Coffee heat rising

More Muggletude

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What was I saying about it never staying hot & muggy in Arizona long enough to make you crazy?

Uh oh! Here come the white coats!

Apparently my marbles had slipped out my ears when I wrote that squib… It is so hot and so gooey out there that it indeed does feel just like Saudi Arabia. I can’t remember the weather here ever being this bad. And it’s only July: normally a hot and dry period. Yes, hot, but because of the dessication, not usually all that uncomfortable. Just now, at 8:25 in the morning, it’s overcast and 98 out there, with 20 percent humidity.

Twenty percent of the air is water? Eeek!  😀

Silliness aside, it really does look strangely grim out there.

***

Waiting for M’hijito to come pick me up. We’re off to the Mayo today, where I expect to be adjudged mentally incompetent, in the not a joke department.

Yes. My son has decided I’m non compos mentis, and he’s been dragging me out there for all sorts of pointless, fruitless, time-wasting meetings.

A day ago, I found myself sitting beside a doctor and being catechized on how to use an appointment calendar.

No joke! They give their brain-dead clients a stupid little calendar with dates, lines to enter reminders, and little squares to check off things you’ve somehow, miraculously remembered to do. This woman sat me down and guided me through every step of how to enter an appointment, and how to find an appointment, and how to check it off the list. Seriously. I had sit through a half-hour catechism on how to use a calendar.

I have a calendar in my office that keeps track of all appointments and to-do’s. A whiteboard on my office door that lists the current day’s to-do’s. And another whiteboard in the kitchen that lists things like workmen to call and grocery/household items to buy at the store. Extra reminders for the most urgent tasks appear on a pad on the refrigerator. Sorry: but I don’t think I need a fourth to-do list.

Explaining to her that I do not carry a purse in which to lug her marvelous notebook and that I am not about to start carrying a purse did not make so much as a tiny dent in the woman’s determination.

Jayzus! What a bore, and what a waste of time.

Today we go to a weekly time-wasting group where we sit there for an hour listening to brain-withered oldsters natter on about how they forgot where they put their shoes!

No joke. That is exactly what we heard in the last meeting.

What makes this even more annoying is that the Mayo is almost an hour’s drive from here. So the round trip blows away well over 90 minutes on the road…almost two hours wasted for the privilege of wasting an hour on the Mayo’s campus.

I’m finding this very frustrating.

Crabbiness Update

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Okay. okay….. Yes, I did finally get through first edits of the client’s book manuscript — the project I was trying to focus on whilst being forced to sit through three hours of whinging by marble-short old folks at the Mayo Clinic.

Sent that off to him last night. But…hmmmm…. Yeah: BUT… If he goes through with his plan to self-publish the thing, IMHO he needs to hire a graphic designer. I can edit copy, but a page designer, i are not!

And the truth is, it’s a very interesting book. I think he should run it past a few mainline and academic publishers before he tries to self-publish it. Yea verily…  I may ask my editor at Columbia if they’d take a look at the thing.

Well…let’s see how he responds to the pile of edits I just dumped over his head, pore fella. If he copes, then I’ll suggest we write a proposal and fling it at a few book publishers.

***

Hotter than the Hubs of Hades here today — as it has been for the past two or three weeks. Today it’s more humid and sticky than I can ever remember in Arizona.

The pooch and I shot out the door as dawn cracked, hoping to grab a doggy-walk before the park got too crowded (it being Saturday, all the dog-walkers are out in force) and then get back before it got too hot.

FAIL!

Holeee doggerel, it feels like Saudi Arabia out there.  Hot as Hell, and so wet you can hardly inhale the heavy air.

Okay, okay: I will say, it’s not as hot as Rasty Nasty. Noooo, not even as hot as you could expect it to get here as the day wears on. But the thick air made it feel mighty uncomfortable out there.

My favorite neighbor bought herself a place in Prescott as a summer escape. And I must say: that idea looks better and better to me.

Don’t know whether she bought a house, or whether it’s an apartment. To my mind, the Big Drawback is that I don’t wanna have to take care of another piece of property. One house, two yards, and one pool are quite enough, thankee. Even an apartment still has to be kept clean and safely maintained. Ugh: more work, more $$$.

And y’know…it snows in Prescott. I really don’t like driving on icy roads. And given a choice between freezing in the winter and melting in the summer, I think I’ll take the annual melt-down.

Hey. Rasty Nasty used to get so humid during the summer that when you woke up in the morning, you’d see water dripping off the eaves as though it had just rained. Nope: no clouds.

In fact, one day it did get so humid there that, as I was playing in the front yard, rain started to pour down on me out of a clear blue sky.

What a horrible place….

One thing you can say about Arizona: even though it can get miserable, it never STAYS miserable long enough for you to learn to hate the place. Most evenings — probably 90% of them — cool down to a more-than-tolerable temp.

THIS Is Life in the 21st Century?

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Holeeee shee-ut! I have been left SO FAR BEHIND in our fine 21st-century culture that I can’t even speak to today’s fine moderns.

Today, I sat in a Mayo Clinic doctor’s office while she explained to me, in words of one syllable, how to use a paper calendar!

No joke. Apparently their clients have become so accustomed to using electronic devices to track time and appointments that they no longer know HOW to use hard copy!

Understand: I’m an old lady. I’ve used paper calendars for the past SEVENTY YEARS. I do not need to be instructed in the use of a hard-copy calendar formatted as a booklet that you can carry in your purse.

So…I was just astonished when she launched into an explanation of how to use a paper pocket calendar to keep track of the current ailment. Incredibly, she assumed that I would not know how to use it.

It was a tiny sliver in the woodwork of a nightmare day. By the time we left, my son (who drove me out there) was not speaking to me. We made the entire hour-plus trip home in silence. That was jolly.

Clearly, I’ve outstayed my time on this planet. When the time finally comes to exit, stage left, I will not regret it. Of that, you may be sure.

Don’t get all panicked, please. I’m not ready to jump off the North Rim. Yet…

But consider: it’s true, we are living in a dystopic culture. It makes Brave New World look tame. All you’ve gotta do is look at the news of the day to know that. But…just passing day by day on the ground in America also will go a long way toward convincing you of it.

Soggy Doggy Day

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Just back from a morning doggy-walk, waiting for the water to heat up enough to make coffee. Wunderground says it’s 93 degrees out there; 15% humidity; expected high: 113.

Wouldn’tcha know it: M’hijito and I have to traipse to the FAR SIDE of north Scottsdale to go to another brain-numbing, BOOOORING get-together of the mentally challenged. Since everyone but me has decided that I’m now non compos mentis, I have to drag out there and listen to these people go on about how they forgot to pull up their underwear or forgot to eat their breakfast…on and on and endlessly on.

What an agonizing waste of time. Two hours trudging back and forth, and then a good three hours listening to old buzzards tell us what they forgot. Forgodsake. I know, already, that I forget things!

  • I know, already, that it’s normal for old people to forget stuff that they never would have spaced ten years ago.
  • I know, already, that there’s precious little anyone can do about it.
  • I know, already, to keep lists of upcoming appointments and to-do’s.
  • I know, already, to make notes on important tasks and meetings and events.
  • I KNOW, ALREADY, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!

And I do NOT need to kill five hours traipsing back and forth to listen to a bunch of old folks complain about being old. That’s five hours of time I need to spend on a client’s current book project.

Well, speaking of killing time: I’d better quit bellyaching and fix some food and coffee, so as to be fortified before the kid gets here. Ugh!

This is gonna be a bi!ch of a day!

112 degrees and…and…

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FOGGY?????

Great Galloping Gods! No kidding: it’s 112 in the shade of the back porch, and lurking to north of us is a low cloud bank that looks for all the world like fog.

W?

T?

F?

Just got back from galloping around town in the heat. Dropped by the mechanic’s to describe the car’s latest eccentricity. She (yep: she ) wasn’t unduly concerned. She described what to watch for. Explained if and when to come back.

Over to Sprouts. Of COURSE they didn’t have what I wanted.

Through the heat to the Albertson’s. If the air is 112, what is the temperature of a parking lot’s asphalt?

Wunderground says the ambient air is 114º; predicted low tonight: 92º. Balmy.

This would not be an out-of-the-ordinary summer temperature…except…the real problem is, it’s humid out there. Hence: the fog-like stuff. It feels like effing Saudi Arabia.

How on earth my harbor-pilot father managed to work 8-hour shifts on those docks just mystifies me. How did ANY of those guys survive?

Frazzling up some chicken and some French fries on the grill. Hope the damn thing cools off enough to throw the plastic cover over it before that storm comes rolling in.

Must feed dog, so she’ll be wrung out (with any luck) before said storm comes rolling in.

 

Hot Day, Hot Stove, Hot Dog….

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Out the door at the crack of dawn: get Ruby her shot at a doggy-walk before it gets seriously hot.

Not much chance of that, though. At 6:30 this morning, it was muggy as an Alabama day:  27% humidity a “dry heat” does NOT make. And it’s supposed to hit 117 today.

By that hour, the crazy-making Dog Parade was well under way. Everybody who has a dog AND a job shoots outdoors at dawn in an effort to get their pooch walked before they have to go to work. So the park and its surrounding sidewalks are mobbed by dogs and their dog-loving humans…and many of the latter are — dare we say it? — just not very smart.

They can’t seem to get the concept that dogs are not kids. Dogs do not think like children, because dogs are NOT children, because dogs are a different freakin’ species. I can’t count the number of idiots who could not grasp the idea that Anna the German Shepherd did NOT “just wanna pwayyyy” with their pooch. What she “just wanted” to do was remove their dog’s idiot head. After that, she probably would have mopped up the mess with the idiot human’s remains.

So…I do try to evade the mobs of dog-infested humanity that swarm through the neighborhood in the hour or two before work starts. Evade: often without much luck.

Today was OK enough in that department, probably because it truly is hotter than the Hubs out there. Wish I lived in SDXB’s former neighborhood. The houses are no better than mine, and the noise level couldn’t possibly be any better. But the entire area is mid- to upper-middle class, making it at least feel a little safer for walking around.

Nevertheless…

Our ‘Hood is bordered on the north by a dangerous slum, and anchored on the west by a decrepit apartment-house development that was nice when it opened, graced by a lovely golf course, but that declined rapidly. Now that area is just plain crummy, full of low-end types. Not so long ago, a cop was shot as he knocked on a door in one of those dumps. The golf course, once a point of pride, has gone to rack & ruin. The school over there…ugh! A few weeks ago, kids going to that school were greeted by a dead body — a murder victim — laying on the sidewalk outside the campus’s entrance.

My son has asked me not to sell this house, because…he wants to inherit it.

While it is newer and better constructed (in some ways) than his place, and it does have a pool (which you, too, can take care of 12 months a year so  that you can swim during three months), it does have some serious disadvantages compared to his place.

One is the proximity to Sunnyslope — said dangerous slum. Where my son lives, he can sit in his living room or front-of-the-house office with his front door hanging wide open. No need for a steel security screen; no need for a hardened heavy-duty deadbolt lock. I wouldn’t leave a door open without a locked security screen here, not on a bet! And no, there’s no chance in Hell I’d leave a window open.

So…because I don’t quack about that fact all the time, it’s unclear that he understands how risky this area is.

***

In other sylvan fields: Checking out the market for pr0pane stoves.  Our honored civic leaders want to force Maricopa County residents to replace gas stoves with electric models. To that end, they’re jacking up the cost of natural gas…through the stratosphere.

I probably can afford it…but highly resent it. The main reason is that I like to eat (well!!) and I like to cook. And an electric stove decidedly does NOT make it in the “like to cook” department.

You can get a propane grill with one (count it, one) cooking hob, but they’re not very efficient. It’s hard to regulate the heat on one of those things. And yes, ONE is the operative word. If you really cook, you normally will have a couple of burners in play when you’re making a decent meal.

On the ranch, we had a propane stove. The burners and the oven ran on propane. Come to think of it…I think the fridge was powered by propane, too. WhatEVER: the stove worked just like a natural gas stove. If you had that installed, none of our nosey city parents would have a clue that you weren’t running your whole kitchen on gas.

My house has a countertop stove with four gas burners. The oven is not part of it: that thing is built-in to a set of cabinetry. And it is electric.

I hardly ever use the oven, though: most of the time it serves as a storage cabinet.

So…hmmmm… I’m thinking now is the time to look in to the availability of propane stovetops here in the (un)Lovely Valley of the sun. Turns out even Home Depot has the things…and the price is reasonable. In fact, it looks like most, if not all of these things will run on propane. That suggests that maybe my beloved existing gas stovetop will run on propane, too.

So then the question would be…how do I get propane installed, and by whom? And how the hell much is THAT gonna cost?

Apparently a gas stove can be converted to use propane. It looks like a hassle — possibly an expensive hassle. May be cheaper and smarter to just replace the stove I’ve got with a propane model.

Now is the time to look into that, I’m afraid. Because you know what’s gonna happen, right? The instant the county forces this change, EVERYBODY AND THEIR LITTLE BROTHER is gonna be hiring workmen to convert their gas stovetops to propane. And that will mean a huge traffic jam…and a wait of Gawd Only Know how long before you can get your stove working again.

Never a dull moment, eh?