Coffee heat rising

Whatever can go wrong…

STOP THE WORLD! I wanna get off, and get back on in about 1947.

Holy mackerel! Whatever CAN go wrong WILL go wrong. Whoever made up that hoary saying must have been living my life in a previous incarnation.

Greeted the sun this morning by finding a hard thing in my mouth. Whaaaaa???

It’s part of a tooth. A back molar simply fell apart.

So now in half an hour, when the dentist’s office opens, I’ll have to call and make an appointment to get THAT fixed, no doubt to the tune of a great deal MORE hassle, expense, and painandsuffering.

Meanwhile, I’m supposed to spend the afternoon at the church office, staffing the front desk. How I’m gonna do that and sit in a dentist’s chair at the same time escapes me. But we’ll deal with that when the need arises. I guess.

At 9 a.m. — less than half an hour — I need to surface at Leslie’s Pool Supply, therein to get them to test the water and sell me the chemicals needed to rebalance the chemicals.

Pool Dude was here yesterday — while I was traipsing from pillar to post around the Valley — Dermatologist in Avondale, then hours at the downtown credit union, then up the moribund Target on 19th Avenue, therein to buy some area rugs so that my son’s dog can walk around on the tiles without falling over (he’s old and weak and his feet slide out from under him when he tries to walk on tiles — and my whole house is tiled).

The Target folks insist they’re just remodeling, even though it’s hilariously obvious that they’re selling off merchandise with intent to close down the store. If they admitted that the location is going out of business, of course, they’d have to clear out the junk with a sale. As it was, I realized that Charley does not need fancy rugs; all he needs is the rubbery stuff you lay down underneath them, which give him plenty of traction to move around. Poor old pooch.

Dermatologist removed more suspicious growths. Reported that none of the last crop had turned to cancer. Yet. I remarked on my one-time best friend’s brother-in-law, a healthy and athletic man who, I recently learned, died of skin cancer — malignant melanoma.

More than one of which I’ve enjoyed meself.

At the credit union, I explained to the extremely nifty dude that I can’t get into my account. We dorked around and dorked around, changing my password. As it develops, these days to change a bank password you have to have a cell phone!

Fortunately, I’d brought the useless iPhone my son gave me — useless because with the plague, the senior center nearby shut down its iPhone class, because Apple’s “class” was a sadistic joke (more so for the alleged instructor than for the customers), because I do not know how to get into it, because…on and on. We were able to fire it up and use it to reset the bank’s password. Now all we have to do is get me into my account there.

With one headache and crisis after another since then, though, I haven’t had time to attempt that trick.

This morning will be consumed with dealing with the swimming pool. When I left for the dermatologist trek — before Pool Dude surfaced — the walls were festooned with fresh algae. I left a check in an envelope for him and flew out the door.

When I got home, I found the empty envelope on the pavement near the pool and the pool’s walls festooned with fresh algae.

Tested water…chemical balance seemed OK — good enough for gummint work, anyway. But decided I should take a bottle of it up to Leslie’s for a full array of tests, and while there try to snab some granulated chlorine.

The chlorine shortage continues — kicked off by a fire that leveled the factory of the major US producer, a year or so ago, and dragged out by political correctness (chlorine being bad for you, after all). So I’m going to have to pay through the wazoo to re-fill my pool supply kit…I’m down to something like two three-inch tabs. Eventually I’ll probably have to re-plumb and install one of those salt-water systems, which will cost an arm and a leg. As I recall, it didn’t do that great a job on La Maya and La Bethulia’s pool. But…I guess if we can’t buy chlorine anymore, we’ll have to take what we can get.

Come four o’clock this morning, good old Cox’s phones were down. Come five o’clock: same. Come six o’clock: same. It finally came back online. Fortunately, I’ve learned to use the iPhone just enough to get into my email and to also onto the Web to check what time Leslie’s opens.

Speaking of the which, it’s ten till. Sooo…off and running!

Round and Round We Go….

Welp, by this morning it was beginning to look like Funny (and all that which is related to her) was flat outta luck. The blogsite’s “dashboard” would NOT take my password, and it would not let me change the password.

Finally had recourse to Grayson, the Web Guru Extraordinaire. He created a new password…TWENTY-FIVE CHARACTERS LONG, all utter gobbledygook. No chance in Hell of a bad guy or gal  memorizing it.

Ahem…not too likely that the computer’s operator can memorize it, either! 😀 Helle’s Belles, I can barely remember my own name these days.

Meanwhile, yesterday in comes a notice from the gas company…

They’re going to CUT OFF MY GAS because they think they haven’t been paid!

HUH??????

All of the utilities are set up to auto-pay down at the credit union. This has been so for several YEARS! Howcum all of a sudden the gas company isn’t getting paid, and WHAT OTHER REGULARLY RECURRING BILLS AREN’T GETTING PAID???????

God DAYUM it!!!!!

So tomorrow I’ll have to call the gas company and see if I can talk them into charging my AMEX card — thereby, as you once suggested, piling up credits toward this, that, and the other reward scheme.

Then I will have to get into the goddamn car and burn ANOTHER quarter tank of $4.89/gallon gasoline to traipse to the CU and find out WTF they’ve done and why they canceled the goddamn auto-pay. And what other auto-pays they’ve canceled. On further inspection, it looks like quite a few of the auto-pays are no longer autopaying.

WHY??? This is not something I would have willingly shut down.

As you know, trying to unearth a human at each of the utility companies will take HOURS. The phone runarounds, at least in our parts, defy belief. By the time I get a person on the phone, I’m so frustrated and angry that I could bite someone! So THAT is a procedure I do not look forward to. IN fact, I wonder if it’s possible to go in person to some of these outfits.

Despite my concern about the Mac outfit in Scottsdale (and the none-too-great experience I had with the same company’s far, far FAR west-side office), the guy we talked with there turned out to be just stellar. He has the MacBook running — albeit, not in the style I would prefer (I loathe, for example, page changes that slither by like slides in a slide projector!) — thereby giving me at least a little time to get my act (such as it is) together. I really liked the guy, and you may be sure that if I have to buy a new computer, it’s coming from his place.

Man…in addition to the CompuFrolics and charging from pillar to post around the Valley, on the way home yesterday evening…some poor wretch had somehow FLOWN off the main north-south drag to the east of the hood — apparently he literally went airborne — and sailed into a power pole. Upshot was he ELECTRIFIED a good three blocks of North 7th Avenue. Had a woman in the car with him. You never saw so many cops and firemen in your life.

They shut down 7th, which is one of the main, MOST major surface streets leading out of downtown and mid-town Phoenix toward the northern and western suburbs.

****

Mercifully, neither the driver nor his passenger was injured seriously. Before the troops got themselves into position, I managed to slither past and could see the whole shebang. And we do mean “bang”…it”s amazing that they both weren’t killed

Power stayed on over in this section of the ’Hood, but apparently it was down for a large part of the area

Got a little worried when I couldn’t find my fave neighbors, the WonderAccountants…she works at home, but he goes into an office. Hope he didn’t have to drive around Robin Hood’s Barn to get home

Man, that little wrecky-poo was something to see, when you reflect upon it. The perps were in a standard-sized pickup truck, about the size of a Ford 150. Along that stretch of Main Drag East, there’s an access road, which is separated from the main thoroughfare with a narrow planter delineated by concrete curbs.That’s a 40 mph zone there, so if our hero was keeping up with the traffic, he was going around 45 to 50.

He hits the curb, and hevvin help us, he goes airborne. Now he’s behind the wheel of a flying machine that’s about 15 to 20 feet off the ground, all four wheels

He slams into the metal light pole — this is a large, standard city thoroughfare’s lamp post, about three or four feet in diameter  and very tall. And he hits it between a third and half-way up.

No kidding!

Incredibly, the truck hits the pole so the shaft impacts the front end almost exactly halfway between the headlights, where it digs a hole in the truck’s engine compartment

The power lines go down, electrifying a substantial part of the nearby acreage. But incredibly, neither the driver nor his female passenger were seriously injured

Says something for airbags and seatbelts, eh?

*****

Dontcha love it that the New Improved Mac won’t let me format this thing’s font for copy drafted in Word to fit the style used by WordPress?

*****

Oh, wait! Here’s a password for the credit union, taped to the front of the MacBook! there are now so many effing p/w’s taped to the computer, I can’t track of them!   Lemme see if this will get me in!

Nope. Doesn’t work.

Just what I need. Another 40 minutes of traipsing through homicidal traffic, another hassle with the CU’s mystified staff, another raft of incomprehensible password hoopjumps….

STOP THE WORLD I WANNA GET OFF!

Still online…

…for the nonce. Funny has not crashed in flames yet, but it remains to be seen how long we’ll be able to stay aloft.

Over at Best Buy this afternoon, the gurus did their best to fix things. We seem to be online just now, but why, how, and for how long, I do not know. It looks, however, like the problem is with the little MacBook laptop, not with WordPress and not with…much of anything else. This, I’m writing on the big, aged iMac.

The BB dudes recommended that I schlep out to the Apple store, halfway to Yuma, and try to identify the problem with the MacBook.

That was a long, expensive exercise in futility. Consumed a quarter of a tank of gasoline — at almost 5 bucks a gallon hereabouts — and soaked up a good two hours of time. Those people over there had exactly zero clue, nor did they evince the slightest interest in trying to figure it out.

I left, annoyed…as I so often leave the Apple store.

So that’s it with Apple, folks. The plan now is to replace the MacBook with a new PC, hire someone to transfer data from the iMac into the PC, and slowly, gently convert the Blogging Empire and its tools to the PC world.

It’s been awhile since I’ve worked with PC’s — although I did have to use them when I was adjunct at the community college district, so that skill is not completely lost to time.

This subplot, though, was only part of an endless day’s adventures.

Started out at the doctor’s office, hardly my favorite venue. But it was Young Dr. Kildare’s place, so at least the scenery was appealing. As usual, my blood pressure was through the roof — I hate hate HATE being in doctor’s offices and clinical settings, a sentiment that invariably jacks up the BP a good 10 to 15 points. This was not helped by the fact that they’d asked me to show up at 8:00 a.m., at which point the staff informed me that my appointment was actually at 8:30…meaning a half-hour of thumb-twiddling before the show got on the road. So now I have to jump through all those same damn hoops again to prove to him that in real life I don’t exhibit hypertension.

Tomorrow I’ll go back down to Best Buy, buy a new PC-type computer, and try to talk them into sending someone over to the Funny Farm to set up the transfer of data from the iMac and iCloud into the new device.

Also learned that BB has iPhone training sessions. If this is true, there may still be some hope of learning how to use the gadget my son gave me. Apple’s “class” was a joke and another infuriating waste of time. I’d like to be able to use the kewl phone…but must say, I feel just about zero confidence in Apple and Apple devices just now. The present fiasco with the computers has been going on for weeks. And now I can’t remember my password for the damn credit union. I’ll have to pay the bills by snail-mail until I can go downtown — not till Monday — and get someone to help untangle that mess.

I actually WAS out there this morning but didn’t realize the password had passed out of existence in my brain.

LOL! Frankly, these recent experiences — over the past few weeks — suggest that it would be best to stay with Apple than to jump off the bridge into the murky waters of the PC. Over the phone, I’ve talked with several really excellent Apple techs. They haven’t quite saved my bacon…but at least the pork isn’t blackened. And it does have to be said that BB has a new Mac on offer that is to die for.

Probably Kaput this time…

Jeeemneeee, what a day!!!!

Found this little scrap on Funny’s dashboard, so am adding a scribble. Nooooo idea whether it will post, and if so, why. I’m officially locked out of all my sites, because every secret code I’ve been able to unearth just doesn’t work. Same for any passwords, magical mystery phrases, and miscellaneous bullsh!t Firefox and its various websites “remember.”

Took the laptop over to Best Buy to try to get it online. Spectacular mess. It’s now effectively dead.

Meanwhile, the desktop was online while that antic was underway, so SOME of the sites that it remembers are marginally functional. I think it remembers Funny’s dashboard because that was open in Firefox at the time the Macbook was going down, and it has somehow stayed up.

On the MacBook, I’m now locked out of Macmail, of Gmail, of Firefox, of every other goddamn thing I can think of, largely because the the sites themselves remember the 87 gerjillion passwords that I can’t even faintly begin to recall. Some of these sites have locked me out on the big desktop iMac, too.

Forgodsake, I can’t even remember my freakin’ name, much less scores and scores and scores of goddamn passwords.

No joke!

Literally, I can walk into the kitchen and think I need thus-and-such a pan and not be able to remember where it’s stored. It’s stored in the same place where it’s been stored for the past 20 years that i’ve lived here!!!!!!!! But for the life of me, I can NOT conjure up where that might be.

Mind you: this is after I realized what was going on and created lists and maps of where things are stored in the kitchen, and taped those to the inside of the hall closet door!!  I STILL can’t find stuff.

So it’s not surprising that I can’t remember 87 gerjillion different passwords.

Consequently, it appears that my Internet-gallivanting adventures are about at an end.

If you’re innarested in whatever screwball things come this way in the future, maybe we can keep in touch on Facebook. I’m billed as Victoria Hay in that weird garden spot. Not real gifted with the way FB works…but if I’m not distracted with blogsites, maybe I’ll get more skilled at it over time.

🙁 sigh 🙁

Mac-a-Scam

Wow!  A week or so ago I posted about a phishing letter posing as a message from McAfee, maker of a widely used antivirus program.

Turns out this is a MAJOR gambit. Watch out! If some nitwit emails you to the effect that you must hurry and cancel if you don’t want to be charged for McAfee coverage, FLEE.

Do not respond to these earnest appeals. Report the ba*stards directly to the FTC.

And if you are a witchy bitch, as Funny happens to be, light a fire in the backyard and lay a thousand curses on heads of this scam’s originator and those of all his imitators.

STOP THE WORLD!

You betcha I wanna get off!

We’re now into the lunch hour, so I can’t go to the credit union and harass them with the latest screaming crazy-making fiascos. What to do, what to do to fend off losing what few marbles remain to me while waiting to drive across the effin’ city to pester those dear people?

Oh! I know! Write a blog post! O’course! Why didn’t I think of that?

Call up Funny on the big iMac and…and…and…oh yeah. You expected a bear? It wants a password. I enter the one I know. WordPress replies f**k you.

So now I have to jump through yet another series of hoops to generate yet another EFFING password.

You understand: I have a list of passwords that is TWENTY-THREE PAGES LONG! And these days, I can barely remember my name, much less 23 single-spaced pages of passwords.

Problem is, the li’l Macbook DID remember each of the passwords in those 23 pages. So I don’t have a hard-copy list of the effing things. Right now I have a bunch of them, typed and neatly cut out of their sheets of paper, taped to the front of the iMac.

The prospect of getting a new computer to emanate these dozens and dozens and dozens of passwords just makes my brain go blank. I can’t even bear to contemplate the hassle involved!

I need to go over to Best Buy today and extract my MacBook and probably buy a Lenovo laptop. Ugh…how can express the ways I don’t wanna???

But FIRST… oh, yes, first I have to drive ten miles (20, round trip) in the OTHER direction to raid the credit union. It appears that a whole bunch of monthly bills that I thought were being autopaid are no longer being autopaid.

Huh?

Why?

Did I cancel the autopays somewhere along the line?

Why?

Truth to tell, now that I can no longer remember my own name, it’s entirely possible that I did cancel the autopays to the utility companies, probably for good reason. But if there was a reason, I don’t recall what it was, any more than I can remember having canceled them.

What’s my name, again?

So this is going to be a jolly trip.

The credit union staff apparently noticed, the last time some of my marbles rolled past the front desk. When I paid the new yard man $180 for a major cleanup job (the good Gerardo not having shown up for three months…), he trotted over to that very CU and asked to cash it. The boss CALLED ME ON THE PHONE and asked did I really wanna pay this character a hundred and eighty bucks?

Yeah. No kidding. He’s a nice-looking, clean-cut man…not the sort you would suspect of larceny. 😀

Y’know…I’m truly all computer-teched out. GODLMIGHTY but I’m tired of this hassle and that hassle and the next hassle, most of them involving passwords that I haven’t a hope of remembering and all of them demanding involved tergiversations to navigate.

You understand, I’m not at all annoyed about the CU calling to check on just how loony I was to pay New Yard Dude a large chunk of dough. In fact… One thing that would help to keep the Old Bat out of one of those warehouses for old folks would be someone you could hire to ride herd on what you’re getting up to. Especially what you’re doing financially, what you’re getting talked into buying, what you’re forgetting to pay. I actually would pay somebody — cheerfully — to help out with this stuff and advise. An honest somebody, that is…therein lies the rub…

Oh well. Time to get on the road. And so, awaaayyyyyyyy….