think one helluva lot more carefully than I did about where you’d like to spend your dotage!

The Salton Sea Boondoggle

About the time we came back from Saudi Arabia for (thank gawd!) our last long leave, my father celebrated by purchasing the Car of His Dreams: a Chrysler sedan. He bought it in New York. He and my mother drove it across the country to San Francisco, where he took up a first-mate’s job on an oil tanker and we lived for a couple of years in a tony apartment complex called Parkmerced. Then he got another, better-paying job, shipping out of Long Beach, California.  So my mother and I packed up all our worldly goods, sent everything south, and moved into a (crummy!) apartment in Southern California.

Of course, we took the new Chrysler with us.

My father was so proud of that car. It was a Rolls Royce for the working classes. At least, so it was in his mind.

Meanwhile, my father being quite the cheapskate, my mother took it into her head to create her own little career: selling real estate. She had become friendly with a real estate saleswoman who was quite the scam artist. This woman persuaded my mother to get a real estate license and throw in with her, selling houses at the Salton Sea.

Salton Sea, then imagined to be a developer’s bonanza, was one of the Great Scams of the Western World.  And my mother got swept right up in it. Fortunately, she didn’t buy any property down there, so my father didn’t lose his hard-earned shirt through her real-estate exploit. But….

Among other things, one aspect of my mother’s project involved driving from L.A. through Palm Springs and down to the half-baked development at Salton Sea. And that involved driving through a broad, sandy desert, where the wind blew fiercely.

Fiercely enough to sandblast the finish off that swell new car, right down to the metal.

My father must have just been horrified when he came home from the ship and saw the paint scoured off his beautiful new car.

And for what?

For naught. Salton Sea, as it developed, was one of the Great Scams of the Western World.

***

She had no clue. Neither, unfortunately, did he. But one senses that if he’d had a shore job, if he hadn’t been off at sea for week after week and month after month, he would have sussed out the rip-off before she got caught up in it..

I was just a kid in high school. I therefore had an excuse (of sorts) to have no clue. Instinct suggested that all was not perfect there, but there was no way in Hell (where we were dwelling…) that I could have figured out that it was a huge, ridiculous scam. Even if I could have, my parents paid no attention to me. I MIGHT have alerted my father…but probably not. As far as he was concerned, I was just a weird little kid — and worse, a weird female kid.

So they got sucked into the Salton Sea boondoggle. How much they lost — above and beyond the damage to a brand-new Chrysler — I do not know. They didn’t share their financial matters with a weird little kid.

Mercifully, she didn’t buy any property down there. I’m pretty sure that was only because my father wouldn’t have allowed it. He clung to every penny more fiercely than Scrooge McDuck hung onto his dollars.

Luckily for me..

High Noon at the Hubs of Hades…

Good GAWD, but it’s hot out there! Hot and humid!

Just back from a brief perambulation with the dog: over to the park, tromp down to the playground, then trudge on back via Feeder Street E/W. Our honored civic leaders have got the streets plowed up all around the place, so there’s relatively little traffic over there. Bums? Only a couple: it’s hotter than the Hubs just now, so I expect the vagrants are taking in the slack at the nearby bum hostleries, provided courtesy of our taxpayer dollars.

This, after a fast, very hot trip to AJ’s, there to pick up enough groceries and dawg food to last a day or two. Not too annoying: the usual party of transients and sight-seers was absent, so one could walk across the store’s front porch without having to dodge the weird, the wonderful, and the nuisancey.

Even with the AC blasting away in the car though, the trip was hot, blinding, and bloody uncomfortable. Can’t walk across the street without risk of burning the doggy feet on the asphalt…so it was a brief junket.

Boyoboy, do I miss San Francisco! Sure do wish I could afford to live there!

 

Someday in My LIfetime…?

Waiting…and waiting…and waiting…and waiting…for the exterminator guy to show up.  Nice long rivers of bug shit are streaming down the west wall from the attic. That would be, as we know, TERMITES.

So I need to get somebody to get up in the attic, spray nauseating toxins around up there. Then hire a carpenter to come repair the (possibly considerable!) damage.

Termites — the wood-eating variety — are a relatively recent import here, brought into the Valley by the whitey immigrants from around the country and around the world. I can recall when they first showed up in the toney Arcadia District, over on the east side of town.

Now they’re all over the city: every part of town has them.

Hope I’m not confronted with a lot of expensive repair work. This is the second time I’ve had to get an exterminator in here to beat them back.

Speaking of attics, a crew of guys is on the roof across the street, strolling around up there as though they were taking a Sunday walk. Looks like they’re totally reroofing the house.

Ohhhh goodie. That’s all I need: to have to get my house re-roofed!

Wonder if the homeowner’s insurance will cover it? Heh…we’ll soon find out.

My son really wants this house. If I’m to pass it along to him, somehow I’ve gotta get the bugs out, repair the damage, and keep the critters out.

LOL!!!  In the Washington Post Outspell game I’m killing time with just now, two words came up, linked:

CHEWER
and
ROOF

What are they tryin’ to say to us?

😀