Coffee heat rising

Gettin’ Old…or Gettin’ Walloped?

Lordie, it’s only ten to seven p.m., and I’m so tired I can hardly see.

Ruby is crapped out at the bottom of the bed, presumably also reamed, steamed, and dry-cleaned.

Of course, we’ve been awake half of every night, what with the New Year’s “celebrations” and various acts of vandalism.

Meanwhile, the docs out at the Mayo want to subject my brain to an MRI. Looking into this procedure, I decide that on this, they are not a-gunna get their wish.

Half the afternoon (or so it felt) at the physical therapist. That guy is some kinda low-key miracle worker. By the time I left his precincts, the hip pain was gone — as in GONE gone — and it has stayed gone all afternoon.

Dog and I walked, fairly briskly, for about an hour this evening. So…I guess I’m not crippled.

Yet.

 

We thought it was entertaining at 9 p.m.?

Now it’s 12:30 in the morning. THE most unholy racket has been going on out there since shortly before midnight: a long, loud rolling tattoo of BAM BANG BLAST BANG WHISTLE BLAST BANG BAM.

Yeah. Some fun, eh Fun? What the Hell gets into people? Is every moron in the neighborhood (and in all the surrounding neighborhoods) drunk, high, or stoned stupid?

Ruby the Corgi, who apparently is not enraged by Stupid, is conkered out on the bed. Wish I was, too. But even after the morons get finished “celebrating,” the arm will still hurt so much it will obviate sleeping.

May every idiot who can’t force him- or herself to think about other people enjoy the same. Lots of the same, in upcoming nights.

Off the Wall Since the Fourth of July

LOL! Actually, the issue is ON the wall: the great mounds of cat’s-claw vines that have piled up all over my backyard wall. The one that runs along the alley. The alley where the Brats and the Nitwits are blasting off their bang-bangs…and will be, for hours to come.

A few years ago, the State of Arizona and the City of Phoenix decided to legalize fireworks. It bein’ an ethnic thing, after all. And a patriotic thing. Is that “ethno-patriotic”? 😀

Fireworks manufacturers have descended on the city and now sell bangers and crashers from every corner parking lot in the city. Result: BANG BAM BAM BANG POW BAM BAM POW KEEEEEEBLAST BANG POP POP POP BANG BAMMMM BANG BLAST POP BANG WHACK BLAST…half the night. It’s 9:00 now. The antics have been going on a good two hours. With no end in sight.

The back wall along my lot line, running up the alley, is festooned with thick, heavy cat’s claw vines. They’ve formed a kind of carpet over the thing. Piled up on year after year of past, now dried-out growth…

A highly flammable carpet.

Stupidly, I didn’t think about the likelihood that ninnies would be out in that alley setting off their toys. And other ninnies would be driving by and riding their bikes by to throw their bang-bangs into the alley. So…that creates quite a fire risk.

If my brain had been in gear this afternoon, I would’ve dragged the hose out there and saturated those damn vines. But — lacking a noticeable IQ these days — naturally I didn’t even think of it.

Very.

Very.

Stupid…

Age seems to bring stupidity in the door with it.

So now I’ll have to wait till the middle of the night before I dast to go to sleep. Wait until the morons have exhausted all their toys. Wait until they’ve gone off to drink or smoke themselves into a stupor.

Hmmmmmm….. I wonder….

If some A$$-hole sets fire to the vines out there — which will soon jump to the roof and consume the house — could I sue our honored state, county, and city fathers for legalizing a clear and present fire hazard?

Unholy Christmas…Unholy Scheming

Over in the fringe precincts of North Central’s Richistan — within walking distance of my son’s house — we had an unholy event the other day. Some nut case — a rather prominent one — murdered his entire family and then blew out his own diseased brain.

The horror of this happening aside…that place is in a lovely area, and right in the middle of the part of Phoenix I frequent. Not only could you walk to M’jito’s place from there, you also could walk to the beloved AJ’s and over to several decent restaurants and even down to my car mechanic’s place without much trouble.

When the unholy story came in across the Internet, an unholy thought leapt into my fevered little mind: I wonder if I could buy that place at a fire-sale price?

Lots of unholiness going around today, no?

Seriously, though: that house is in one of the nicest, prettiest parts of old North Central Phoenix. It’s a lush, irrigated district, far away from the slums of Sunnyslope and West Phoenix, where my house resides.

Dreadful as it seems to think about this…I am seriously thinking of calling one of my Realtor friends to find out if we could glom the house at a price comparable to what we could get for my ever-so-much humbler (and less bloodied…) abode.

On the one hand, you don’t even wanna think about what it would cost to render it livable. Presumably the flooring would have to be replaced, along with a fair amount of drywall. And everything repainted.

One wonders if their homeowner’s insurance would cover any of that. Probably not. Blowing away your family a natural disaster does not make. Besides…who’s left to receive the money?

On the other hand, even if you had to pay every penny of the repairs, it would be worth it. Those are million-dollar houses down there, in a beautiful, mature centrally located district. So…oh, my goodness, what a place!

On the third hand, I hafta admit: I’m not sure I could even afford the property taxes for one of those places.

But ohhh…it would be a long way from Tony’s Home for Juvenile Delinquents, from the oceans of crime represented by Sunnyslop to the north of us and the run-down slum apartments to the west of us.

Seriously: my neighborhood itself is very pleasant, but it’s flanked on two sides by truly dangerous districts. The fancy-Dan neighborhood that recently hosted the scene of the crime is a very nice area, indeed, and the humbler areas (if you can call them that) around it are on the high side of middle-class. Upper-middle-class, really.

If I could get my hands on that place at a fire-sale price…well… Maybe I could afford it.

Tony’s instant slum across the street will cut about a hundred grand off the asking price for my house. But with a suicide/murder scenario in place, buying that place in North Central could be a wash.

That’s assuming I can get the previous owner’s insurance to clean up the blood and repair the damage.

Think I’ll jump in my car and drive down there…see if I can get close enough to shoof around.

Stylishly Stupid

Thinking about the teachers we had in Ras Tanura’s grade school, not with much pleasure where most of them were concerned.

The first-grade teacher, Miss Woods, was excellent — by the grace of God. We had no kindergarten, so at least this woman started me out on the right foot.

The second-grade teacher was a witch. Stupid as a post…if only posts could be not mean.

The third-grade teacher, Miss Gaskill, also was excellent. Between Woods and Gaskill, I learned to read exceptionally well and sorta kinda figured out arithmetic (which I dearly hated).

The fourth-grade teacher was so stupid as to make a post look smart. Ignorant? She defined ignorance. And was proud of it.

Fifth grade brought me to a “world traveler”: one of those women who out of boredom and curiosity convert their teaching credentials into a ticket to jobs overseas. Stupid, she probably wasn’t; but she was mean, at least to weird little girls who didn’t conform to her definition of American girlhood. I loathed the woman. Managed to get out of her class (thanks to the machinations of my mother and her best friend, a nurse in the camp clinic, who contrived to persuade my father I was so sickly I needed to be sent home to the States).

So, mercifully, I escaped the Ras Tanura Senior Staff School and arrived in the U.S. halfway through the sixth grade, having been out of classes for the better part of a year — supposedly too “sick” to attend.

In San Francisco, where we came to light, I was so far ahead of grade that the teacher hardly knew what to do with me. I quickly moved on to junior high school, also well ahead of grade (I had been tutored at home for the better part of a year). And oh, my! I was so, sooooo happy to get on the other side of the globe from Saudi Arabia!

And out of the Saudified Americans’ lock-step schools.

Just because your kid isn’t doing well in grade school may not mean something’s wrong with the kid. The problem may be with the school itself, or with the kid’s charming little classmates. Don’t assume anything…

Random ruminations…

Chilly, windy day: morning breezes have blown away most of the cloud cover. In an hour, I have to be at the physical therapist’s, meaning I have to leave in 45 minutes. Nothing from my son as to whether he’s picking me up or when. But this poses no problem for the appointment, because the spavined shoulder is healing MUCH faster than I imagined possible, and I certainly can drive my car the couple of miles to get to the PT’s office/clinic/gym/whatever-you-call-it.

I can think of about a thousand things I’d rather do than spend another hour going hup-hup-up, flapping my arms around. WHAT a bore! However….gotta admit that just one session seems to have made a huge difference. The joint hardly hurts at all, and I can move the arm in just about any direction without a startling stab of pain.

Meanwhile, there’s a Safeway catty-corner across the street from the PT’s joint. Some groceries are in order…so whenever I get free from the “therapy” or whatever it is, I can dodge over there and refill the fridge. That’s assuming my son doesn’t show up to haul me over there.

If he does, he’ll need to get back to work ASAP: this business of his taking 90 minutes or two hours off to ferry me around in the middle of the afternoon is NOT satisfactory.

*****
Wasting way too much time reminiscing
about old times and daydreaming about childhood friends.

Few of those were in evidence, back in the Bad Old Days of Saudi Arabian exile. I was a weird little kid: instead of craving to grow up to be a pretty little wife and mommy, instead of spending my endless hours pretending to cook meals on a play stove, I craved to become an astrophysicist.

No kidding. That’s what I wanted, back in the days when girls could  barely get into a public college, to say nothing of majoring in science. HAR HAR!  I had no idea I would not be allowed to pursue a career in astronomy or physics…I imagined I would grow up, escape the horrid confines of Saudi Arabia, get in to Cal Berkeley (where other members of my family went…members of the male persuasion, by and large), and major in astronomy.

Heeeeee!
Dream on, girlie!

Anyway, because I was too stupid to keep my mouth shut about this line of thought, my little colleagues in school saw me as a hilarious butt of teasing and tormenting. By the sixth grade, I hated school so violently I would dream up just about any excuse to stay home. Consequently, my mother thought of me as sickly…she fell for every tale I’d tell her.

One of her best friends out there, though, was a nurse. This woman was no fool.

Somehow she figured out what was going on, and she recognized that I was just…flat…MISERABLE living in that horrid place. What she did — one of the biggest favors anyone ever did for me during my entire lifetime — was to tell my mother that I needed to come back to the United States and be enrolled in a decent school here. She convinced my mother that the two of them needed to dream up a tale to faze past my father, something that would persuade him to send my mother and me back to the U.S. well before it was time for him to retire and come back to the States.

Don’t know what they did or how they did it, but…they DID do it. I’d already been taken out of the nasty grade school, thereby escaping the second-stupidist  primary-school teacher of my life (the stupidest one surfaced in the fourth grade). Now instead of having me tutored privately, my mother managed to get my father to send us home to San Francisco.

There, she enrolled me (by luck and by God, as far as I can tell) in a wonderful school that was part of San Francisco State University’s College of Education.

  • The teachers did not treat me like sh!t.
  • Indeed, most of the teachers appeared to have inherited their fair share of IQ points.
  • The kids did not know I was the weird little kid. They treated me like one of their own.
  • Because I had nothing to do in Arabia but study and read, I was far, far, far ahead of my grade level. The sixth-grade teacher they dropped me on must have been astonished.
  • And I even made a couple of actual friends, if you can imagine.

****

Back from the Magical Mystical Physical Therapist!

That guy really is good at what he does. As in amazingly good. After an hour of hopping around at that place, the arm hardly hurts at all, and it moves almost as well as it did before I busted it. He listened to what I said MayoDoc said and issued some advice about what to ask and who else to talk with.

At any rate, I gathered we can expect the complete healing process to take about six weeks.

From there it was over to AJs, where as usual I failed to buy all the things we need. Tomorrow I’ll have to traipse back down there.

But…f’r sure…NOT today!