Coffee heat rising

Things That Go Bump in the Night…

Well. Not “bump” so much as “rustle rustle rustle” or “munch munch munch.” It’s three in the morning — what most of us would call the middle of the freaking night — the hour that my internal alarm clock has, of late, designated as the dawn of a bright new day. The dogs are conkered out, they being vulnerable to no such metabolic failings. I’m laying there thinking about my best friend in junior high school, Sandy.

Sandy. What an eccentric! We were perfectly matched.

Sandy loved horse racing. Every Saturday morning we would meet at my house to watch the races on TV. Yes. In those days, Saturday morning television (at least in San Francisco) went not to the cartoons but to the races. We loved to watch the races.

Sandy’s hero was not Elvis but Eddie Arcaro, probably the greatest thoroughbred jockey who ever mounted a horse. So I’m laying there thinking — what else? — whatever happened to Eddie Arcaro? Naturally, I have to roll out of the sack (why waste time at three in the morning, eh?) and look him up. Now I’m sitting here, reading up on Eddie, when…comes from the roof (attic???) this weird little sound. At first I think it’s a light rain: could be tapping on the skylights. A sprinkle hitting the glassoid?

But it’s not quite like rain. It doesn’t sound like Ratty dancing across the attic beams. Quite. WTF? Scritch scritch scritch scritch… Something digging in the leaves that have blown onto the roof in the summer’s winds? Something gnawing on the drywall?

The skylights appear to be dry, but it’s hard to tell, because of course it’s mighty dark outside.

I get up and go look out the back door. The motion-sensitive lights have not come on. I can’t see a thing out there.

Open the door and hear rassle rassle rassle! The sound of something running away? I don’t hear anything more. I don’t see anything. And I sure as hell ain’t goin’ out there.

Probably Ratty, I figure. Though it could be a racoon. But I doubt if a raccoon would bother with climbing on the roof. Ratty can scamper up a block wall as easily as she can stroll across a field of grass. Yeah: almost certainly Ratty…

Or was it?

A couple hours pass. The dogs arise and demand a doggy walk. Along about 6:15 we get back, and eventually we wander out to police the backyard. Having performed the morning pool inspection, I amble back and find…

Ruby TRANSFIXED!

Did you know that a corgi can go on point?

Who’d’ve thunk it? That dog was pointing like a fine little vizsla…into the rocks filling a drainage ditch off the patio.

WTF?

So I approach cautiously (rattlesnake? wh-a-a?). She doesn’t budge. Literally: she does not wriggle, so fixed is she on whatever the target is.

From beneath the stones, we can hear the same sound: Scritch scritch scritch scritch….

What the heck? Whatever it is, it ain’t a raccoon and it ain’t Ratty!

I call Cassie, who’s smarter than either of us. She’s not the slightest bit interested.

I try lifting some of the stones, never having heard of a rattlesnake that could go scritch scritch scritch scritch.

This isn’t exactly a ditch: it’s actually a French well. So it’s several feet deep, and it holds a LOT of river rock. Under the first layer of rock, I find…nothing. Eventually the scritching stops.

Was the 3 a.m. scritcher inside the house? I doubt it. But…how could it scritch loudly enough to be heard through the roofing, through the attic insulation, through attic flooring, through the ceiling’s drywall? In both cases, the sound was rather soft. The volume seemed about the same. And in the wee hours, it distinctly sounded like it was on the roof or on a skylight.

The mystery has yet to be solved.

Hmh. Wonder if I could train this little dog to hunt Mearn’s quail? It appears they have, on occasion, been used as bird dogs. Innaresting.

Today’s header image: Preakness Stakes. By Maryland GovPics – Flickr: 139th Preakness Stakes, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=32879764

Top 5 Reasons to Open a Bitcoin IRA

If you want to have a diverse retirement portfolio, which means a strong retirement portfolio, then you should consider all types of investment classes. Since 2014, it has been officially allowed to open a bitcoin IRA. While this is still a relatively new concept, it is one that has gained a lot of interest and attention from the media and financial experts alike. Deciding to invest in any type of asset class requires careful consideration on your part comma but it seems that most agree that adding at least some cryptocurrencies to your holding is a good idea. Let’s take a look at the top five reasons why you may want to consider a bitcoin retirement fund.

5 Reasons to Open a Bitcoin IRA

  1. Bitcoin and ethereum in particular offer a really safe haven against economic turmoil, not unlike that offered by precious metals. When a geopolitical, financial, or economic crisis hits, precious metals like gold offer a safe haven because there is a fixed quantity of them. Cryptocurrencies are the same, as they have been created in a finite amount. It is perhaps no surprise, therefore, that with increases in tensions around the world, and global governments printing more money, that people are turning towards cryptocurrencies instead.
  2. There are limited supply of cryptocurrencies, yet demand is growing. That is the economic formula for a price rise over time. The Bitcoin system is such that there will never be more than 21 million bitcoins around come up with around 17 million of those already having been found. What this means is that bitcoin is effectively even rarer than gold and, by 2140, no new bitcoin will ever be found again. The other main cryptocurrency, ethereum, is also limited in its production.
  3. A good retirement portfolio is a diverse portfolio, and cryptocurrencies offer you a fantastic diversification option. Most people still focus mainly on stocks and bonds but these are perhaps as volatile as alternative assets. The more secure stocks and bonds may not be as volatile but they are yield is also much smaller. Hence, adding at least some cryptocurrency is certainly a good idea.
  4. The dollar, which is a printed money, is declining. The US treasury seems to print more money on a daily basis, with a current deficit of over a trillion each year. What this means is that, with supply expanding limitlessly, the value of the dollar is dropping rapidly. Again, because of the finite nature of Bitcoin, this is not a concern.
  5. Because the Bitcoin IRA is becoming increasingly popular, it is now also much easier to find a financial advisor that can help you make the right investment decisions.

If you are wondering whether or not you should open a bitcoin IRA, the simple answer is that yes you should. But do understand that having a bitcoin IRA does not mean you should invest 100% in cryptocurrencies. Rather, only a fraction of your overall investments should focus on those but you will require a digital IRA just to be able to hold any.

Funny about Money is a little old lady with a computer, not a financial adviser, financial advising firm, or anything even vaguely related thereto. No part of this site’s content should be construed as advice, and you should not take anything that is said here as investment or financial advice. Speak with a professional before making important decisions about your money, your professional life, or your personal life.

“Another Beautiful Day in Arizona…”

“…Leave us all enjoy it!”

{chortle!} That was the slogan of a long, long-ago governor of Arizona, a classic specimen of the state’s political fauna. The guy had been a radio announcer before he rose to the state’s highest office. He was a bit of an ignoramus, a good ole’ boy who may or may not have feigned that style. As it developed, he was far from the most stupid of the critters we have elected to public office. Evan Mecham took that cake. Ev was the Donald Trump of the Southwest.

What a character.

Ev was so flamboyantly bizarre — and so excessively stupid — that nobody wanted to miss a minute of the sideshow. We all — every citizen of the state — went out and bought these tiny portable TVs (this was long before the day of cell phones and Google News), which we toted into the office with us. It took a year and four months to shovel him out of office. He was impeached in April 1988, when he enjoyed a criminal trial for his efforts as, uhm, governor.

It was hilarious while it lasted. But then…to have a fool for a governor is a bit different from having one as President of the United States, hm?

In less laughable climes: Just found two (!!) emergent holes of paloverde beetles under one of the beloved Arizona sweet orange trees. The monsters love citrus as much as they love paloverde trees.

That tree was peakèd this spring, so I suspected something was up. (Or…down under.) Citrus trees will go “off” once every few years, look sickly, and produce rather sad fruit. Then they revive the following year. It’s as if they need to “rest” every now and again. But I’m afraid the present anemia resulted from its roots being eaten by these goddamned bugs’ grubs, which live most of their lives underground — about 8 years. When they emerge to breed, they’re at the end of their lives — they only last a few days above ground.

Control is extremely iffy. We might say “feeble.” Virtually nothing kills them. Some years ago I found a supposed organic treatment — you apply these microbes that allegedly attack the grubs, infect them, and do them in. But after a couple of years of applying according to instructions, they didn’t do a thing.

Then a guy at Home Depot — a retired arborist come back to earn a few pennies to finance his loafing — steered me to an insecticide that he claimed, contrary to accepted wisdom, would do the grubs in if applied at the right time of year and well soaked into the ground. That stuff does work moderately well. It certainly cut the number of emergent holes, which at one point were upwards of a dozen around the paloverde tree. Since at any given time an infestation can deliver hundreds or thousands of grubs, you know that for every mature, flying beetle dozens and dozens of babes are chewing away at your trees.

The problem with said insecticide is you can’t apply it to food plants. So if I put this stuff on the oranges, I won’t be able to eat next year’s crop of oranges. And that will not be a good thing. Those oranges are like candy. I gorge on them all spring, starting in February. I can easily eat five or six for breakfast, and then pull off some more during the day.

So I’m loathe to apply it. Not only do I not want to do without next year’s crop, neither do I know whether the following year’s fruit will be safe to eat. And of course, given that this stuff certainly isn’t going to kill all of the thousands of grubs underground (there were still some emergent holes the summer after I dumped it around the paloverde tree), getting rid of them may entail having to apply it several years in a row. Or…now and evermore.

It’s very early for paloverde beetles to emerge. Forgodsake, this is only May! They normally come out at the beginning of monsoon season, which starts mid- to late July. Apparently the combination of heat, humidity, and long daylight hours calls them forth. For two of them to climb out of the ground at this time of year is pretty surprising.

A flock of a dozen whitewing doves are scarfing up the seed I put out this morning. An interested thrasher is also lurking around. Thrashers will eat paloverde beetles. I’ve seen one do battle with one of those armored bugs…and it’s quite a show! So it’s in the trees’ interest to attract some fierce and muscular flying dinosaurs…as well as their cousins, the mockingbirds.

Here’s a thing that looks sort of like a house finch, but he’s probably not getting the type of food he most needs. His head and breast are distinctly orange, not red, which (so we’re told) indicates he’s not finding food with enough pigment to make him red. When you’re a lady house finch, you tend to favor a gent with the reddest possible coloring.

And the requisite pair of Abert’s towhees are back. These fine little birds will clear out an anthole in a few days. They do a funny little dance in leaf litter that involves hopping back and forth to stir things up until they flush a sowbug or some other hapless ground-crawling critter. It is, we might say, a well fed bird in these parts.

Speaking of the paloverde tree, one of its major branches has become so heavy it has dropped down to the level of the back wall and threatens to rest on the roof. Luis the arborist said he would come by this afternoon (that would mean “some time this week, maybe”) to take a look at it.

Luis is a very fine tree guy, hampered only by the fact that he no habla a helluva lot of inglès. Old-country men have much to recommend them, specifically a kind of grace and courtliness that tempers their machismo. Not only does he have this much-to-be-desired characteristic, he also really knows how to maintain trees. Never once have I seen him hack away at a tree with a chainsaw. He trims and shapes each tree by hand, with his brain fully engaged. He knows what he’s doing, and he does it well.

My plan is to ask him if we can brace that big stem up, because (especially at this time of year!) I don’t want to lose its shade. But I can just imagine what he’ll say about that.

I may have to take out a bank loan to pay him — there wasn’t enough in the checking account to cover Chuck’s bill for the damn Venza’s new battery and also stave off bankruptcy. In addition to the paloverde tree in back, the shrubs I installed in front to block the view of the former Dave’s Used Car Lot, Marina, and Weed Arboretum ran amok this spring. It’s surprising the neighbors haven’t complained to the city about them. So there are at least three very large plants out there that need to be cut back.

devil-pod-treePlus Gerardo would like to say good-bye to the devil-pod tree on the west side. I’d like to see it go, too. But…

a) I do not wish to say good-bye to its shade, despite the unholy mess it makes; and
b) Neither do I wish to say good-bye to one of Gerardo’s cousins, who you may be sure will be sent into the treetop (which touches the stratosphere now) to hack it down; and
c) Nor do I wish to have one of those characters drop a branch on my neighbor Terri’s roof, since I very much doubt my homeowner’s insurance will cover any such antics.

I think it will require a crane to take it down safely, that’s how high the tree is now. And I’m going to afford that…how?

Stressed & De-Stressed

Yesterday, then, I got back from the junket to the Mayo for the vaunted stress test along about two in the afternoon, having dawdled at Costco and Target on the way home.

What a joke. I think.

Passed with flying colors: forthwith my PA posted the results and explained them: nothing wrong with this, nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that other thing, everything is working. Read: “You have nothing wrong with you that we can tell from this test.”

And probably nothin’ wrong with me, period.

When I showed up in their precincts, the staff — who cannot be beat for kindness and lucidity — repeatedly told me how hard this test was gonna be, and ohhh we’re going to work you so hard and you’re going to be gasping for air, so don’t be surprised when you feel like you’re going to expire…and on and on.

Well, ohh-kayyy….

Not so much.

{chortle!}

So they put you on this treadmill, which they can tilt at various grades. You start out strolling along on the flat, which cannot be said to exercise you much. Then for phase 2 they incline the thing a bit and up the speed. This makes you feel like you’ve been walking around the neighborhood at a decent clip — think “dragged behind your assertive German shepherd.” Then, for the real terror they set the incline at about what I’d estimate to be a 4% or 5% grade and jack up the speed a little more. Not fast enough that you’d have to run to keep up, though: just a fairly brisk walk.

All of this procedure lasts, I’d guess, about six or eight minutes. It’s not very difficult. At the most “extreme” stage, I felt exactly the same as I feel when walking up the north side of Shaw Butte. Working, but hardly about to expire. And no, I was not especially out of breath.

So it was an interesting experience. What was especially interesting about it was that they seemed to expect that I would find it very difficult, even verging on painfully exhausting.

Y’know…. If most Americans find that exercise difficult, then most Americans are radically out of shape.

Seriously! With the exception of the abbreviated crash fitness course last week, the extent of my exercise for the past few months has been walking the dogs around the neighborhood, about every second or third day. I’m too lazy even to walk the poor little beasts every day.

It is true that I habitually park about as far from a store’s entrance as I can get — partly so I can pull straight through two nose-to-nose parking spaces (so as not to have to back out around some behemoth SUV) but partly to sneak in a few extra steps of walking.

And it is true that I do not like elevators (having fallen 11 stories in one before we could get it stopped), and so given a choice will always take the stairs. Within reason. More than four or five flights and yeah, I’ll give up and take the damn elevator. But…since most commercial buildings in these parts are in single-story malls, it’s a rare day that I’m even presented with the choice.

And it is true that I walk faster than most people. (Yeah: I actually walk faster than I can run. I hate running.) But see the first item, above: No regular walking in months.

Consider, then: If a 73-year-old bat whose main exercise entails walking to the kitchen counter to pour another glassful of wine thinks the great flap about “ooohhh how HARD this test is gonna be” amounts to the most laughable thing she’s seen or heard since the daily Trump report, most people who show up in their precincts must be in very bad shape, indeed.

Walking bowls of Jell-O, presumably.

Anyway, I was SO happy and relieved to get done with this adventure that the minute I got in the door I speed-walked straight to the kitchen and pulled out the half-bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon residing in the fridge. And yes…

Yes. Drank it all.

Shortly a friend called to invite me to dinner. Since a) I could barely stumble down the hall without risking a ticket and b) I’d also had a magnificent meal of curried scallops over rice with wonderful fresh chard out of the garden, I had to decline.

So clearly the two docs whose business model favors dispensing as much medical care as they can dream up, whether you need it or not, were overprescribing. In a big way. More on that, later.

For the nonce: time for another health-enhancing feast (steak, little purple potatoes, asparagus, watercress salad, tomato, avocado, etc.) and another swiggle (or two, or three) of health-enhancing wine.

Prosit!

 

Money, Medical Practice, and the Patient

So you’re no doubt all on the edge of your seats: WHAT did the Mayo say about the endless blood-pressure conundrum, in the wake of the Affair of the Phantom Heart Attack?

Mwa ha ha!

Friday morning I stock up the covered wagon, yoke the oxen, climb into the seat, snap the bull-whip, and head across-country to that fine organization’s doctor’s offices — from my house, about halfway to Payson. Traffic isn’t bad, for a change — it’s the tail end of rush hour — and I get there in less than an hour.

That notwithstanding, they call me right in. I present the current three months’ worth of twice-daily blood-pressure measures called up by my cardiologist “in the wild” (this is what we call doctors who practice outside the coveted Mayo system), explain why I thought I needed to make a fast run on the ER at 2 a.m. the other morning, and fork over a long list of questions and observations:

The main question/proposal: We need to treat the causes of this supposed elevated BP, not the results.

Factors: There appears to be a correlation between what I tag “annoyance” (comprising annoyance, frustration, anger, and related negative emotions) and higher numbers. A correlation also exists with hot flashes. And another factor appears to be pain: headache, musculo-skeletal, dental, etc.

  1. Hot flashes: These episodes occurred before I started on the amlopidine & they continue, but it wasn’t until after I started taking it that they began happening with some frequency. Whatever is causing them, they clearly are directly connected to BP spikes. BP is elevated every time I test during or shortly after a flash.

What is causing these hot flashes? Could there be an ovarian problem? Can we address this issue?

  1. “Annoyance”: I seem to have developed a problem coping with minor (and major) daily aggravations, such as computer hassles, urban driving, work stress, bureaucratic bullshit, & the dog yapping. Unclear whether a causal relation exists between mild anger or irritation and spikes: the “annoyance” tag also appears many times in the absence of a spike — often when numbers are in the low 120s and 110s.

Some of these issues cannot easily be dispensed with:

  • To live in the city, I have to drive.
  • My business partner declines to fire the infuriating client.
  • I can’t do business or function socially without dealing w/ a computer.
  • I am not getting rid of the dog.

What can be done to address a physiological reaction to frustration, annoyance, and anger?

  1. Pain. This is a constant: at my age, you just hurt as part of life. Chronic sources of pain:
  • Headache. Probably sinus; occasionally migraine. Sometimes stress.
  • Hip pain. Undoubtedly related to osteoporosis.
  • Mastectomy scars.
  • Dental pain of unknown etiology.

Recently learned that pouring cool or cold water over your head can stop a stress or migraine headache, and this drops BP reading rapidly. Otherwise: I can’t take acetominophen, ibuprofen, or aspirin.

Got any other ideas? Is there a way to determine whether I actually am allergic to OTC pain-killers? Or to desensitize me to at least one of them?

  1. Supposed” elevated BP. There appears to be a great deal of controversy over what is dangerous and what is not.
  • Mayo’s ER doc called me, three times, a “very low-risk patient.”
  • British NHS guidelines differ from US guidelines.
  • HALO-3 researchers (Lonn et al.) found BP-lowering drugs led to no change in mortality & morbidity after 5 years.
  • New AHA guidelines have been criticized on several grounds.
  • Pharmaceutical companies fund the American Heart Assn., confounding the issue with an obvious financial motive
  • Other studies (e.g., Diaou et al, BMJ) suggest guidelines are too low and many people are overtreated

What, really, is the science-based, proven significance of BP spikes that occur in response to external stimuli? Is an average BP in the mid-120s/high-70s to mid-80s something that needs to be treated? Show me the science that proves it!

To my astonishment, the woman they assigned to me — a P.A. who specializes in cardiology — actually sat down and read all this bullshit! Instead of just glancing at the figures I’d compiled for the cardiologist (which is what he does: gives a cursory glance at the overall average), she sat there and studied the spreadsheet. She read my questions and thought about them. (I hafta ask you: when have YOU had a doctor behave like this?)

After I’d had time to calm down (nothing makes me more miserable or more nervous than going into a doctor’s office or a hospital, except possibly a face-to-face encounter with a home invader), she took my blood pressure and pronounced it non-alarming. She was familiar with the HOPE-3 study and knew about its five-year finding that blood-pressure-lowering drugs had exactly zero effect on mortality and morbidity among its large sample population.

And finally she opined:

• 108/75 is too low for me. This is why I have been feeling so dragged out I can barely haul myself down to the bathroom.
• The occasional spikes into the 140s are not very out of the ordinary, nor are they anything to get hysterical about.
• I should quit taking the drug ASAP. (Beat her to that one!)
• I should knock off tracking my blood pressure every damn day, for godsake.
• She was ordering a stress test and a full blood panel. Go downstairs now, please, to get the latter done.
• Make an appointment, please, for the stress test. Seeya soon!

It was pretty clear that she did not think I needed to be on a $125/bottle calcium-channel blocker — or anything else. Nor did she think there was really much of a problem. The average BP compiled over the past three months of 123.4/81.9 struck her as within the safe range.

Wow.

When I staggered out of her office and bounded down the fire-escape to my car, I felt more like crying than celebrating.

Sumbiche. I’ve been through two years of this torture, with doctors in the wild trying to pressure me onto these drugs by repeatedly telling me that if I don’t take them I’m going to drop dead of a stroke or heart attack.

One hesitates to state the obvious: that I was gratified when her opinion echoed my own. But yes: I was gratified that her opinion echoed my own. But that is because my opinion is grounded fairly solidly in science: I do know how to read a research report, and I certainly can distinguish between science and woo-woo. Those traits follow naturally on several years as a technical editor.

* * *

Some years ago, my beloved, long-time, and much trusted GP, Tim Daley, quit his private practice and went to work for the Mayo. He had done his residency at the Mayo in Minnesota and was delighted when they opened for business here in Arizona. Despite the pleading and dismay of his partners, LIKE A ROCKET he shot out of downtown Phoenix and off to Outer Scottsdale.

Naturally, I followed him. One does not easily let go of a competent, intelligent doctor imbued with experience and common sense. Getting insurance that would cover the Mayo was sometimes challenging, but in the occasional years that My Beloved Employer dropped the ball, I would go out on the open market and buy my own.

Eventually, Tim retired.

His parting shot to me was this: Never hire a doctor who relies on a private practice to make a living. Get yourself a doctor who is paid a salary. All other doctors are motivated to “discover” reasons that you need treatment and medications that will keep you coming back to their office for endless consultations and further rounds of treatment.

“Holy shit!” said I. “Where does one find a doc who gets paid a salary, this side of Luke Air Force Base?”

“In Arizona? Your only choice is the Mayo. Or,” he added, “doctors who have ’boutique’ practices, whereby you pay a stiff annual fee for the privilege of becoming one of the limited number of patients they see.”

Toward the end of my tenure at The Great Desert University, the state offered PPO coverage that included the Mayo, so I was able to stay on their rolls that way. (Wander off, and the Mayo will dump you: especially if you’re on Medicare, whose bureaucracy they prefer not to deal with). Once I got on Medicare, I was a legacy patient and so they could not gracefully boot me out.

I hadn’t thought much about Tim’s advice in recent years. But now on reflection it comes back to me. Get a patient with BP in the 120s or low 130s believing she has “high blood pressure,” slap her on the smallest dose of BP meds you can prescribe, and you’ll get her locked in to coming back every three months for a consultation, now and forever. And that will be a consultation for which you can charge Medicare and her Medigap insurance, to the max. She will, in a word, represent your bread-and-butter.

So, my friends. Bear in mind that medical practice is not a religious calling. It is a business. You are a cash cow, no less for doctors and hospitals than for vendors of televisions, communication systems, real estate, and cans of beans. In America, you have to be an alert and aware consumer of medical treatments, same as you need to be an alert and aware consumer of anything else.

And good luck to you…