Coffee heat rising

funny

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And QUADRUPLE-ARRRRRRGHHH!

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So some long-time workmen who are pretty reliable fellas show up. They’re puttering around…and somehow….

SOMEHOW…

…they get ahold of my front door keys and they fuck them up with élan!!!!!!!

My GAWD!

None of the keys works any of the locks or none of the locks or whateverthehell…WHAT A MESS!!!!!!!!

HOW THE HELL DID THEY DO THAT???

GODDDAMMMMIT!!!!!!!

Now I’m gonna have to call the locksmith AGAIN to come over here and untangle all the goddamn locks.

This guy charges an arm and a leg just to breathe the air inside your house, to say nothing of doing any work. So this is gonna be another $200 bill. Then I’ll have to listen to my son bitch at me for spending all that money on the goddamn locks.

Again. 

Y’know, when I had the first locksmith over (they all work for the same outfit), I asked him to fix ALL THE LOCKS so they work on the same key. So: this would make it hard for me to confuse the keys and fu*k everything up.

Now, NO TWO LOCKS work on the same key. Set one key aside and you are FUCKED until you can dig it up from wherever the Hell you put it down.,

And wherever that is will likely be pretty random, meaning it will be hours or maybe days before you find that key, if you ever do.

STOP THE GODDAMN WORLD!!!”
I WANNA GET OFF!!!!!!!!!

Arrrrghhhh!!!!!

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Puhleeeezzze, li’l computer! Let me enter ONE (1) new post without another disaster!

Just got sat down to wrestle with this thing, when BING -BONGGGGGG!!

Yard dude at the front door.

I’m so harried with the damn computer that i don’t remember why I called him!!!!!

Nor, in the course of yakking with him, does it come to me.

Well….you can be sure it WILL come to me…along about two or three hours from now.

And what will it BE?

You can be damn sure it will be something that affects the entire system and probably chokes the water off to every plant on the property.

STOP THE WORLD!
I WANNA GET OFF!!!

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Back home right at 7:30 a.m. from a dog-and-human walk around the neighborhood: circumnavigating the park, roaming through the ritzy-titzy part of the ‘Hood, trotting past a major grocery store, past a 24-hour clinic, past the Sprouts, past the Walgreen’s…and…

..And WHY, again, have I been driving my car from the smallest pillar to the tallest post — with its pricey licenses and its expensive regular maintenance and its $3.48/gallon gasoline???

When my parents and I came back from our ten-year stint in Saudi Arabia, we took up residence in San Francisco, in a Fancy-Dan apartment development called Parkmerced. I dearly loved that place, and if I had the money (hah!!) would go back in an instant. It was a handsome place, and it was designed for residents to get around on foot. I rode the bus to school(!!!), and my mother and I rode busses and streetcars into downtown SF for our (altogether too frequent!) shopping trips.

Later, my father changed jobs and we moved to Southern California — to dowdy Long Beach, where I had been born and not far from where my father’s ships came in to dock. Unlike the Bay Area, southern California was not designed for pedestrians. My Northern California relatives didn’t even own a car. In Long Beach, you couldn’t begin to get by without one.

Remembering our walks around Parkmerced; and that walking was not practical in SoCal…probably because the place was not designed for pedestrians, as San Francisco was. Neither Gree nor Gertrude — my great-grandmother and great-aunt in Berkeley ever owned a car.

Just imagine having access to your job, to one of the world’s most magnificent cities, and to all the shopping you liked (and then some) without a car!

Well. I wonder if one could engineer something long those lines here in (un)lovely uptown Phoenix. Seriously…with a guy driving for Uber across the street, a light-rail train and a fleet of busses running up and down the main drags…why do I need to own a car at all?

Could I get rid of the Tank? That seems all the more feasible with a car rental place some three blocks up the road from my house. If something comes up that I really need a car for some episode, all I’d need to do is walk up the road and rent one.

I may give the Tank to Ian…let him pay the insurance and taxes and maintenance on the damn thing!

It is a nice enough vehicle, and it came in handy when one of its riders was a German shepherd. But a 35-pound corgi does not need a gasoline-powered covered wagon!

And to pay for an occasional taxicab surely isn’t going to cost what a van with its attendant taxes, maintenance and repair bills and gasoline bills costs.

How would I get the dog to the vet? M’hijito would have to drive us.

************
Arrrgha! I’m gunna have to crash out of this post. Can’t get it to do anything and do not know if it will survive. My apologies for the weirdness!!!!!

 

Woof!

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Good freakin’ morning, America!

Five-thirty in the freakin’ morning, and the dawg just rousted me out of the sack, barfing.

Actually, I’m not sure she actually woofed up. Got her outside before she threw up, and she then seemed sorta OK. Then I stumbled inside. She just roamed back in and appears not to be barfing.

Not right this minute, anyhow.

Something outside is whining. What, I can’t tell. Apparently not one of the wind turbines on the roof…but I can’t echolocate on it. Is it off in the distance, or…what?

BASHED THE HELL out of my foot on the screen door, dammit! Injury’s not that bad, but it appears to be on top of an older, yet-to-heal injury.

Never a damn dull moment, eh?

Welp…today is supposed to hit 109 degrees, according to Wunderground. Better bandage up the wounded paw and take the dog out before it’s too late.

{sigh} If it’s ever not too late…

WHAT IF…you didn’t need a car?

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What if, here in the Great Newnited States of America, here in the ninth-largest city in the nation, on the tenth day of the seventh month of the 25th year of the 20th century, one discovered that…hang onto your hat…that one really didn’t need a car?

Got that?

Holeee shee-ut. What if a person living in one of the largest cities in the nation, one of the least enlightened and most politically conservative states in the nation, did not need to own a car at all? 

Imagine. 

Imagine what that would do to commerce here… To the automotive industry… To the taxicab and hired ride businesses? To busses and trains?

Welp…it’s beginning to occur to me that just such a thing may be the case. 

The other day, my dear son kiped my car.

Yes. My car is locked in his garage and my garage is empty.

The stupid quarrel at the basis of this fine state of affairs aside, the present predicament — if predicament it is — casts light on a whole series of matters. 

* In a city where it never snows and rarely rains, you can get around…and around and around and around…without a car of your own.

* Many of the neighbors are driving for Uber. Consequently, you can get a car-for-hire to show up at your door in five minutes.

* Now that the city has installed train lines on about half the main drags, a train or a bus shows up at the end of your block about every ten minutes.

* A daily train ride or three costs one HELLUVALOT less than a car sitting in your garage.

* Car insurance in Arizona costs, on average, $2,771 a year (!!!). That’s assuming you haven’t gotten a traffic ticket any time in recent years. Add a zillion bucks to that if you got nabbed indulging in any mischief behind the wheel.

So, my friends, what I’m just about discovering is that here in second quarter of the 21st century, it is entirely possible that one does NOT need a car in lovely ungodly Phoenix.

* It may take you no longer to get from Point A to Point B by train, bus, or cab than it does to trudge through the traffic in your own chariot and then park and unpark the thing.

* When you take into account the cost of insurance, storage space, and vehicle maintenance, it may cost no more to travel by cab, bus, or taxi…and in fact may cost significantly less.

* Yea, verily: every minute that tank of yours is parked in the garage or in front of your house, you’re paying some insurance company for the privilege. And it is eternally at risk of theft and vandalism.

Take a look at that damn thing out in the garage or driveway. Do you REALLY need it????

Corner of Hell and Hades….

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HOOleee keerap!

It was hot when I left the Albertson’s to walk home with a small armful of groceries. My GOD what torture! I hafta tellya…

For sure:  I’ll never buy groceries at that Albertson’s again. As we scribble, it’s 115 in the shade of the back porch. Wunderground says it’s 116.  Out in the middle of an asphalt road, no shelter anywhere to be seen? EASILY 120…very probably more than that

I have never walked through such gawdawful heat…and I grew up in Saudi Arabia, where a 115-degree day was normal.

Today all I wanted was a six-pack of beer and a bottle of white wine. That notwithstanding, the bags weighed more than I wanted to haul through that heat. Asked the clerk if it was OK to borrow a cart and bring it back in the morning.

Well. No. 

So…will I be shopping at Albertson’s again?

Well. No.

Nope. Never again!

A grocery cart typically costs a couple hundred bucks. I can spend that much in a typical trip to a grocery store. Let’s say I make two such trips a month… Today Albertson’s traded $200 for a $400/month loss. For a year’s worth of shopping, that’s $400 x 12, or $4800.

Mighty fancy grocery carts y’got there, Mr. Albertson!