Coffee heat rising

Walk Right In, Sit Right Down…

This morning, for reasons unknown, my feeble little  mind cast itself back over one of the gooniest experiences of my life. And it was an experience we went through because neither my young husband nor I had the nerve or the common sense to utter the word “NO.”

Back in the day, he and I lived in a gentrifying historic neighborhood that occupied a tract of beautiful old houses in central Phoenix. And our house was a beautiful old house: it dated back to the 1930s. We loved the place. To this day I miss it…though I sure am glad I don’t have to take care of it anymore.

So anyway….there we were, soaking up joy in the gorgeous old Encanto neighborhood, when one day this couple showed up at the front door.

They were, it developed, old friends of my husband, from college days. And, in classic hippy-dippy fashion, they had jumped in their car and taken off across the country, to craft the Adventure of a Lifetime. When they arrived in Phoenix, they looked us up, said “hello,” moved right in, and sat right down.

No kidding! They invited themselves in, and the next thing we knew they were unpacking their smelly gear in our family room, there to take possession of the sofa-bed.

They were carrying all sorts of food and crap in their car. This stuff, they hauled into the house and dumped in the family room. Half-spoiled, it stank to high heaven. That didn’t seem to bother them, though.

They hung around for a week or ten days, until I told my young husband to ask them to leave. Even then, it took some doing to shoehorn them out of the house! But eventually they moved their campsite to the downtown YMCA, and (mercifully) that was the last we saw of them.

The room stank for days after they left.

The one good thing that came of their little invasion was that my husband and I learned a good lesson: NEVER let people invite themselves into your home!!!

😀

Lordie! For awhile, I was afraid we would have to buy a new sofa-bed. Eventually we did buy a new mattress…but it wasn’t easy to find one, and it wasn’t something we were budgeted for.

I did learn a raft of lessons from that misadventure, though. Primary among them: I will NEVER allow people to stay in my home again, even if I know them fairly well. 

You just never know what kind of stupid stuff people will get up to. Or how they live their daily lives, what their hygiene is like, and how much nerve they have when it comes to taking advantage of you.

Man! Once stung, twice wary!

A Rasty-Nasty Day

Ugh!  This morning: hot, wet, sticky. Reminiscent of an early-morning summer day in Ras Tanura, Saudi Arabia…where I was (un)fortunate enough to grow up on the shore of the Persian Gulf. What a hole! My father called the camp Rasty Nasty: a sobriquet that neatly describes life there.

And Lordie, I did hate living there! Not because of the Arabs or because of the eye-searing, brain-dulling scenery, but because of the nasty brats who populated the camp’s grade school. Ugh! Those creatures were truly little monsters. If you were “different” in any way, they ganged together and worked to make your life miserable.

And they were very, very good at making an outcast kid’s life miserable! If you were a girl who failed to grasp that the sole purpose of your life, other than spawning children, was to stand in the kitchen and bake cookies, you didn’t belong.

I didn’t  “belong,” with a vengeance. Back in the 1950s, when conventionality was the style of the day, I failed to grasp that I was supposed to grow up to cook and to sew clothes. Noooo…stupid me! I wanted to grow up to become an astronomer.

You know: a person with a Ph.D. and a lifetime career in astrophysics.

No. Bad, bad girl!! Females did NOT go into the sciences.

So growing up in Arabia meant nine years of utter misery for me. GOD, how I hated that place and hated those kids! The feeling was mutual on the brats’ part. What an awful time in an awful place!

Finally, when I was nearing the end of the sixth grade out there, my mother’s best friend — a camp nurse — persuaded her boyfriend — a doctor in the camp hospital — to convince my father that my mother had to be sent home, lest she die from the amoebic dysentery she’d picked up out there.

So. That got me and my mother out of that hell-hole and back to San Francisco, whence we had emanated. And it led me into a decent school where my classmates didn’t know I was the Weird Little Kid. So my life kinda sprang back to almost normal. My mother, after some weeks in a hospital, recovered from the amoebic infestation. And so there we were — at least in much better living conditions — until my father’s current contract ended and he joined us in the City.

From there we proceeded to Southern California, where he shipped out of a port down there. My mother’s dearest friend lived in Long Beach, so she — my mother — and I rented an apartment in that dreary garden spot. After several years there, my father retired and they betook themselves to Sun City, Arizona (talk about dreary!!). By then, thank God, it was time for me to enter college. Instead of sending me to Cal Berkeley, where I’d planned to go, they stuck  me in the University of Arizona.

This parked me in Tucson, the home of the bourgeois and the mediocre. But at least it was a good long way from Sun City! 😮

Rehearsing these events…well…it sure frosts my cookies! Where I had a promising start — a strong likelihood of entering UC Berkeley and then going on to graduate school from there — they got rid of that. Instead I got a bachelor’s degree from a third-rate school, and from there proceeded to marriage and graduate studies in an even lesser school.

What kind of people do that to their kid?

Well. Uneducated people, of course. They hadn’t a clue. I think they really didn’t know there was much difference between universities around the country. And they really didn’t know a Ph.D. from some third-rate school in the middle of the Southwestern desert was not the same as a Ph.D. — or any degree — from a four-year California university. And why should they? Neither of them went to college, and I don’t think my father even graduated from high school. From what I can tell, he ran away from home to go to sea before he finished his senior year.

So…yeah. I guess I managed to steer my life in the right direction. But still…I’m not fond of  being reminded of growing up in Saudi Arabia. And a wet, rasty-nasty day like today does exactly that.

Ugh!

Hotter Than the Hubs…Again!

Or…make that “still.” 

Despite this morning’s mile-long doggy-walk, this afternoon I still craved more exercise. And…I do hafta say: the walking seems to have eased the hip pain. While still present, it’s no longer excruciating…so maybe a few more days of hiking will take care of it, once and for all.

That notwithstanding…dayum! I do hate Arizona!  Especially its brain-banging heat. As we scribble, the thermometer on the back porch registers 110 degrees. 

That’s right: ONE HUNDRED AND TEN DEGREES. In the shade! 

Ugh! What a place! 

As you might imagine, I lasted about 20 minutes out there, before heading back to the (refrigerated!) Funny Farm.

So here we are, loafing in front of the computer. Thank the heavens for iced tea!

😀

Honestly. I could kick my father’s ghost for his having dragged us to this unholy place, after we were reasonably well set in Southern California.

Yes, So Cal is expensive: an attribute he loathed. But California is a big state. It has many balmy corners, and some of them do not bankrupt their residents.

Phoenix is Southern California Redux, only parked inside an oven. You don’t even wanna think about what my power bill is gonna look like this month.

Can’t complain too much, though: most of the winter I can leave the HVAC system off. So, off-season power bills are effectively nil.

***

Jeez. Just got something from Amazon that I didn’t order. Looks like they’re gonna gouge me for that.

Soooo….I guess the Amazon trade is done for. After this: get off the duff and walk to a store to get the doodads and the gunk!  110° or not!

 

“Another Beautiful Day in Arizona”*

It’s a Sea of Cortez day…moisture saturating the atmosphere, making for a swamp-like, Saudi Arabian, horrible morning. Weather is drifting up to (un)lovely Phoenix from Mexico just now…breeding a sticky, icky day.

Dawg and I are freshly(?) back from a swim through that air, as the morning sun hangs over the eastern horizon. This is one of several Arizona phenomena that make me want to brain my father for dragging us here from California.

Well. If he were still alive to brain. 😉

God, I hate this place. If there were a way to get out of here, I’d be soooo long-gone.

But…truth to tell…for me there is no way out. I can’t afford to move. And even if I could, at this age where would I go? Too old to get a job. Not interested in living in a “retirement” community.

Plus my son is here. I’m not about to move away as long as he’s lurking in Arizona. And truth to tell, given that he has a more-than-decent job here, there are not many other places he’s likely to go.

His dad emanated from Colorado, and M’hijito has said that he’d like to repair to those parts. But…in the first place, he’d have to get work there. And the second place, it snows in Colorado. He’s no longer accustomed to snow and ice, and I have exactly zero desire to become accustomed to them!

§ § §

*  “Another beautiful day in Arizona” was the tagline of a locally prominent radio announcer here in Phoenix, back in the day. Every morning he would open his talk-show with “It’s another beautiful day in Arizona. Leave us all enjoy it!”

Way to turn illiteracy into PR, eh?

 

CAN you believe????

Some sumbiche came INTO MY BACK YARD through the side yard and STOLE ALL MY CLOTHESPINS!

Jayzuz! What kind of asshole steals clothespins!??

Now I’ve either got to traipse to the Albertson’s through 110-degree heat or order a new bag of pins from Amazon, at a premium price.

Hmmm….  Amazon will send 60 wooden clothespins for just $6.00. But it still pisseth me off!!! What kind of asshole steals the clothespins off your clothes line?

I swear ta gawd!

What He Knew She Went Through…

As my mother lay shucking off her last hours on her deathbed, I approached and tried to offer some comfort. Angrily — furiously! — my father physically chased me off. He wouldn’t even let me come into her bedroom.

He never was especially empathetic to me. I believe he always saw me as a weird little kid — which I was, to a degree. But not allowing me to be with my mother as she lay dying? Not even after she had said she wanted me there?

WTF? How cruel could a man get?

During all these years that have passed since then, I’ve resented him for chasing me away from her. I’ve thought (as I’d often thought in other circumstances) that he hated me because I was a weird little girl. And because of my eccentricity, he didn’t want me around her.

No kidding: decades have passed, and those decades did nothing to offer any insight to what he might have been feeling.

Recently, though, an insight has snuck into my feeble little mind.

He didn’t want me around her because he didn’t want my last memories of her to be utterly hideous. As they would have been, had I lingered by her bedside until she died.

She didn’t even know I was there, so out-of-it was she. So…what reason (other than to make me miserable) for me to linger by her bedside as she slid into death?

Now, in retrospect, I think he didn’t want me there because he didn’t want me to go through watching her die of a ghastly enteric cancer. The vomiting. The horror. The agony. Dear God!

He wasn’t a real articulate guy. It would have been exceptionally difficult for him to have said that to me outright. But now, after year and year and year have passed, it strikes me: what we were looking at was hideous. Truly hideous: a ghastly death by cancer. The best thing that could have happened to me, during that unholy ordeal, was to have been kept away from it.

And that is what he did.

He stood between me and the worst moments of my mother’s dying. And that, God bless him, was probably the kindest thing he ever did for me.